..day 54..

so we are ordering masks

even though we don’t go

out

even though on our

walk we see sheep &

other gentle creatures

even though it is not

recommended

we use our common sense

those with machines stitch

them at home

others have a template &

glue them

found fabrics & hope we

have sticky in tubes

some where

i am being gifted

while ebay will assist

instead of folding

handkerchiefs

yesterday i sawed wood

the blades are old so i

oiled them a bit and all

was easy

it is best to set the mind straight on things

before starting i find

it may be best to keep the sentences even

which i have not

it is different music

this morning

i dreamed they all wore white

the boys in sailor suits

james

not counting

funny old day
history reminding
finding
future holidays cancelled

fiddling in the garden achieving
**** all of any importance yet

the day passed and i found old
seeds to sow to
& hope they will
grow

found plants in the graveyard
sedum spread
so cleared a few flat gravestones
of the stuff
put in pots

read the inscriptions

was gived some wooden pallettes
for something
from the guy next door who wanted
rid

talked about soap with you

and it seemed a funny old day
all round
here

james

staying home again today

..day 52..

i left your name in once

in error

and she was so intrigued

i some times leave it there

some more

you may have noticed

 

as you noticed the soap affair
started early probably when

mum

bought a new one

 

look at the wrapper

look at the  image on the top

look a little baby walking

look a crown

 

will you like the wrapper for the smell

and the white paper underneath to draw

on

 

will you like to go to woolworths to look

at the soap and buy one for granny for

her birthday

she likes ashes of roses you know

 

round which makes it feel special

when our everyday is blocks

of yellow or green

yellow for our face and hands

green to wash the clothes

moving the stains

 

for the bathroom we had breeze

as i said before and the name is

a wonder and i cannot buy it now

 

those that have given me soap in boxes

i still have it for i am not worthy enough

to spoil it

only to treasure it

 

james

quite clean

day 51.

i told him that i think of him between
vanner farm and the wild garlic every
morning now
message him

i can walk the whole hill to hafod fach
round the corner and on by the farm
yard without stopping now

when before all this i could not

i can go draw here every single day
whatever i like

when before i did not

a bit a gardening i enjoy as does the robin
when before there was not a lot

my cupboards are tidy, orderly
before they were not

i found soaps kept in tins after the mouse
had chewed

now in the studio for the corona
project

i guess there has always been a thing around soap
it has always had importance, the names

breeze, fairy , sunlight showing my age
those with emblem of ownership
chucked out from the office years
back

cracked

i am finding the paris soap lathers lovely

yves st laurent

james

worth each penny

.day 50..

the flowers are corona as you know
now
they escape it seems
and spread about

i went back with resolve to be
untidy
then looked at the extra sleeve
and got excited

so back to the drawing board
hardboard

to work again on this corona
angel

joan
she is always joan
the other one

i like the word truck
he has one next door
full of things that
farmers need and
tied with bits of orange
string like farmers have

he strimmed that path yesterday
while i hung out the window to
watch the flowers die

we talked about the hedgehog
the evidence

food delivery arrived and
they forgot the chocolate

so i ate some icecream
it made me feel dizzy
james

50 days!

quietly

..day 49..

my walk yesterday was rained upon
so hood up head down we saw the stones
sheltered under gorse
noted the sky changing

were the markers always there
left by some other
wanderer?

i had this angelic person on paper
down the studio
that was so precise and quite particular

a long winded affair
with prehistoric music
and crouching from
the weather outside

prepared to mess her up
yet all i achieved was an
extra pair of sleeves really

oh

i hope to revert to an earlier
idea of smudge and carbonate

james

you see
there is no control
only that we think we have
which is probably all imagined

i drew in early
as it came the
national thing day
which some of us avoid

not wishing to be controlled
and not thinking it helps
anyhow

note 1.

being a bad personage
not doing as instructed
again

..day 48..

