I will not unlock the door
to stand and face
the demon you’ve become
allowing you
to take over my mind
whenever you please
I will not unlock the door
and allow myself to be humiliated
becoming your target once again
Your screams can be blocked
The endless banging on the door
holds no purpose to me

Stand there all you want
You will never possess me

I will not unlock the door.

Days make this body
so frail
so weak
as colours lose their vibrance
and soon
I can hardly stand

What can the future hold
for my sickness
Will there be sunny days ahead
running,jumping and singing
hugs,kisses and hellos
I can bear no more goodbyes

With my medicines close
and the frost at my window
I dream of light
and a body not my own
capable of so much more
of all I hope to do
and a future set in stone

As my fragile self sleeps
I dream of life
beyond

Physical existence is painful
To those who feel they burden
Everyone around them
As if every inhale
every word uttered
Every step taken
is just an annoyance
and should be apologized for
A life like this could even be considered no life at all

What is it that makes us keep going
despite believing so deeply
that to go on would be a grave mistake
Perhaps we are cowards
afraid to leap off the beautiful buildings
closing in around us
or we feel unworthy
for even in death
we hold no grace

Burdens we are,
we are born every day
likely to go on with time
All we can ever hope for
Is that we will change
with time itself

I cant recall the words
I said to you before
nor can I promise
It was all falsely said

I have forgotten
the colour of your eyes
the length of your hair
your smile
and I fear
you have forgotten me too
and I’ll always be here
thinking of all
I should have said

If you find the time
when days are still
and all your worries
begin to feel
like they are not so bad,
Remember me kindly
as I
will remember you

It was never about
falling in love
was it
It was about how fast
and how effectively
you could fall
out of love
in case he hurt you
and you know
that pain well
don’t you
You know that love
is the ultimate surrender
and you will not fall willingly
this time.

I told her my thoughts travel
with the changing breezes
and shifting tides

Nothing stayed for long in my world
all that surrounded me was a mass of confusion and chaos

She asked me what was permanent
Not the memories
the people
the buildings
not even myself
Then why should I continue this useless life
knowing nothing lasts forever
why should I coexist with all
that can never stay

That is when
she looked into my eyes
and asked me to try
and that
was all it took

I’ve been trying for her
ever since

Your letters have begun to clutter up my desk
your belongs have taken up my bookshelves
and now your image has filled all parts
of my mind
How sad of me
to keep repeating old conversations
adding new words I wish I had said
and to still walk the long way home
we used to take in the spring to see the flowers
and to prolong the inevitable goodbye
How sad of you
to say goodbye
How sad of me
to refuse to believe that time will continue
long after you had left me