if it is all about numbers as some suspect

you have success

 

whatever that is

 

why is that thing so important

surely it is made up and differing

for all the peoples

and creatures too

 

why james did they make those rules

before us

and even then ask why do we adhere

mostly

 

we may think we don’t

yet i feel we do mostly

 

sometimes glad to do so instead of

having our own

 

way to go

your cut and paste i understand

have been working that way some

time

 

i like the random nature of these

things

 

and do you remember, did i tell

you about the walnut trees in lampeter

that failed last year and we stood and

wondered if this was an omen

of things to come

 

maybe it was

and maybe just maybe those clouds

yesterday were a thing too

james

 

i cut the grass

once a task for the handyman

then a difficult chore for me

now comes easy

even a pleasure

while texting at intervals

 

while thinking of rhubard and

looking for the sun james

 

as for numbers

one hundred & two

with an ampersand for pattern

yet no one comments on that

 

they talk about the news

current affairs

and i wonder if it is their anger

that keeps them going james

 

while i drink tea and look at birds

daily

cannot see the thread as it is on the other page


saying that i was short on red so ordered more

via the internet

two spools so

there is plenty now

now i remember that you saw the night

properly

while here we wondered, got lost in our

head

looked up and found the morning had

come pink again

scattered light in particular places

the other in shade

he says us older ones are no longer mentioned

and maybe are now back in the general population

unlike those shielded

joan of arc

springs in mind again

as does lampeter

maybe it was an omen

the nut tree last fall

that failed

had one have predicted the happenings

at that time i would not have credited it

science fiction

survivors

quietly i say that i like lockdown again

not. not the reason for it, just the concept

was emotional when i feel all is changing

i shall not go back

i have learned the lesson

paid the price

pat says i am joan of arc

without the fire

so it was your birthday

how lovely

i have no gift

just the daily words

james

so yesterday we spoke of it

discussed it and got to know

each other better

found

we knew the others less

i have akhenaten on my app

today so nothing much will

be done here

while i watch

it was near you at the new york met james

did you know

did you see it

i did

live streaming

and made a good friend

so again i wish you a happy birthday

at midsummer while the flowers grow

while all around is humming

yet there is one here who cuts back

tidies and scrapes nature away

he told me he had an obsession

and i find i tend to agree james

a happy day after your birthday

day 100

randomly

such good numbers today
such big birds at the window
rattling the morning

it has come clear after a period of rain
it has come about

that the shops can open on monday
that i can go to the recycling centre
with garden waste too wet to burn
with the tv that broke

i made an appointment

monday after the schools open
a relaxed idea, more social than
otherwise

monday after that the self catering
restarts

i used to have the garden fire on
mondays
feels an important day of the week
now

these covid times

he came later
gave me the damp package left in
the old stove outside

i shall make it a lid tomorrow & maybe
a meeting place

what do you think james
not sure what i think any more

it is a good rock eh?
who knows what will come now
appear on paper

your bike james, maybe you are being tested
your patience and detemination

how many kittens
this time?

hopeful

you know that thing when out walking
the same way for months you see a thing
you have passed so many times without
noticing

then when you do
it is blaring obvious
it is there rejoicing in itself
and you wonder how you ever missed it

i saw it yesterday
paused and went
over to look
to photograph to be inspired when a
voice said hello

another early walker
have seen her before
a lovely face
and her little dog

we spoke
walked on
and i never took that picture
james

so will go back today

it has beautiful spots james

while i like any pattern that includes spots
and any embellishment that is bows you
know

yet
i don’t know why
only as i say that
i think i may do

i guess that is a story for another morning
james

i am hoping your bike is home

i envy you

here there were four

 

that time back

one died

another wandered off

got sent away to a rescue

place

 

recently another

my sweetheart

annoyed the people

over the village

rattled their door

dug up their veg

 

she told me

she will trap it too

send it away like

she did the other ones

 

some things come wild

we don’t own them

we can

leave them be

 

she was angry and unkind

 

i have not seen my sweetheart since

i miss her puzzled look

 

so moving on

things are now more ornate

in a rustic mode

me cutting thin slithers

 

so next i shall make wooden wheels

for something

 

the delivery man commented on my dance

i explained i was social distancing while he

told me only two in town have had it and

now got better

 

how would i know

i don’t get out much

these days

 

i explained i was preparing for longer

a second lockdown so he reminded

me we have not yet come out of the first

 

good point

 

i wonder what they are doing with the gravel james

 

the next guy delivered fruit, veg, pop and a little

chocolate

which made me dizzy

 

another  day

i set it up mostly
not all at once

nothing here is done all at once no more
we takes our time indispersed with piano
music