i let it in
fear
and confusion

had held it apart and got on with the lockdown
my way. then i spoke to another not full of gusto
nor war time spirit , born more recently

that stuff is junk anyhow
keep grinning while all around is dying.

allowed not to be alright a while so
found that expensive soap he bought that
i kept in memory

took it out off its branded box and bathed
with its glorious smell

the small slither
left over from
the mill

will go to the studio iconic
ironic that i am surrounded
with soap
at this time

james

this morning the house is perfumed
outside it rains and i get on with the
day once again

i dream my friends struggle and
i cannot help james

yes we must be careful
very careful james

later i fell over the concrete pots
moved into the wet to
benefit the plants

blood and synchronised
swearing

plus a big sticking plaster for comfort

stay safe james

(not such a hard *****)

day 47..

some times we need to make a move
some says bite the bullet yet i certainly
do not have one
i wonder if you

do

i feel it will damage teeth and while there
are difficulties with dental visits presently

maybe the first phrase
is preferable?

my fancy may not be reality in that
the desire is in the present while all
comes quiet
though in my view
the road is busier
lately

will i really want to ride among traffic
both vehicles and other folk on bikes
or walking and walking with dogs

i remember other summers down the tracks
locals and happy tourists zooming along no

bells to notify arrival

i stayed later this morning finding it damp
again

thinking the fire may not light

a treat in these troubling times
should i meditate i wonder to

rid the mind of all the wonderings
yet maybe those are the seeds of

the work

then i wonder why thoughts
constantly drift to lampeter as

i write

with walnut trees
though no nuts
last autumn

do you believe in omens?

james

pink sky
slight dampness
hanging

day 45..

only on the slate outside or up the path here

the lane is steep downwards and i may slip

or see people
which is worse?

that is a question you can tell by the mark

wooden ones

i go by the back path as it is common ground
a right of way
for access

see no one
which is mighty
fine especially
these days

that is steep too
worn almost into
steps in parts

we talked about other devices
yet it came too stressful so i

looked at bikes and noted those
electric things at such a price yet
i hope you get one

really

seems i prefer walking up hill these days
to flat

(april 2020)

.day 40..

i hear them say that it is the solitude of lockdown
that brings these words

perhaps they are right
who knows really

there is that word again
even on my shopping card

a sticker so that i recognise that
it is not the other one though the

accounts merge into one these days

she takes it when she goes shopping
on tuesdays in the little coin purse
with the bow

it is that detail or dots which attracts me

she needed a more precise description than

buns

so i explained that not being fussy hot cross ones
teacakes or plain  will be nice
suffice
and she got extra large
some beans and tinned
peaches

left in a bag
in the shade

with the receipt
tucked neatly

you see james how deep the thoughts this
lockdown
said sarcastically
with careful spelling

i am still drawing joan now with summer attire

i am still drawing james

a longer walk to the toll along the old railway track
long gone

saw the herons balancing the tops of trees at hengwrt
skinny legs and battle cries

stood the bridge a while
remembered

(stay safe
eat your veg)

hey i could mention the numbers
to add or divide and it seems those

today work well

i enjoyed your talk of roads, reminded me
that when we were in chester on a stayover
a birthday treat

she told me how it took years for someone
to remark upon a street there that was not straight
like all the others built by romans

on investigation found the remains of an amphitheatre
the road built to avoid

nicely excavated you may sit there now
only one can’t in the lockdown
nor sunbathing

i am glad we went that year
it was lovely

romans stil roam the streets with children
following dressed in proper gear shouting
learning
terrorising the shoppers who feign fright
then laugh

not now
in the lockdown

so children learn other things at home
like stars and satellites
birds and butter on bread

i have learned about garden fires these
few weeks, how not to upset the neighbours

how to get up early specially in
my pyjamas light it carefully

learned the ways of leaves and wood
the varieties
my patience required

then stand and watch the smoke plume
against the chill of the hour

once i saw a chap paint that in watercolour
and i wondered

a
good morning
feel better than
yesterday when
thoughts drifted
into things i will
rather forget

as we all do sometimes

james

day 45..

