(april 2020)

..day 37..
took the car out yesterday
five weeks on the drive as
i laughingly call it here

bit of a track with steps
up to the church behind

my journey was non essential
the only breaking of rules so

far
no not far
just to blast the engine. nothing
on the road except my neighbour

in his pickup tied with string

no one in authority
stopped me
and it felt like the best thing
ever yesterday

until hood up and over i watched
the live stream

then laughed so much with messages
i phoned and we laughed some more

together
despite
to spite

the trouble

yet
the worry remains
horribly yes so horribly
horrible

(april 2020)

..day 36..

i find i have built a cocoon, a nice place to be
shielded
yesterday was interupted by reality a while

& failed early
busy i was

drawing the japanese with their found fabrics
watching the marks come good, no smudging
intended
yet it came
without warning

you see there is not such a thing
not like in the war there were sirens

they still tested them down the end
of our road when i was a child & I
listened in wonder & was afraid

then

there were the stink poles outside
too and up the hill a big chimney
where they burned the waste

there are two of them as there often
is
reflecting each other yet
spot the difference

they say there may be spots too
i went once with those like in comic
red dots all over

he said it was an immune reaction &
i still get two on bad days

we talked about that yesterday
immunity responses & other
guidance

so james i wearied early with it all
talked about the goats up the crimea
slept well
know that
this is a another day

(april 2020)

.day 35..

came like the others
early we walked up

over the golf, the hills
done first. to the top

where the swallow flew
reconnecting

she said it was all downhill
and so it was, we could have
walked for hours yet
we only get one you see

i stick to the rules
as i am a ****, do
as i am instructed

except the iron railings
syndrome

have you heard of that
james
did you do it over there
too

we loosened the work
and i felt it came bad
then shh-apes on twitter
liked it very much not
knowing why really

and retweeted it as
some do, so i thanked

and will carry on

christopher brought the groceries
thought i lived in the church, that is
a laugh
really

so i spent time washing the oranges
with soap

and the other stuff
then scrubbed myself
clean and wondered

james

i remember the polio jab &
having tb tests, the jelly one
was ok, the other one hurt like
hell

i never reacted so did not get
the scar that came from that

that messed with summer arms
that was like a branding

friday
a full list
of chores
you know

(mid april 2020)

.day 34.

on looking at todays work
i see the spots are appearing
when sprayed
with cosmetic fixative
glow pink

yesterday i picked ivy from the wall
of the outbuilding. i do a little each
day
so my fingers
dont bleed

this is satisfactory
pleases me and

moves the work into a new area
the doors are painted badly now
in tune with music
from the films in
tune with the times

yes money gets tight here
so some shops & charities
give food
and other sundries

today i plan to walk ,to clean
the outside lav and maybe
you will have to google that
as i had to google your noodles

james

the drawings have come stiff again
with all this time we have at home
so i need to move them into a place
of loose adjustment
of random offerings
and sketchy lines
james

with face masks
james

i think it is thursday
when
my food delivery arrives
asda

it is a tiny tiny thing

they say it is the enemy

and evil



i wonder



when you think how  animals are treated

enslaved, hunted, squashed

& i bet they are glad we are indoors a while



yet it continues as essential

we think we own them

and imprison them



inseminate, take their babies

**** them and eat them as

essential



my mother said

what goes round

comes round



i guess the abattoirs are still open

as essential



it is a tiny tiny thing

hoping to survive

like us

like the coral

like all things

(mid april 2020)

..day 32..

started off cold yesterday james
yet i got warm after pounding up
the hill on the new walk
to discover the sky

for sky there was and bluebells

remember how i rubbed her back
with the perfume to help the pain

now he is 5 feet four inches already

i marked it on the wall in absentia
ensured the other labels, the other
years were secure
some with sticky
some with pins

of course

later we wondered about the new
colour for the gate
with all the stores closed
i decided on yellow
as that is the only colour
i have

oh unsuitable paint you
covered lovely with no
comments as all are at
home

as advised

later cut up the little pictures
to start the change in imagery

with the blue scissors
that are too modern
for the house so live
in the studio

categorised

leonard cohen plays
soft light
water heater on

it is a tiny tiny thing



1a

( mid april 2020)

.day 31.

later here as i chatted to a friend
who commented that i am up early

reminded him therefore he is early
too to respond

the stone walls are everywhere, old crumbling
some rebuilt recently
one down the lane
i watched him a while

found some old bits of stuff
in the debris, plates and metal bits
and kept them

he pointed at my broken wall, slumping
said he can fix it if it goes and
i thought that i shall probably be gone
by then too
and save the expense

so the walls line my walk all the way
and back, in the distance follow up
over the hills, the mountains

in the cwm are made of slate off cuts
differing colours pertaining to the
region

like old grey teeth edging the path,
the field fastened by wire

do you know them james
do you have them there

we have slate quarries up the road,
down the road, some not working
no more

yesterday the police were called
to gloddfa ganol, to people
misbehaving in the lockdown

i place markers on the wall
i wonder if folk notice james

it does not matter though
as i notice

he said to be careful that these things
we do never become a chore for
us

i realise now it is my issue
not theirs

there is a lad on a bike rides
these lanes most days
eats pancakes after

he says he can gain 5 pounds
in one day

really, oh really

monday ( holiday)
if i stay quiet i can hear a lot of things

imagine a lot of things



1111