You can hate me for not saying I love you. You can hate me for not being able to express things the same way you do. You can hate me for the way I do things. You can call me a pathetic *****, a coward, worthless. Go ahead. I’ve probably heard it a thousand times and I started believing it a long time ago. Go ahead and insult me, my music, the way I talk, walk, breathe, live. Go right ahead and be my guest.

Go ahead and go to her, we all know she’s funnier, prettier, and she’s not a total ******* loser like me. That’s cool. It’s not the first time, everyone prefers her. Some people actually see who the better person is in all aspects - hint hint, it’s not me.

Go back to not thinking I exist. Forget my existence.

"Pathetic *****"
Words tend to stick in your mind
Whether it's someone you know
or someone you barely know
"*****"
"****"
Some things haunt me
stick like glue
sometimes they don't bother me,
but most times, they just stick in me like a knife
Invisible scars
Honestly shouldn't bother me
but it does
"I don't trust you"
I don't blame you
There's always been a part of me
that wants to say something,
defend myself
but I don't,
I never do,
I never say a thing,
Just keep quiet and walk away

It's crazy how soothing
something cold and metal can be
on burning hot palms
and a shaky mind
how much comfort just a necklace gives
it's sad
that this is how I calm

It's sad that when music hits my ears
It doesn't help me anymore...
It's still my escape,
but no longer my peace of mind
I don't think I have a peace of mind anymore,
I think I messed myself up

It's sad that I believe every word
that's said about me
It's sad I can't go out without a jacket often
nor can I walk with my eyes
not watching my feet
drag across linoleum
It's sad my self esteem is non-existent
It's sad that people want to die.
It's sad that sad exists

It's funny what you remember about people
Their favorite colors,
their favorite songs,
what made them smile,
what made them laugh
the sweet things they said
what they got passionate about,
what they talked about at two in the morning
when no one else listened

It's funny how you remember how their hair fell in their face
and how their hoodie always hung
and the way they shuffle their feet when they walk,
and puff out their cheeks slightly in stress
how they got *******
the way they talk
the way they could be a mess

It's funny that you remember things about people
that don't seem to matter
but you love them,
and miss them
It's sad that you remember people, really.
It's sad that you can't forget
and oh so easily move on
it's sad that a lot of times you don't even want to

How does it end up
in sadness
bruises
****-ups,
and tears,
and hatred from so many different ways?

How does it end up
the same endings
the same songs
the same numbness
the same sleepless nights
the same regrets

How does it end up
with two hearts torn
and one hated
and one with intense regrets
and no way to fix it
it shouldn't have happened at all

Scrolling absentmindedly
Eyes unfocused
mind not on what I'm seeing on the screen
pain in my chest,
a burning like hell in my throat
regret slowly slicing my soul
So much to say
not even worth it to say,
nothing even matters anymore,
what's the point?
I wish everyone would forget me
that I exist
Anything I've ever said,
done,
thought.
Because it's all ****** up.
It shouldn't have happened
I shouldn't have happened

God, do I wish I had a way to turn back time
get a rewind
replay all the memories,
change a lot of things.

Every time I hugged him,
I think of you.
I glance at where you sat,
without realizing,
and an overwhelming sense of sadness engulfed me

I wish I could change time,
I wish I wouldn't have done those things,
I wish I wouldn't have ignored you,
chose someone that's going to hurt me,
wish I still felt good enough for you,
wish I didn't think I deserved to be hurt,
and I'm sorry for all of these things,
and if I had one chance,
I'd redo it all.
From August to March.
I'd fix everything I've done.
I'd save you from the explosive one.

I regret everything
with all of my heart,
and all of my soul.

I keep thinking of you,
and your kisses,
your hugs,
and the words we shared,
I remember the fights,
I remember falling in love with you
I remember
I remember hurting you
I remember holding hands across my yard,
I remember the first time I went to your house
I remember when you started talking to me
I remember my ex girlfriend hating you..
I remember.
If I could change all of the hurt
all of the pain
all of the fights,
all of the regret,
I would,
in less than a heartbeat,
and if it killed me,
I wouldn't care.
If it wasn't hurting you.