only on the slate outside or up the path here

the lane is steep downwards and i may slip

or see people
which is worse?

that is a question you can tell by the mark

wooden ones

i go by the back path as it is common ground
a right of way
for access

see no one
which is mighty
fine especially
these days

that is steep too
worn almost into
steps in parts

we talked about other devices
yet it came too stressful so i

looked at bikes and noted those
electric things at such a price yet
i hope you get one

really

seems i prefer walking up hill these days
to flat

8

day 44.

maybe she is breathing out

it has changed maybe it
is the extra time though
we have the same time
we always had now we

use it differently

shall i write to tell him
that things are tidier
neater that
colour creeps in
yet most of my paints
are unavailable

shall i write to ask
if all is well
or leave it all to chance?

last evening i looked at the price of wooden stilts
then ladies light bicycles
would you believe?

how things take us in this time of quiet with this
longer sentence
in all respects

i have at least another six weeks yet with recent
findings it may come longer

sunday

..day 43..

each day, each day the suns shines
and we stay at home

we plant the pots up, decide to order
more

wonder why we had a gardener now
we concentrate

that is such a thing with the hand steady
the birds singing we draw the line in one

sweep
draw the semi
circle

the halo appears
so joan will be
revered

if the pencil slips
she will remain
ignored

all around they live in groups
do you hear them chatting
laughing

here it comes quiet
concentrated

flowers and drawings
the story of joan, james

i think of those blue flowers
other than the red i draw
corona

i too have gasped
over colour unexpected

he looked older
i prefer when
the edges are slightly worn

i think it may be the weekend

(April 2020)

.day 42.

flowers are the fruit

corona

 

some years back i gagged

them speechless

scanned and photographed

them

 

now those bindings reappear

masks

controversial here

as were the bindings

back before

 

bound  words escape

masked flowers form

come free

 

things are slower now

deliberate

motion

across the page

 

graphic, the graphite is

in lockdown at the secondary

studio

so public that

it maybe done

for good

 

she thrives

no symptoms that they can see

yet the words escape disguised

 

the truth project

they know his name

41..

i dream of angel cake soft layers of colour
shop bought
like mum did

in the lockdown the law is that we must
bake it
at home

i don’t i mainly
walk and draw

as you know

the sleeve comes longer more stylist
different than the left one come too
long

i may be able to draw hands yet
like the empty sleeve better the
shape at the end

he rode  ahead on his bike
i ran to keep up the conversation
still distanced
as if i was in
training

the farmers drove by unsmiling
later down by the gate where
the ram was caught in the wire

they waved and smiled
i watched the sewing
i watched the stars
the seating all arranged

now in the corner
i listen to cohen
and the like

james

prefer fruit really
i feels happy with
it

(April 2020)

.day 40..

i hear them say that it is the solitude of lockdown
that brings these words

perhaps they are right
who knows really

there is that word again
even on my shopping card

a sticker so that i recognise that
it is not the other one though the

accounts merge into one these days

she takes it when she goes shopping
on tuesdays in the little coin purse
with the bow

it is that detail or dots which attracts me

she needed a more precise description than

buns

so i explained that not being fussy hot cross ones
teacakes or plain  will be nice
suffice
and she got extra large
some beans and tinned
peaches

left in a bag
in the shade

with the receipt
tucked neatly

you see james how deep the thoughts this
lockdown
said sarcastically
with careful spelling

i am still drawing joan now with summer attire

i am still drawing james

a longer walk to the toll along the old railway track
long gone

saw the herons balancing the tops of trees at hengwrt
skinny legs and battle cries

stood the bridge a while
remembered

(stay safe
eat your veg)

yes it is day 39.april

whatever that feels when each day is taken
at a time. each task taken in order only there
is no order
no more