i imagine i can play imagine fingers flying

i can saw more now, improved from sawing bits
off
to sawing things into objects and now i can make
thin slices
with a glove for protection

we walks up the gate, looks back up side down
to see impartial
to judge
and add
more detail

delivery man pushed the gate the wrong way
bits fell off
so i stuck them back on with a twig to hold
it all back together

i make prototypes that become fact
with a temporary nature

move things around here

while in the afternoon i still draw
the trees
as i feel them

lower case

i am waiting to hear from work official too

we chats most weeks mostly about gardening
the treacherous holly

we bear the scars

so as you know most days come quiet
here
not much doing in the diary

then yesterday was all of it
together
more like we were used to

interesting that were were an are
i changed it for these are different
times

good at the garage; the mechanics with
longer hair looked lovely
we said so as we
threw the keys over the barrier
then walked home in the storm
sheltered under the tree when the phone
rang

chatted

watched the parent, two children all in waterproofs
playing by the river
throwing stones

making ripples

james

later he asked me the best bit of the day
&
it was mary phoning

day 95
he says i should keep counting
although we are all much the same

oh james i cannot tag your name this morning
in my thanks to you and i crack myself up

it is the way

never take it serious, this life
is all such a lark mainly

yesterday was such a day
with fettling and unpicking
the pallet and sawring it up
and spelling things incorrect
cos we can

it means the same

making a space come clear
imagining we are at chelsea
without the cranes and helpers

sitting on the grass until the bites overcome

watching him strimmimg the lane for the big
house
ready for the reopening
except we have no date
yet

mourning that the thistle and bindweed are cut
down

knowing i have a photograph
as i have those of him james

i like the number today
good in all respects i feel

i feel that we like the words the same
come thither, come random, moved
about with life
and details

he said he thought it would rain yesterday
and i told him i thought nothing
thought to wait and see
and found myself talking avidly about my bike
repairs
so worth finding it out

a topic
a project
the sculpture in the garden
to wheel in and out each day
counting

meanwhile james the seeds grow
and i gets smaller

stay safe

he said they have ordered take away sunday lunch with meat

it is a slow fire today
in the garden with a
lot of green stuff
smoking gently

unlike the holly
cuttings which exploded
with flame & fury needing
constant attendance

it may be a long job

some things are &
need a positive mind

with thought for others
up at dawn before them

all came quiet here yesterday
we worked in the garden making

we worked in the house making
while in the studio time stood still

i learned from him to let them chatter
to not to care nor reply
to change the subject kindly

some want to go on holidays
one wanted visitors
when she has them daily
except on sunday

down the lane

they had sunday dinner and wondering
why some folk eat different that day
googled and find it was to do with
church attendance
initially

with meat james lots of meat

my mum made that with gravy
we did not go to church only
sunday school

with stories james
just stories

i do not have sunday dinner
i have dinner
on a sunday

i brought the outside ladder
back inside

smoky joe

oh james i cannot tag your name this morning
in my thanks to you and i crack myself up

it is the way

never take it serious, this life
is all such a lark mainly

yesterday was such a day
with fettling and unpicking
the pallet and sawring it up
and spelling things incorrect
cos we can

it means the same

making a space come clear
imagining we are at chelsea
without the cranes and helpers

sitting on the grass until the bites overcome

watching him strimmimg the lane for the big
house
ready for the reopening
except we have no date
yet

mourning that the thistle and bindweed are cut
down

knowing i have a photograph
as i have those of him james

i like the number today
good in all respects i feel

i feel that we like the words the same
come thither, come random, moved
about with life
and details

he said he thought it would rain yesterday
and i told him i thought nothing
thought to wait and see
and found myself talking avidly about my bike
repairs
so worth finding it out

a topic
a project
the sculpture in the garden
to wheel in and out each day
counting

meanwhile james the seeds grow
and i gets smaller

stay safe

he said they have ordered take away sunday lunch with meat

i never know what you may write about each day

except maybe bikes

and maybe on that

i am right?

i went down the estuary yesterday

flat for a change

wide walking path

only one bike passed

went onto the toll bridge

and will have to return

for there is an honesty box

while i had no cash in my

pocket yesterday

we hauled the slate chippings

spread them by the sitting place

did not move the twigs

the focal point

we watched the birds

swallows over the meadow there

those at the feeder

at the window

cats had gone off somewhere

post brought the lavencer oil

and a head band which doubles

as a mask

james

not much news when you are at home like the others

i drew some trees

again

methane and maybe online shopping?

