Though we cherish our good memories
in the brightest parts of our mind,
it is the bad ones
hidden in the crevices
that take up the most space
in our minds
The ones we play on repeat
day after day
searching through the sadness
for something
to explain the feelings we hold
The ones that seem to swallow us whole whenever we are left alone
in the solitude
of our minds
If the good memories are kept so dearly,
why can we never escape
the grief we hide
so carefully
in our minds

Truth is
every time
I remember
you exist
in the same world
as me
I become lost
a spiritual sickness
closing in
I cannot breathe
I cannot move
I wish you were here
but
I wish you were gone

All at once
It all happened
and I’m scared of how exactly
I will go on to handle
each and everything wrong
In my life
and with you as my constant.
I’m afraid to push too hard
and send you away
farther than before
But maybe I'm over thinking
as I do when I'm afraid
I’m sorry if I sound like I'm losing my mind
I guess I never knew the essence of friendship
or true love
until the risk of losing it
was ****** before me

Faster now
The window blurs
and the rain
grey and somber
All alone
the train goes on,
but here
In my seat
looking out
In the rain
All slows down
to each steady breath
I close my eyes
and pretend
It really is
as I hoped
Wishing time went as slow as the rain
While the train speeds on
and my tears
falling at a slower pace
I look forward
and time
slows down

I once fell in love
in the bustling train station
with the endless stream of people
The carts rushing past
The trains struggling to match the anxious speed of those around them
Here
I see faces
kind
sad
worried and ecstatic
If only for a moment
I share with them
and just
like love itself
brief and beautiful
an instilled moment of nirvana
and then
with the crowds
It ends
leaving on the next train
out of town

I have never finished
anything
I have no accomplishments
or set goals
so why am I
laying down in bed
bathed in the warm glow of candlelight
all alone
smiling to myself
How is it I can go day by day
laughing louder
and walking slower
than the driven man
Perhaps the answers cannot be found
in your goals or possessions
but in self satisfaction
I am aware I exist
amongst friends
family
and unique individuals
I will pass every day
and that in itself
Is enough.

Holding on
to those we love
exposes absolute weakness
as a pure surrender of the soul
To entrust your entirety
in another
is so marvelous
so delicate
to believe
another human
can take all of you
hold on
and never
ever
let go
Such a promise
we so willingly make
to those we cherish most
reminds me
of how beautiful we are
How miraculous can the universe be
allowing us to see the whole world
in other human being
in a personal
paradise.