we find our own routines
our tasks for each day given

i heard the cuckoo yesterday
and swallows are up on the
rise

have i mentioned that already

in the garden white blue bells
amongst the blue blue bells

while cowslips reappear early
this year

tread carefully my dears

it is hard in the narrow lane
to distance and we edged
back into the nettles no
explaination the new normal
manners

i will like to make a bench
yet have no plank around

so i made signs for the house
for the delivery men who cannot
find me

i have ordered buns and he
need to know what sort he said

i explained any buns will do
a treat
i am not fussy
though maybe those hot kissed ones will be nice

really, oh really

yesterdays reply came on the hill
and emotion took over
i blamed the wind
when i wiped my eyes
dry

(april 2020)

..it is day 38..

the numbers are not existing no more
just marks on paper and my brain explodes

we remember logarithms, sines and cosines

tables & music notes that melted away into

no understanding
whatsoever

yesterday cleared and we found a place to
read in the greenhouse
i was not prepared
not a good gardener
which means that i am not a good person
for it seems the lockdown law that all must
have plants and make fresh bread

the little house is tidy and painted now
she brought me the chair in secret now
she puts her life out there
on the ambulance so i

sit there and read
worry for her and
all the others for

all the good that worry does

later i drew all neat and precise
like as if that was important or
something
after hours
i did smudgy
and it much improved my situation

later up the house i found that we danced to the same music
yesterday



samba

(april 2020)

..day 37..
took the car out yesterday
five weeks on the drive as
i laughingly call it here

bit of a track with steps
up to the church behind

my journey was non essential
the only breaking of rules so

far
no not far
just to blast the engine. nothing
on the road except my neighbour

in his pickup tied with string

no one in authority
stopped me
and it felt like the best thing
ever yesterday

until hood up and over i watched
the live stream

then laughed so much with messages
i phoned and we laughed some more

together
despite
to spite

the trouble

yet
the worry remains
horribly yes so horribly
horrible

(april 2020)

..day 36..

i find i have built a cocoon, a nice place to be
shielded
yesterday was interupted by reality a while

& failed early
busy i was

drawing the japanese with their found fabrics
watching the marks come good, no smudging
intended
yet it came
without warning

you see there is not such a thing
not like in the war there were sirens

they still tested them down the end
of our road when i was a child & I
listened in wonder & was afraid

then

there were the stink poles outside
too and up the hill a big chimney
where they burned the waste

there are two of them as there often
is
reflecting each other yet
spot the difference

they say there may be spots too
i went once with those like in comic
red dots all over

he said it was an immune reaction &
i still get two on bad days

we talked about that yesterday
immunity responses & other
guidance

so james i wearied early with it all
talked about the goats up the crimea
slept well
know that
this is a another day

(april 2020)

.day 35..

came like the others
early we walked up

over the golf, the hills
done first. to the top

where the swallow flew
reconnecting

she said it was all downhill
and so it was, we could have
walked for hours yet
we only get one you see

i stick to the rules
as i am a ****, do
as i am instructed

except the iron railings
syndrome

have you heard of that
james
did you do it over there
too

we loosened the work
and i felt it came bad
then shh-apes on twitter
liked it very much not
knowing why really

and retweeted it as
some do, so i thanked

and will carry on

christopher brought the groceries
thought i lived in the church, that is
a laugh
really

so i spent time washing the oranges
with soap

and the other stuff
then scrubbed myself
clean and wondered

james

i remember the polio jab &
having tb tests, the jelly one
was ok, the other one hurt like
hell

i never reacted so did not get
the scar that came from that

that messed with summer arms
that was like a branding

friday
a full list
of chores
you know

(mid april 2020)

.day 34.