he once said that there would be no sheep
if we all ate vegetables only

i suggested there may still be
yet wild
free to live a gentle life like me

cheese is where i fail
i fried it yesterday like
my foster mother made
for supper

her husband down in the studio
the bell between them to call

he was at dunkirk
stuck in the water
hours, & shot in the leg

there were other care
places in the past

now i don’t care
there are no records
they say there was a fire

or something

he painted golden sunsets
over the sea
limped and was kinda nice
i remember

i am wearing last year’s sandals
and got changed after gardening
to look tidy

a first
this lockdown

james

things tucked in nicely
since all this excercise
walking and cutting things

back

as above and i am not bothered
read a little about differing valves
which triggered a vague memory

wrote to the company
to give myself time
then sometime will
simply buy another pump

universal

they said it will rain
and while it looks so
out the front
not so much at the back

it is all away in the shed
tidy and dry

i had sat looking at the nut
tree thinking that it was impossible
yet tried that with the long pole
cutting thing

it don’t take long
hey presto
no huffing
nor puffing

looks prettier
the dress hanging

always a dress hanging
here in voile out there
in cotton
some come satin and trimmed
with sequins you see
they don’t fit me

while no one sees me
it is day 90

james

his fingers move along the piano
listen
to the divine air now
we are starting to breath
a little

fancy

joan is a strong one these days
and will defy any notion of that

we are in lockdown
so they cannot get her

not much anyways
there have been a couple
of incidents but now she

is in disguise
with different
hair
more like a lady
gender

they are in the lanes
on those strong branches
sitting alone, smiling much
like the cheshire cat did

those years back
not many can see

them
glad you can too

the bike comes out everyday
looks well in the yard
gets photographed

yet the post has not brought
my requirements
my repair kits

and maybe, and probably
i cannot fix it
so will look after it
admire it daily
unless it rains

james

he came again yesterday lovely
legally at his distance
more like the free days
before this current situation

and i have told her
that things will change

could be slowly
some of the seeds
come slowly
before they flower

ragged robins, campions come quick
look already

i never thought i could do such things

damp

the sticky stuff arrived yesterday

no one read the instructions

i dunno

stuck on my fingers

very well along with

the splinter from the hedge

before

soap and hot water removed

it alongside

other things

that are more topical

at present

they say that the statue

should have been removed before

well they done it now

this weekend and chucked it in the

water

they say is should be in a museum

well it will be now

when they haul it out the

water

the grass is cut down the lane

and

makes a good photo james

all those line and patterns

it was a good walk

she has cut her hair

with clippers now

and says mine can

soon be tied back

james

i no longer look like

joan of arc

except inside myself

to myself

am cutting the jasmine back

i have learned it will still

flower lovely

later

do you ever imagine people sitting in trees?

not just all about numbers
yet the miles you rode to see
your son sound many to me
who merely walks as yet

i take the car out once a week
just to test my eyesight as the
opticians are closed

i don’t drive far

how do you feel about your
job at the hotel
will you go back if it stays

open
when all has changed around us
when things feel more difficult or

maybe i should say challenging

i spoke to others yesterday about
banning the word coping as a negative
thing said with sympathy
head to one side

it feels a frail word and does not apply

i listen to the piano play and deal with changes

today the routine will come differing as i have holly
to burn and need to stay around

it crackles and spits like fireworks
as does the box hedging

strange to me that your ground beef
be hamburgers
when ham be pigs
and beef be cows

we wonder how that occurred

so i researched pandemics while
drawing and find they last a year or 2
mainly unless is black &
that  was such a long time back

we are rebalancing

vivaldi again

one could argue that it is to soon
for the damage to show
only people don’t listen

some like to think the things
that make them feel safe and justified

i saw him yesterday walking close

to a friend not from his household
he thinks we are all over reacting

some folks go into denial as part of their process
i know as i have done that too
at times

more seeds came and i told the farmer about the
campions
but he did not know what they were
so i left one at his door later
so that he can identify

the walk was in the afternoon when the rain
stopped
no one was about except the man with the
wheelbarrow collecting wood
he goes everyday

there is a ******* the barrow to hold it
all in place

do you have to wear a helmet james?

we do over here as law i believe and
i have not got one, then, i am not going
anywhere on it yet.

we are encouraged and hoping soon
that e scooters will be valid

as i write i watch the woodpecker
enjoying the finial on my gate post

cat enjoyed the birds
and i found the body
under my bed

agatha christie

he said it was the field of

singing bells

how far is it to your son’s place
how many miles did you go?

