The rain makes your
veins look like
dark black bra straps
underneath a veil of Topshop sale items-
the bangles were bought elsewhere.
Though it's not their size that worry me,
it's what look lives within your eyes
every time you run a finger up your arm
and back down your arm again;
the charm in your slightly curling autumn leafed smile
curls a little more, turning smooth lakeside skin
into Nile-esturay wrinkles that say save me Tim.

Your red delta cheeks pulsate
in the late afternoon sun coming in on
a diagonal through the newly installed,
doesn't quite close properly, velux window;
you ran through fields only
to end up teary eyed in the kitchen
doorway threshold.

But here, here is where your river 
meets my sea, and turbulent tides
swell up to ferry us away to new coastline
continents:
forget we ever swimmed and swam,
poured sand from our shoes,
held hands and ran, and
forget we held hips on train station steps,
shared lips, left and then hid.

*When you see this you'll know it's an apology

There once was a squirrel named Nutty
Who was looking for a little buddy
But Nutty was alone
So he burned down his home
With himself inside of it

If every word I wrote to you
Could make you love me more
I'd write you a novel every day.
And then maybe,
By the end of our days,
You'll love me as much as I love you

Do you remember our first date?
You wore a black T-shirt, running a bit late.
You had a head full of hair and glasses,
I swear you were my first real crush.
It was a little too much.
I had you ask my Dad if I could go,
'Cause I was too nervous he would say no.
We wanted to watch Saw II but got rejected.
We were too young, and the theatre by default selected
That we'd watch "Chicken Little" the only other movie they showed,
At our town's little theatre, we passed by the Skittles,
And watched the show in quiet excitement.
Then we waited for our rides, and feeling resentment,
Listened to the end credits of the movie we'd rather have seen,
If only we were eighteen.
It was a song we liked called "Burn the Witch,"
We sang along and smiled, feeling enriched by each other's presence,
We knew this was Heaven.
We didn't kiss or cuddle,
We may have hugged, and that would have settled.
It was a teenage bliss,
Excitement, nerves, wants that would someday be satiated,
But even now that I have with you all of this,
Marriage, and ***, and a morning kiss,
I look back on our first date when we were kids,
And know everything we ever did
Was a result of that fearful question,
"Do you want to go on a date?"
And yes, I did.
I would all over again.

Loving*
                               is
                                                                ­  too
                                 *mainstream
                but
                                ­                being
                                                                ­                  loved
                                                               back
                                                is
                                                                ­                     not.