on looking at todays work
i see the spots are appearing
when sprayed
with cosmetic fixative
glow pink

yesterday i picked ivy from the wall
of the outbuilding. i do a little each
day
so my fingers
dont bleed

this is satisfactory
pleases me and

moves the work into a new area
the doors are painted badly now
in tune with music
from the films in
tune with the times

yes money gets tight here
so some shops & charities
give food
and other sundries

today i plan to walk ,to clean
the outside lav and maybe
you will have to google that
as i had to google your noodles

james

the drawings have come stiff again
with all this time we have at home
so i need to move them into a place
of loose adjustment
of random offerings
and sketchy lines
james

with face masks
james

i think it is thursday
when
my food delivery arrives
asda

it is a tiny tiny thing

they say it is the enemy

and evil



i wonder



when you think how  animals are treated

enslaved, hunted, squashed

& i bet they are glad we are indoors a while



yet it continues as essential

we think we own them

and imprison them



inseminate, take their babies

**** them and eat them as

essential



my mother said

what goes round

comes round



i guess the abattoirs are still open

as essential



it is a tiny tiny thing

hoping to survive

like us

like the coral

like all things

(mid april 2020)

..day 32..

started off cold yesterday james
yet i got warm after pounding up
the hill on the new walk
to discover the sky

for sky there was and bluebells

remember how i rubbed her back
with the perfume to help the pain

now he is 5 feet four inches already

i marked it on the wall in absentia
ensured the other labels, the other
years were secure
some with sticky
some with pins

of course

later we wondered about the new
colour for the gate
with all the stores closed
i decided on yellow
as that is the only colour
i have

oh unsuitable paint you
covered lovely with no
comments as all are at
home

as advised

later cut up the little pictures
to start the change in imagery

with the blue scissors
that are too modern
for the house so live
in the studio

categorised

leonard cohen plays
soft light
water heater on

it is a tiny tiny thing



1a

( mid april 2020)

.day 31.

later here as i chatted to a friend
who commented that i am up early

reminded him therefore he is early
too to respond

the stone walls are everywhere, old crumbling
some rebuilt recently
one down the lane
i watched him a while

found some old bits of stuff
in the debris, plates and metal bits
and kept them

he pointed at my broken wall, slumping
said he can fix it if it goes and
i thought that i shall probably be gone
by then too
and save the expense

so the walls line my walk all the way
and back, in the distance follow up
over the hills, the mountains

in the cwm are made of slate off cuts
differing colours pertaining to the
region

like old grey teeth edging the path,
the field fastened by wire

do you know them james
do you have them there

we have slate quarries up the road,
down the road, some not working
no more

yesterday the police were called
to gloddfa ganol, to people
misbehaving in the lockdown

i place markers on the wall
i wonder if folk notice james

it does not matter though
as i notice

he said to be careful that these things
we do never become a chore for
us

i realise now it is my issue
not theirs

there is a lad on a bike rides
these lanes most days
eats pancakes after

he says he can gain 5 pounds
in one day

really, oh really

monday ( holiday)
if i stay quiet i can hear a lot of things

imagine a lot of things



1111

(april 2020)

..day 30..

another one has come along here recently
alongside the return of the grey thing, sweetheart

i call the new one tabby thing for now

while in llandudno the goats were on the beach
yesterday

instead of folk

we walked early yesterday hoping to be alone
the others had the same idea
we kept our distance
while calling over from
one lane to the other

there is one lamb with a black spot
shall we name him spot james for
these down the back lane have no
numbers

she told me back then that it does not hurt the sheep
all this intervention, cutting ears and the rest of it
she a farmer’s daughter
i am not sure i agree

(april 2020)

..day 29..

i am surprised that you are surprised
i watched him on my neighbours tv
for we did not have one

we had the radio rented

we sat on the floor & i think i was
supposed to enjoy the experience

i hated it
we went on tuesdays & thursdays

i prefered to watch the one in the tv
shop window on my own even though
there was no sound

on my way with the can to buy parrafin
for the stove

on checking the spelling find that one
can buy it on ebay
these days

i did not mind that
though i hated the
launderette also

i remember the boys doing things i knew
was wrong
without a telling

she said that we are doing the lockdown with grace
those like us
though
i have seen that some make their own rules
like as children

saturday

(april 2020)