looks like i am static this morning
with heavy rain

as you know i tried before
and it went through me
right through me

so i will rearrange maybe
create another pattern

i made a bike stand with a bit of hedge
cutting which seemed appropriate

i like to see the bike standing independant
not leaning on anything
not reliant on any one thing

i wiped it gently with a three in one
oily rag and watched it shine
sun on my back
memory at my side

i am sure there were special places in
my childhood bike to oil. i think it was
blue

it was second hand
and i fell off

he told me he fell off down the lane
went right over down into the ditch
and i was sympathetic

until he said those things
regarding those over 85

avoiding this subject
for the future for i feel
all have value
have the right to breathe

maybe james
have a break from the news?

toda
y i shall clean the surfaces

indoors

with a damp cloth as things
gather dust while i work outside

admiring the bike
being black
and generally pleasing

the seeds are growing nicely
i do not know what some may
be as i found them in an envelope

not labelled at all

james

sheltering
and are folks
getting touchy?

so good that you can travel far
visit your folks. my day will come

meanwhile likewise we watch the
birds, the creatures

she said that they were pests as we
watched them dancing branch to
other branch

they eat the bird’s nuts she said
then she said she had gone non
essential shopping for her snacks
and nuts

james

i burned the hedge *******
it took most of the day until
i only smelled of smoke
which i rather like anyway

how is your son?

did you ever see the film
of the guy that drove his lawn mower
miles to visit his ailing brother

maybe look it up?

i like the italic up there and glad
you told me the form of verse made
of scatterings and randoms that are us

and put it forth toward them
only one replied

i hope they do not think me brainy
for i am not
i just see connections

how one event does not happen alone
in isolation
or slow motion
like a film
with everything else scrubbed away

james

where will this all end
will we all be able to
breathe again?

the sky this morning came dramatic
turned the room pink

may hang the washing out early…..

do you remember  mine shook too then broke in half?

what a day yesterday soaked through i turned early with

the thought that the otter may be at the bridge

then i saw the swimmer

in black gear with goggles

as you do

he did

swim lovely

so i watched him in the rain

returned home to find a visitor by the door his tongue

probing for insects and such a good shot. we chatted

him in his khaki skin coat, me in my wet jacket

my groceries came later

stephen brought them

the store

makes sure

we know their names

and all polite

then at last i saw one of my family

who works less than the permitted

distance now

called by

one of the tribe

like minded

he will like a bike too james

what is ground beef james though

i am vegetarian

one of that tribe

james

while some cannot breathe

they say a pet monkey got lost there


you can google most everything these

days

even susan dennett


raining here, i heard it in the night

cosy

now is darker

cosy


we were forewarned so we sould have

got ready

i did mostly

yet forgot some things


can’t remember everything


we write lists and notes in ciphers

then wonders about the meaning later

my mother had abbreviations on her

shopping lists back then

i can see them in my head

her writing

the size of paper


we ate pots

chump chops

drank tea

never coffee


that came later a new fangled thing

granny had camp which only meant

tents or drinks then

in remembrance will refer to the other

shortnesses later


i shall walk in the rain next

note the differences

anyway it were a lovely day yesterday

and not just the weather james


some folks want me to get usual

yet their guidelines are different to mine

and i am very settled

i am older now

one more time

when i write that number
note it is the same for all

here

there

seems to be some confusion
between paranoia
and common sense

the age of those that died
that elderly makes that
acceptable

some confusion over what is
fact and race

in despair

i have sited the planks
stashed the chippings and have the
wood ready to saw
then store

i watch your news and see
the pity of it all, then i watch

ours the same

he asked me if i was new to
the area
i told him nigh on thirty years

his uncle grew golden rod
lived by the chapel, died a
few years ago

i thought him a quiet gentle man

so pleased about your bike and
maybe that is the way to go yet
have looked online for the bicycle
grant and find no application process

however have fresh fruit coming today
in time for lunch

am hoping for dates
yet they have been
out of stock
recently

there was no time for drawing yesterday
no time for calm amongst the hedge
and strimming

it came later
with google
piano music

there is a roundabout in dorset
called monkey jump corner
and a place
called burnt house lane

toller porcorum

a plane flew over
the woodpecker
called

 

james

did you see that christo has died?

i am wearing last year’s sandals
and they look like new
childrens
i guess i have small feet

i admire him the same as i admire
anselm keifer

while wondering if i spell them
correctly

i walked miles today
the blisters i worried over
did not materialise

first day in summer footwear

never aware that no form is
indeed a form

that randomness is recognised
as a category

the poetry group does not
meet of course
and we email the stuff
so at last i can see the format

the patterns and syllables

i may not go back
to the group if ever
all this be over

so i worked on the hedge all day
scratched, bitten and hog tired
that my head hung

we sat in bed listening
heard nothing
nothing as it came through the window
black, so beautiful

not one sound
nothing

flew around a while then back out into
the night

i know how to spell silent
yet it does not explain the
absence of sound with all
the movement
that life

