I know it was just a movie, and the scenes and the music tug strings in ways we don't always feel in everyday life. But I'm not crying about the movie. I'm crying because you're here with me and I'm thinking about you. I'm crying because I feel the same way about you that he feels about her, and I want you to know that and to never forget it. And because I don't want it to end. I don't want our lives to end, and I know they will someday. Maybe I'll feel differently somehow when we're aged and we don't have all this energy anymore. Maybe I'll be ready for my life to end when I'm old and slow and sick and I can barely breathe, or my whole body aches all the time and someone has to take care of me like I'm a baby again. But I don't think I'll ever be ready to stop loving you.

I have tried for too long
to fit into your various segments
I have played the roles of
Christian
Passionate lover
Rebellious son
The perfect one-night stand
Intelligent workplace hero
Humble soccer talent
Competitive PC gamer
College graduate, master's holder
Friend with benefits
Big earner
*** addict in recovery
Devoted husband
Home updater
Fun party guy
Deep-thinking poet
Music-lover, dancer

I fit into none of the roles you have to offer.

I am a primate with a more sophisticated brain and a cleaner body. I declare this with reluctant disappointment.

An observer would see our race developing, bodies and populations increasing in complexity and order; patterns like cities, data flowing through fiber cables, and social constructs aligning like carbon atoms becoming a diamond.

But we will not reach the perfection of a lab-created stone.

We have significant inclusions,
The most glaring of which is purposelessness.

Is there anyone watching?

Memories
fade in and out
between sobs

The present
fills in the gaps

We only have so long to remember

Will there be anything more than this?
Will I have another chance?

I begin to walk across the field,
feeling the texture of the grass

Will she join me in another place?
Will she do without me?

I'm across the field,
but I want to cross it again

Every time
I think I've
learned something
about myself,
I find out
the opposite
may be
just as true

I'm afraid even if
you stared me in the face,
I'd miss it,
or if I did see who you are,
I'd still hate you

The thoughts that have
conjured in my mind
these last two years,
and the feelings that have
transpired in my chest,
have left me to hate you

Yes, even you,
the imagined one I desire

You've got it all, somehow
Yet you will disappear
So I choose to hate you
Instead of losing you

Dead tired before midnight,
Feeling like an old man
I hold onto this screen
To keep myself awake and sane
It's something of a safety blanket,
Don't you think?

Blues echo around inside
I'm inadequate to handle
The weight of tomorrow
If I fall asleep,
It'll be here now
If I lay awake,
I can delay it an hour

I want to know what it's like
To have your undivided attention