..day 28..

not much happens yet a lot
happens each day

yesterday i turned at the cattle grid
counted to ten as always
turned to see that all is green

seems suddenly
i know it was
gradually

like gradually the markers came
maybe someone someday will
see them
suddenly

they say it is a holiday
with more folk about
so i will go early, used
to being solitary

four weeks &
there will be
more

i draw them in boxes now
solo

or family units

i change the cd
and dance where
no one can see

friday

(april 2020)

..day 27..

the day came hot & for a while i lounged watched the wildlife
with longer sentences that have little interest nor meaning
just letters strung together in batches

the moon came large and as pink as predicted ,no cloud
nothing to stop me thinking the various scenerios knowing
that all thought or discussion in entirety change nothing

so wearying reached for my phone and managed to get my asda
shopping slot next week

i like to be independant
though  i am not sure why

a habit come from necessity all those years

now comes the time of kindness, about time
so i too accept the help offered here and there

i explained the benefits to both parties
he agreed

so far the fire burns brightly , the ivy from the fence
and the iron shed i told you about
been at it a while and know that it will smoulder and
eventually consume it all

the garden incinerator
remember

i may go back now and poke it with a stick

april (2020)

.day 26..

nice when folks call and chat
though i understand the fear
on answering

my machine kicks in then
lets them talk to it so i can
take my time in
returning things

i phoned him yesterday
he still has little coal
& thinks the coal man
may just have closed
or decided to retire in
all this confusion, so
he may ask a councillor
for help and assitance

then walk up the back ***** to the top
levels where he can see right over to
where i live and wave

we talked about his drawing, neat
and time consuming.

mine is gestural
more immediate

does not matter how we are so long
as it suits us and hurts nobody else

so we carry on day to day
with chores & that keeping busy

when the weather is good we garden
meanwhile dust gathers in the house

while we we dust, the weeds grow in
the garden

i like some weeds
i tell him the names of flowers
how some are poisonous like
monks hood

tintin and snowy were on tv last night
i was too tired to concentrate

wednesday

the edge of reason, in the edge of sleep. almost amnesia.

lay gentle, slow remembrance of reality,

low noises from the window,

slowly starting hum

of traffic.



the air moves

on my face.



i turn

look past the curtain



see the face again



framed.

(april 2020)

.day 25.

i like the music, i like things subtle

not explained

to listen with no preconcieved

notion





my mum used to have a bike to

ride up  winton to shop it was

cheaper there

she said





i remember her bottle green coat

double breasted buttons

as was the fashion then



she balanced her bags from on handles

like you



i watched the film and remember

the boys doing some of that stuff

on the handlebars



one has a scar where he came off



the japanese knotweed man from

the next village was on the hill pushing

his bike

he told me that the shoots are edible

taste like rhubarb



i think i shall not bother



i watched him glide down the next

*****

thought

i will like a bike



people tell you where they live local

these days

look at those folk on holiday

in penmachno



the police were called



the geese went over early

tuesday

why would you do that?    she said to me

when i volunteered to help in the orchard

you could be working your      own garden



later that day while helping,

learning he gave

me the rest of the  seeds



now there is honesty popping up everywhere



about time……



monday

(april 2020)


.day 24.

there has been a threat
with keeping us from

outdoor exercise
for us
to stay in our homes
and
gardens if folk do not comply
and continue to race about
on motor bikes and have barbecues
here

my initial reaction is dismay
yet if it keeps the thing at bay
will obey
and maybe do what others done
within my space

did you read the man who scaled
the size of everest on his stairs up
and down did not count

the lady ran a marathon in the garden

yesterday i find that banana split toffee
is still for sale
so it may be a treat from the internet

here

things change, only official transport is available
until things change then
it is best to drive yourself

it is an essential trip

the hedge is cut as much as i am able
next will be the ivy for i like to see the
best
of the corrugated iron shed

on a monday

i have pondered, then discussed

with a professional

how we will be let out

eventually



will it be by age

or alphabetical order?