this morning i listened to water
falling

we desire many things when
mostly we want to be able to
breathe
james

you never talk much about food
though you do relate coffee incidents

james i hope you do not mind me saying

i best get back to the hedge project
early
before the sun beats my back
my arms
my little nose

suntrap

at dusk the bats kinda do that

and we aint got the swallows here

like we used to have

sitting on the wires

flying in the hall

maybe again now the people

are all indoors

though more out than usual

in this warm spell

i like the pictures of the amish

neat and sedate riding in to

demonstate

so it goes

james

sometimes when we get lost

we find new experiences

a new landscape

i tell you who already know

what i said about brainwaves explains

why my mind wanders while i write

remembers places

tiny details nip

back into mind

today i am hedging again

it looks a mess so far so i

imagine

that when the worst is gone

i shall dress dainty and clip

about like a lady

all nice and tidy

other things have growed and we tied them with a scarf

is comfy

news came, we can now meet family if only 5 miles away
there is a thing, the gap is wider….

i had diaried the hedge to start it today yet on working
logisitics yesterday
starting swearing and verbally abusing the mass

missed the news and all sorts with cutting, pruning, hedging
and sweating

she came along
the local hedge police
and stood looking below

yes?

oh she wondered where the cuttings had come from

the hedge!

she stayed a while looking
i asked if she was ok
she said she was too hot

when i finished for the day
i looked over
she had lit her wood burner

we slept the night well
a new project here

the bicycle awaits

i drew trees too james
i like to draw each day
science says it changes
the brainwaves
and stuff

gradually things change
we move about and enjoy
the fine weather

the pear and elderflower cordial

james

birdy

or should i say 11 weeks
and i wonder what happens next

so the horses were in the long grass this morning
while the farmers still go to market

i ordered the oil sadly as the can has changed
and i did not recognise it yet
have old ones here and can decant
if i feel necessary

it feels necessary to hold onto memories
and to repeat myself

we do not have pastors here that i know of
there are vicar things and i do not know them

i know kindness and common sense
and i like new sandals

i guess i will not need to buy shoes
for the summer as i am not going
nowhere much

my trip to alnwick castle is cancelled of course
along with the others
a refund or a transfer?

most of the ivy is gone so i embark on a new garden
thing tomorrow

i knew it was eight o clock as the water men drive down the
lane to their depot which looks like a bomb shelter

james

met a lady from texas i think it was
norma jean

she says the lane is just like america

james

astonished

hurrah some of yesterday’s plan worked
hiding quiet that is and all went well right
through

the bike just sat quietly
will be dealt with another
day as i have no equipment
suitable
after all
and will rely on ebay

i understand the grants come in june
so it can all wait till then

is nice just to see it there
to see what comes

i drew the trees
the blur when walking
drifting in thought and revery

i sat on the warm grass
cursed the hedge while
starting a logistical plan

to lower it

to lower the level

of stress and interference
here

indoors for weeks and they still come in and get you
james

i like not having my hair cut
looks a mess yet at least is
not cut as the stylist demands

elderly

i saw her down the graveyard yesterday
tidying her parent’s spot. i was at my window

these things

splinters

a week ago i made my neighbour a tiny ladder
repayment for a kindness
left it by his door on the step

this morning it remains
where i placed it

perhaps he has not seen
it yet

or other things

thanks for your remote offer of help and support

the bike is free from storage & on the courtyard
washed and fiddled with
the pump is nowhere to be found
while the other one don’t fit

so except for a permitted trip to durham to buy one
i am buggered

the brakes is stuck
i need some oil

it will all wait a while

sat on it and maybe i shrunked

is been stored for 23 years
the other
the blue one i had since 17

blimey

so they look ferocious little fellers
guess we are all just trying to survive

i listened to a podcast and even that
virus thing needs the same and would
have learned more if i had not fell to

sleep
james

i just fell to sleep
from all the tasks
communications
& emotions of

another day
staying at home

on my own

walking i have found a house
that stands alone with a proper
garden with chickens you know
rather wild and rambling

i like the position yet know i belong
here, love it here. will hide away today

no drive anywhere to test my eyesight

steady like

oh james i have done that thing again
wishing for something i may already have

my old bike is in the outbuilding left there
some time
yet
i have a bicycle repair kit

as

i like to collect them

i understand there may be some grant soon
for fixing

i know how to oil as my brothers showed me
fastidiously and bossy

and something with spoons to remove the tyres

to balance it upside down on the handlebars

and saddle

what is to lose and it may be fun as the other

jobs have been here

oh dear you should of heard me yesterday
when he remarked
in surprise

you can dig a pond!
you can saw wood!

