Has it really come to the point
where the raising of your voice
brings forth no fear
the words forced out
wont cause me to flinch
and the idea of you walking away
doesn't make me panic
like it did
so many months before

Maybe my emotions
have been used up
to the point of where
I can’t feel
or maybe I just lost sight
of what I really need

Then again
maybe you did.

I wish I hadn't emotionally invested myself
in anyone who could make me smile
believing every word said
and falling apart every time they left

I know the older you get
tends to change the way you see people
as much as that terrifies me
beyond belief

If only I could stay naive
and love all those around me
without getting hurt
every time
Instead of growing up
to watch the ones I love
drift farther away

Truth be told

It took me 18 years
to learn how to swallow my pride
and apologize
to those I have done wrongly by
whose feelings I hurt
and whose opinions I overlooked

It also took me 18 years
to learn that taking all the pain
wasnt mandatory
that instead of being broken down
and fixing myself up again
I had the option
to walk away

It may have taken me
nearly 2 decades
of wasted years
but at least now
I can finally
live.

It hits me hard
like a brick wall
crushing me inside out
enveloping my body
with each mighty blow

Sorrow is the horrible truth
to my existence
and recovering
from each time
It forcibly knocks me down
Is my own cross to bear

I walked away.

I am my own worst enemy
for continuing
to keep you close
torturing myself
with your images
and our fondest memories
whenever I feel the slightest form of love
It seems
as time goes on
It only gets harder
because I’m over here
  
                                    and you’re over there.

Nothing brings more bliss
than being warm and inside
on a cold winters eve
sipping tea
all alone

None to impress
None to share with

The sweet simplicity of being alone
but never lonely
of silence
that brings no sadness
of spacious slumber
that isn’t longing for another
and believing
that one day
all work out
as it should

I suppose waiting
for the minutes to go by
wont make them go
any faster
I should be putting my time and energy
to better use
than what I am
now

Waiting until you are ready
may have me waiting forever
when my time comes
and if my time comes
Hours will continue their pace
slow and steady

Foolishly siting here
waiting for my time to come
when time passes by just the same as yesterday
today
and tomorrow
Before long
It’ll be
too late.

I could go on writing for years
filling every page
from front to back
with every thought I ever had
and every word I never spoke

I could write symphonies
for the moments worth living for
The smiles
that brightened the day
and the laughs
that ring though the night

I could paint all the stars from the sky to the heavens above
the sparkling sapphire lakes
and the rolling emeralds hills
that grace the land
we share
as one

But what good is it
when all I could do
and all I would do
is completely meaningless
without you