best not be by height

for i will be the last

if it goes from big

to small



he says that those who disobeyed

got out & got it, will be first

with

immunity

with two ems



plus a cerificate to prove it

while those that obey and

did not get it

get

longer indoors



i understand from the news

that it is still being discussed



corona

(april 2020)

the wild cat is slightly fat

yet his hips remain slim



snake like



snakes figure a bit here since

i saw that one in the

famous old painting with a egg

in its mouth



i think that was the last time

i went out

(april 2020)

..day 23..
the radio says it is palm sunday

i remember that story and i also
remember palm toffee
so vividly

now there is a word

i liked the banana split bar

@ 3d

my pocket money on wednesday
i guess that is when mum got her
allowance

national assistance

we use to hit it with mum’s hammer
to break it, then **** it soft. i still

have that hammer in the third drawer
down

it is a real panic if i cannot find it there

it is named
mummy’s hammer

of course

of course the numbers are now greater
each morning. they say they will lessen
at some point

she asked if i will sell my drawings after
i said that i do not know

i just does them
fixes them & puts
them in that box

i wonder if you can still buy that toffee

i will go google

sweet pinky morning in the valley

(april 2020)

..day 22..

sometimes like this morning

i findy rusty stuff down the

end



i pick it up, line it up in the

shed or elsewhere



i like to think of the work

of the ingenuity of the

maker



those that are gone

and maybe i have a

photograph



him by the woodshed

her in the drive



given things



i looked for the geese

maybe they were earlier

today



maybe they will find a cure

or something to stop  it



it is not a living thing

just an entity

they say

i say james



i found what to do

with all the stuff

i made it a box



only lorries on the road now

we like the little foxes

their pointy noses…… we look at the newborn lambs see the market lorries and wonder…..

(april 2020)

..day 21..

no one interacts much with me here
& i am just fine with it that as i have
said before

i also draw & write most days sometimes
hope for a lazy day which never happens
so we carry on
&
what to do with all this stuff is a good
question

to which i have no answer

at present they piles up neatly until i
find a suitable box for storage

i like particular boxes
quite partcular i am

there is a new one
small in the middle
of the floor now

you see it reminds
me of the visit to
that house by the mill
where there is a box
to stand on to be able
to see the mountain
behind

i cannot go now
he says it is a
connection thing

she said it was odd

yet mostly folk leave me
alone here

and that is fine

today i forgot the number
and had to check again

what some folk feel is right

others consider wrong, some

write with the music

a few fail, falter

without much to live on

no one to care for them



some say this is not fair,             yet

i find that fair does not even figure



this life you gets what you gets

and feels how you choose to

after

dealing



however the dice fall

the cards come out



this may be your heaven

here on earth



if you like

if that is the way to think



really, oh really.

(april 2020)

..day 20..

i rang her yesterday
we laughed at how the years had passed

she said that her and her husband were
like two old folk with sticks to walk with

except they don’t have any sticks

james, i have had a form laying here for
weeks

the truth project and when it rained
i done it quick

handwriting and the ink was smudgy
it all came out the nib
the truth of it so
i stuffed it in the envelope quick and
sealed it

realised i cannot go to post it
so will ask the delivery man

i thought that today i will reopen it
to read through and type up carefully
for the record here
without alteration

i thinks i wrote it like the child i was
james

i saw a lamb just been born still
******, saw wrens all in the hedge

little things

later i watched an old film about cyclists
and thought of you except it was all crisp
with english accents, cotton shorts and
sandwiches

he had a bike and used to race my bus
and would be waiting at my home stop

proud of his achievement
every time
every day james

admiring your lines

(april 2020)