i replied i can as i am a person too

i did not add that in his mind i may not do them well
in my mind it works
for me

i gave him a bucket of stones

yesterday i made the hedgehog house with pallette
wood and twigs of course

the twigs that is

it kind of sorted itself out
now in comfort i will unpick
it to form it in a more controlled manner

my brother suggests i take the bike to durham
to be fixed as that may now be permissable

i think it is more fun just to stay at home james

tidily

another good number pleases me
as do the images

you are a dark horse
rather like louis

maybe you will do some more

i like this type of work from the heart
a quiet day yesterday planting and
fiddling the wildlife pool
sitting after to reflect

the head came later
while i could not
bear to watch the
briefing

it is all so unfair

slept for one hundred years
with classic lockdown dreams

now refreshed
carry on
james

we carry on
keeping the rules here

day started heavy as those adults used to say back then

i never understood

we had a storm, wind and some rain, now all hangs dark

and quiet

today i will repot the blown plants and tidy

do you write music? i like that you sent very

much

and will research more

the ride sounds divine, all that power

freedom and names of roads that come

lovely

here we made another ladder and now

i have too many

drew some pictures

and continued making the wildlife pond

i think i had been brainwashed into thinking

that some tasks were impossible yet find

i can do them after all

maybe i washed my brain myself

and now have got it back james

i ask again james are you a musician

do you sing while you ride the roads

over there

some of us obey the rules while it seems

that those who helped make them do not

birds and willow at the window

ate the last banana
not feeling good as
i did so

crossed them from the shopping list
and went to bed early

all well today and with another stormy
day forecast may leave the digging for
settled weather

the patch is under the big old oak which
***** wildly in this wind

i became slightly nervous looking up
at it
retreated to the studio

it will be a wildlife place
for the wildlife here

she used messenger to tell me
her messenger was not working

we sorted it by phone james

while writing i stop to look at
the light on the leaves, the light
outside

yesterday

i went outside to the garage
for fuel
in case of emergency
i like at least 2 bars
showing

wore my surgical gloves with pride
i don’t get out much these days

vivaldi helps

late spring
early summer

looking at the old bananas here yesterday
decided to make cake
rather than waste them

looks for a recipe
oh yes that will
do with oil

so **** the mashed bananas in the bowl
three with equal eggs
to find i have no oil

another recipe with margarine
when i only have spread…..ok

oh no, it states only
2 bananas
2 eggs

too late

this one is in metric
my scales are in imperial

another recipe
by then is all in the bowl

when i reads to cream the marg and sugar
too late i just bash the lot together and throw
in sultanas for luck

with the big silver spoon

lucky me

my oven is hot electric fan
the book goes gas, so guessing

works and that thing with a knitting needle

all came good, my first cake to eat for ten weeks
buns don’t count in this house

first cake made for years
to adhere to lockdown urban rules

ate with cream of course
then carried on with ladders

there was a storm in the night
water seeped through the bathroom
roof light
soaked the tissue

it is drying out on the radiator

james

no planes yesterday

seems soon to me
i have been isolated
ten weeks now and
waiting for news

from our first minister
not the prime minister

for we are another country

especially in this house
where all come quiet the
piano playing

where we come kind & welcoming

i wonder if i will go back
or draw a line on the madness

i talk to him regular about it and
he will like me to stay of course

who else will look after him not
throw him away

who else will mend his dress or
wash his pyjamas james

it was a joke
now comes serious

she said i can borrow her bike
she is taller than me james

so i fixed the water **** and down pipe
cussing the one that came before and
left it scrappy

got hot talked it through with logic

a professional would ******* the work
which seems to work

so far james

so far we have come
tomorrow i have a small celebration here alone

i wrote it down and refered to it later in the day

eggs over easy?

light rain

oh james i love this excitement
how we have become vocal with
few to hear

do you whoop and holler like
i do, do you laugh as the wind
goes by
as the smoke rises?

joy came yesterday up over the house

quietly choosing twigs by tone and colour
looked to the noise
dark with propellers it flew over low enough
to see cockpit clear
i turned to see it go
shouting up

happy and happy that earlier i saw the swallow
on the wire outside

happy that all the ******* burned
that the farmer will fetch me an old
car tyre

that the water **** is tight and tidy

now i shout and do not care who may hear
me

make my ladders
and will put one in
the neighbour’s post
box next tuesday
early

those that are kind to me

i asked her how far i walk each day
did she know
she said it was 253 miles james

do we believe her?

