Whispers ring in my ears,
There is the faintest ghosting of claws along my back,
I shudder, gasping for a hope of self respect.

I watch them,
Perfect little pair.
Holding hands and sending covert smiles,
No lip touches and nuzzling,
Just being close.
They're absolutely flawless in how awful they are.

You know...
She drove four hours from maryland alone,
To see her...
And you won't even drive an hour to come see me...
Or return my messages...
Or tell me how you've honestly ever felt.
And yet?
You still tell our friends about how in love with me you are...

I listen
To your blood
Drip down the drain
Defussing into
Salty sorrow.

One more night like this,
Two more,
Three,
And I just pray
Someday that you'll be okay.

Years are revisited
As I bury myself in snow
And listen to the cries of the ******.

I watch the places
Where your funeral pyre lied,
And whimper, wishing I was superman.

There used to be a fear in me,
A fear to let people in, or love anyone,
Because as soon as I dared don a title, everyone ripped from my fingers.

But I'm older now,
I've truely fallen in love,
And been set ardently aflame,
Writhing in the agony that made me.

I have scorched away my mind's youth,
Trading it for browned flowers and hushed internet history,
I am so fervently alive it hurts.

But?
Winter came and
Stole everyone and everything,
Freezing your goregous minds and open hearts.
I watch you all fall like flies,
Just leaping for a chance to die.

I hold you hands close to my chest,
Wishing you all knew that you've made an athiest pray,
And how dearly my world, and the world, needs you.

And for now
Must we suffer
Another night?
Never so far have I
Denied that I am glad I made a choice,
Although I still think of you every day

We were hurricanes
Engraved in desert sand
Begging to be
Brought home.

I wish
To be close to you
Forever?

I wish
For gentle whispers
And touches
Forever.

I wish?
To be by
Your side?

I wish
I wish a simple wish
To die a dreamers death.

I want nothing more than to die by your side.

I wish?
To be reborn
By your side
Or as your heart
Twins?

You know whats funny?
In the middle of the night,
when everyone I love,
and the few I trust,
are far away,
sleeping sound;
I still think of you.

When I'm thinking of all those people,
while I shock myself through another panic attack,
or late night sadness,
I know there is no one to call to,
but still I think of you.

I think of the wishes and regrets,
secret pains,
things I wished I'd lied about so you could've spent the night;
I think of you.
I think of the comfort you offer,
or I should say,
offered.

And all the promised warmth makes the cold seem more chilling,
and I freeze.

I feel the race in my veins,
the pain in my skin,
I'm vibrating,
enlivating,
you're in my head,
under my fingers.
I'm sky high,
lips dry,
You're drug #2.