..day19..

i have read back over my time

find

i repeat myself





maybe it is the routine

that came

the same

most days





except the plane does

not come over and

there were three geese

this morning

not two as before





we have gotten neighbourly

leaving the errands on the

bench outside



the fire burned hot

melting the trash bag



we walk

we look

we wait

we work





i spoke to him yesterday

he is running out of coal

i am told the local council

group will help in this

situation james





he remembers the war

james





not involved really

1234

(march 2020)

..day 18..

a duller day not that it mattered

i burned the waste early. grey

blue plumes fading the morning

air

seen from afar while out daily

walking

one white van came slowly

asked if i was ok



it is my daily excercise &

you are doing a grand job

taking people bread in

full makeup so pretty

and pies



later she waved again as

i walked backwards to wave

to the farmer



we talked about pies later

the shapes with crimping

the shiny eggy tops with

liitle holes in the middles

made by pixies while cooling

on the sill



i guess by the conversation

we have relaxed into this

a little



which perhaps is incorrect

in these worrying times





who is listening

(march 2020)

..isolation diary..

..day 17..

bright clear cold today
early before folks wake i
light the incinerator

to burn the leaves
garden debris

the wild cat watches
each time i clear a patch
he finds another heap
to nestle in

so i wonder whether to leave
a place for him, the darling

for that is his given name

on my walk i noted the numbers
one hundred up the hill to pentre

ten at the gate

the sheep was 28 with two
lambs marked the same
there is multiplication
for you

i stopped to watch as the vehicle came
a tractor

i have been walking the centre of the track
no vehicles a fortnight all on lockdown

the farmer fetching bales and nodding
as he passed

i nodded back

noted the blossom
noted the crystal stones

walked home

it is suggested that we are out walking for one
hour

i should like to walk on
i turn for home james

176

still in my pjs with boots
my warm garden jacket

(march 2020)

..day 16..

yesterday came challenging
perhaps i have tired myself

taken in the news
the numbers

we are promised a letter from
the minister who is sick with it

mild he says
and will battle on

as are some of the other
of the cabinet

a letter that may take my walks away
i fear
so am glad of my garden

it is a country place with planned
wildness
neat is never the word
if i am grounded
so to speak will micro
manage
get to know all the little places

spaces

things broke yesterday, got lost
so i have a list for lookings, mendings
spaced
out

in my diary

police are stopping folk
keeping the isolation
as best they can

i saw he had gone to bed early, was real surprised
looked at the time and i went to bed too.

clocks changed today.

the reed bunting
says tshee, says
tschee again.

(march 2010)

starts the day much like any other
spring time, unless you hear the news

now rationed to once or twice a day
with tea or knitting

just now am up to light the garden
fire before the neighbours rise as

we don’t wish to annoy no one with
leafy smoke

have thoughts of fumigation down there
still in my pyjamas for i don’t see the point
of wearing something clean for such a smelly

job

two geese fly over
slight formation

wood pecker in our lane
rattling if that is the word

the air is cold clean when the smoke
hits then quickly dispersed before the waking

i imagine one day will stay in bed late
with nothing to worry yet i have had that

once

or even several times

now enjoy the early days the changes
and hope for the best

folks are kind
those i hardly know
with messages
for help and support

i return back virtually
only allowed out for essentials
and i have those

6.18

smokey jo

(march 2020)

is all quiet in the garden

no one to be seen only

the birds and insects

& one green caterpillar



when we viewed the house i agreed

yet wished to for more isolation



he says no we need to be near

town and a main road with

a bus route



when he was gone & i got my

pass i saw the sense in that yet

still wanted more seclusion



so i made the garden come in

a way that sheltered me



now corona came

and i am rather

isolated



14 days with more to come



is all quiet in the garden

no one to be seen only

the birds and insects

& one green caterpillar