thirty miles is far to go these days
my calculations say i may walk 4 miles
each time, each day, unless i go twice
then it is doubled of course

so the rain came after i had cleared
from the hedge destruction

sorted the twigs

i find for each ladder
i like the same twigs
as he did

the hedge became another one in the collection
in this much longer sentence without pausing

there were two new horses in the field so i talked
to them and held out a finger, thought of louis

you will not remember him yet he was kind and
went down and the fence went down with him

they took him away

i think of him still

so the house by there belongs to a shepherd
and he done it up nice james

i remember it empy for years and us peering
through the windows imagining the history

pugh’s farm i hear

good to get out these days james
out in the air

i think of you sailing through with added power
and eternal connections

yes james it is a small white stone
colour so pure you can feel it

now the cotton creeps in the foreground

how do you know
about the prices here?

i find most things reasonable
yet then i don’t want much

like we shop in primarks for underthings
and overstuff

food comes in small prices
what i eat does anyhow

moving on
as you are now with the electrics

while mine are acting up in the outbuilding
and is all under discussion and research
out in the lane

he strimmed it severely then talked
to me kindly until she came out
with a broken zip
so they went in for tea

i killed the hedge i had hated
for 27 years then came quiety
inside smiling

i clear the debris today
james

they say it will rain
she said it is like glitter floating in the air

that it will die out

do you believe all the things you hear james
are you happy out there cycling along

i hope so
i like to think of it so

my times are up side over now james
while others sleep
do other things

i made another ladder
everyday i make a ladder
now

green by the window

waiting in the lower garden

for the groceries to come

cold so hood up thinking

looking at the mountain

looked round and there

he was visiting at a good

distance

laughing for me

i gave my sympathy for his loss

he said other relatives went this way

and good job he found her

anyway

he talked about folk in town

how the hospital is full of them

i knew nothing

been in for weeks

and those i see

talk about other

stuff like me

here we have at least

another few weeks

official

and the promise of furlough

until october if necessary

i like that word

i had burned all the stuff

and thought of you that

you can’t

i drew and made another ladder

one a day, sat on the grass among

the wild flowers

felt quite happy

then guilty for feeling

so with all that abounds

but i could not help it

i shall try sitting low again today

james

the sun came on me warm and

i understand your excitement

i share it with you

james

do you see the pattern so soon
do you see how we leave one set
of rules only to find another

this may have happened here
so we rest a while regroup move
forward slowly

like the metal soldiers
found in the button box
yesterday

bent, broken yet i straighten their
legs

and play again

i am real glad that your bike came
that it is all together and you are zooming
well

i imagine up over hills through the woods
you describe wind chasing your hair

can i come?

on the crossbar if there is one
or the handlebars
we did that as kids

or as tiny in your pocket james

i still dream of one james
yesterday the lane was busy

so i just walk along
moving to the nettles
as they pass

spurred on with your comment
i made another ladder james

while my neighbour tidied her lavender
edging

quietly

out twice yesterday james
and while down the back
road stepping out the police
drove by

did not stop
guess i look local

you see england are free to roam
free again and may roam over here
while
here they may not
as we cannot

it gets complicated
as do them ladders
now

the knots have to be just ways
and wet
to be tight enough, while nothing
is perfect nor should not be so

as to the delivery man i found it
interesting that i judged him faceless
character and demeanor

nothing hot here yet it is merely warm

i really hope the bike has come
and that all is well with you

today comes overcast with early wakings
and an insect at the window

james

mostly the same time daily

lovely all numbers relating to three

how good can it be

your bike coming today

and me a new washing

machine

the thing broke in half and blew the trip

he said he had never seen such a thing

me all over the place busy in the garden

i wrote the chaps notes on the slate

he came all masked and gloves

his air gave off confidence and

a handsome nature

i think he has now a beard yet

it was hard to see at such a distance

so i wore them old dungarees against

the ivy dust and felt happy the same

way my garden makes me happy now

who would have ever thought it

so your bike comes today

i have said it twice and i hope

it will all be well

later my plants were brought quietly

so i laid them out ready

and exclaimed over the blue

and made another ladder

i really hope your bike arrives today james

mellow magic

waiting in the lower garden

for the groceries to come

cold so hood up thinking

looking at the mountain

looked round and there

he was visiting at a good

distance

laughing for me

i gave my sympathy for his loss

he said other relatives went this way

and good job he found her

anyway

he talked about folk in town

how the hospital is full of them

i knew nothing

been in for weeks

and those i see

talk about other

stuff like me

here we have at least

another few weeks

official

and the promise of furlough

until october if necessary

i like that word

i had burned all the stuff

and thought of you that

you can’t

i drew and made another ladder

one a day, sat on the grass among

the wild flowers

felt quite happy

then guilty for feeling

so with all that abounds

but i could not help it

i shall try sitting low again today

james

the sun came on me warm and

i understand your excitement

i share it with you

james

came cold here
even walking hard
did not warm it

we wear our hood up
we think for warmth
yet it helps for thinking
and humming along
the track

