I'm a different person than I was a few years before.
I may be a different person again in a few more.
But what does it matter?
I am an animal.
I react to my surroundings.
My will is limited.
I make observations.
I contemplate my own existence.
But one lonely day,
I pass away the same as a dog.
I'm missed by a few,
but not for long.

We watched the fire
Rain fell
And you remembered the fire
You lived through a dozen years ago

Your experiences pent up,
They don't come out often
But after several drinks
Among people you've begun to trust,
You can tell your stories

We know you're not sure
How you feel about them,
But I can tell you
I'm no fan of cruelty

Beneath your
Uncertain reverence
Of those days,
I think there's anger
At the humiliation you faced

And one layer deeper,
There's hurt
Over the goodness you lost

I hear it in your hesitation
Each time you bring something out
You know it's not quite right,
And I know you're kind inside

Heal, friend
You're worth having around

Your catch phrases don't do ****
Listen to my heart,
Then look me in the eye
And tell me your best one
I'll laugh,
Then I'll cry
I'll break something
And one day I'll die

All the music you loved made my heart ache
The classic rock anthems,
Dead singers with vintage sound
Drew in my mind the parties of old
Days gone by, couples who've passed
Drugs they did,
Ignorance they spewed;
Peace is lovely,
But life is more complicated
Than your small, narrow mind

But I went on
I tried to fall in love
And I succeeded
In poisoning myself without drugs
Poison, your ex's word that stuck in your mind
But my poison wasn't you;
It was falling in love...
With a gentle heart,
A pair of pretty eyes,
Soft skin and soft touch,
A smile and a laugh

No, it was the music you loved
I hated it in my heart
I despised what it glorified
I am too empty,
And too mindful thereof,
For it to fill me

And I will wake up to that truth soon enough
With the music I now love
I'm getting bored already
When I don't have any drugs

I saw you across the way
My breath taken, I could barely approach
Your gaze spoke,
"There's hope yet"
I knew the rules of the game;
I wouldn't take you home that night
You were more than a one-time show
So I held my breath until it was right
We connected, and you were mine
But to my surprise, the hope then died
The search began again
As I left you behind

Do you want to hear the music I'm listening to today?

Would you like to hear how I feel about drugs?

I'll tell you what keeps me awake at night

About my divorce, addiction,
one-night stands, non-
breakups that destroyed me,
and whatever else is tattered inside

You can hear it in my tone:
that I don't like myself
And, sure, I'll tell you with my voice

And your heart will call out for mine

But it can't hear you
And it won't speak to you

I don't like life today,
and tomorrow I won't, either
I rarely bother to write about it anymore

The over and over pounding
—head against head—
Can the nail go in any further?

Maybe.
Maybe if I think some more,
I can find something new in the muck

Or maybe I continue to sift
because the grime is familiar,
and to find something new
would ruin the whole experience

I could go for being ruined

Don't turn me inside out
before you throw me in the dryer
I want you to see my cracks when I'm done