went further
to the bell ringers place

later had my second walk
to see a differing light

shades of trees and all that surrounds

i drew them later
my way

could have done without a car
with all the changes required

now he says
not to use public transport
to go out, no don’t go out
stay home, no go to work

fortunately he is in england
i am in wales
where clearly
we still stay at home

information on cars is
always ratefully received
and valued

for i am no mechanic
though i can knit lovely james

and sew quite good too

james

early morning arrived

the ladder is just a make thing; i will just have it
presently in the garden while another is started
of twigs

if google has saved the image now
i will send it

in my mind i know others have done such things
each one comes different

if only all will understand that we are all different
and that is fine

the leaves became the trees and decided to stay
as minimal
on the same paper
as before

i understand your excitement
for i feel that i should be so
with maybe added trepidation
at the mechanics

of that and all things

i have a project under the hedge
grovelled about there yesterday

now have so much ******* need to
burn a fire
before

i clear much more

sixty is a good number
to be added and divided

so i hope the day comes good
even better than yesterday james

news breaks brings an alarm by mobile
to watch
yet i find
i come not bothered no more
it is just words again
while people die
while folk sew their
own ppe
cleverly

adverb

apparently

i made the ladder easily
with sticks and string
for decoration only

the plan today to go
small make more
and crawl under the hedge

pump the brakes
it may be that
that groans

then have my second walk per the day
perhaps about four
before
tea

thses things are written in the diary

james

she gave me plants, more than i expected

i gave her a pocket mirror

as barter

all i had since lockdown

planted in the heat

found more places to clear

another day

later i heard the sound

opened the doors

watched the rain

as if i had not seen water before

i heard the neighbour’s door

i guessed he watched too

before i had looked at the jug

full

as if i had not seen such a thing

before

i went out real early to avoid folk

met those

who had the same idea

it is the weekend

and i understand that many

ignored the rules and may

be expected in hospital soon

according to the news

i settled back with the geranium leaves

and liked what i drew

on one note of delight

i locked the studio tight

so the feeling may remain

today looks refreshed

damp slate

and newness

james

jazz piano

one project is comimg along nicely down the garden

ripping the ivy off the pigsty hair ******* from the dirt

eyeing the next task, preparing the mind on
one step at a time

so far we have come

me with that and the outside lav
her with a scullery
very retro chic yet
maybe is just that we have old houses

history

i diary tasks then let them stew so
ideas come for the doing

they call it logistics i think that sounds like maths

you possibly say math all singular james

the news came yesterday and she saw it live
while i was working

it hit me at two thirty that we get more freedom
to excercise from monday, more than once a
day

it hit me

thought i had been fine with it all
then the delight hit me hard………..

real hard james
so have diaried
that for monday
two walks

that diary
if you could see it
lists and tasks

numbers and notes

thoughts of the future
how things may change

may have to change james

twig ladder

 

notes:-

 

( he is a famous scuptor
lives in blaenau
i visited
eyed the ladders he made

how much are they?

how much !!

years later, years i tell thee

i plan to make one
myself )

james tell me more for i am interested
especially the lines

the sun is not true light
and the dead are not dead

as you know i am a realist
yet in some moments i
see things too

vortex
spinning trees

once i felt i saw him walk in the room
my mother saw him too

or were we dreaming
the need inventing

please tell me more

while here it is grey
hopefully the lanes will
be quiet. for after writing
to you
i walk an hour

our allotted time
hopefully we may
get extra
for some evenings
i feel the need to
walk again

i thought maybe if the bottom hedge
were cut severely lower i can keep it
tidy myself
i am too short to reach the top

then i thought harder
and found my dungarees i bought from
the surplus over 30 years ago

hope to wear them
while working

james

do tell me more
i can keep things
private

you know me by now

it were a lovely day yesterday & yes
i mean the weather & though out freaking
early so were the others

she was having tea by the door we smiled
and waved

the farmer came his dog balanced on the feed bag
at the back

was that yesterday or another, the days merge
& i find it quite lovely

the duck was a teal with seven little ones
the real ducks were a flying formation
one left alone trying to catch up

planes flew over in clean air
i looked up

i looked at the picture perfect robin
perching cute on items of its choice

while each of the bird houses are
occupied while the corvid attacks
the plastic one bought for fun

each day, each day is nearly the same

while i like it
he thought
i may be depressed
what do you think james

i often get things wrong too
that is why i do not believe
what i thinks
no more

all in lower case
5+5=10
1=0 = 1
see