Face entwined in plastic lines,
Neck of twine and foggy mind.
This air is mine, as time declines
I feel okay, I feel alright
As pain and panic climb up high.
My lungs constrict and
Twiggy arms twist;
Tied behind, restricted movement
I can feel myself slip,
This is it, this is it
My body rejects but gives in.
Muted gasps play behind music,
I feel okay, I feel sick
Then suddenly it rips,
And my tongue tastes air of ****
Withered lungs savor it, as
Bittered buds cry with spit.
No tears emit from judging eyes,
No 'why's or cries, just familiar quiet.
I'm fine, I'm fine just leave me in silence.

I could never do anything right.

Caught
Distraught
Endured the pain for naught
Escape is my godly crutch
Into eyes my fingers push
Make me blind from all that hurts
Failure.
Failure
Failure.
Reel away this deadly lure
Let me swim in the unfamiliar
Just give me something good for once
This pain, this pain I've had enough
Don't clutch my thoughts
I've given up.


Trying so hard to feel god's touch
He eludes me every time
So suffer I must
With sickly mind anchored in dust
My arms too weak to pull it up
I strain to feel some happiness
To love the burn of sunlight's kiss
The moon pulls tides of negative
High, in my skull where demons live
Under waves of complete darkness

I'll find the light
I'll try to live
Coax my aching legs to kick
Move my weak body to swim
Until the tides have given in.

I'm sorry you had to see me so pathetic
Squirming so hectic
I regret it, I regret it
I'll ignore the pain that bores
Beneath eyelids
I'll give myself to the light
And hope I find it

I'll let myself curl up and die
When my body and time decides.
Innately, following Mother's lines.

I could never do anything right.

You weren't supposed to come home tonight.

-SLuR

The moon, it calls me,  
I wake inside of a dream.
My desires in reach.

-SLuR

I called out to the world
Distraught, frantic, searching.
Something awoken in you,
A resonant note,
Found deep in your core.
I called again, and the music
Stirred inside of you.
Responding to my vibrations,
You called back to me
With want.
A longing and determination
That was somewhat melancholic,
Teetering on the edge of desperation.
I kept my call constant
As you sang to me,
Both of us searching for the other
Trying to pinpoint our spirits
In the world's sound waves.
As we got closer
Our desperation began to rise
Like a boiling sun,
Burning us with desire.
We called out to each other
Faster, louder, synching our
Fragile loneliness
Until we found one another
Our souls, like two fishes
Swimming, dancing together
Twirling around in the air
Creating a beautiful melody.
Then we entered each other,
You absorbed me, and I you.
A harmonious collision,
That no power could sever
For our souls have always been
Tethered.

-SLuR

You smile in my memories and live in my aching heart,
Though miles separate our skin, we’ll never be apart.
You run throughout the canals of my restless brain,
Thoughts of you cloud my head, and stain me in their rain.
I want to be an angel wiping demons from your back,
Perched upon your shoulder, guarding you from their attack.
I’ll listen to your sorrows, and whisper comfort in your ears
Softly, like the wind that plays upon your chocolate hair.
I miss you like the ocean crying to the waning moon,
The tides in my veins pull and push me towards you;
Watching as the sky gets darker, I’m scared to see you fade
I hope I’ll have a chance to see happiness shine on your face.

-SLuR

Oh darling, let me take you to the land where the sunflowers crawl at night, stalking their nomad star. Let us bathe in petal rain, lying in a field that blooms with beating hearts. I long to feel your burning touch; melt away my skin, absorb my puddle of love. Let's run away to the world where the moon pulls on our blood. Stirring tides inside of veins, creating tsunami waves. I crave to feel your pulse; crash into me- erode, the lonely that creeps inside the curbs of my skull. I'll take you to the place that curves into the unknown. Let's dance in outer space, as our seams rip and we explode. I'll fall into a hole, if you water me and grow, a smile that you love to show. A smile my lips would love to know. Oh darling, let's follow the sunflowers and chase that nomadic star, wishes don't exist unless you believe that they are- that they do. I'd beg death to be with you. The sky is just a tomb made of a thousand twinkling souls. Burning just to tell you that I want to be close.

While you're snoring
I'm leaning against the wall
Listening to music-
Slightly Stoopid
'cause I might be too, even
Though I was good in school.
Where's my proof?
When I'm sitting her aloof
To life, and focusing on strife
My brain's playing
With throwing knives
I'm running out of lives
If I could get my score as high
As I'll be before we die
I could get another try
Always practicing my hand-eye
Coordinating my "please, may I's"
Focusing on your **** lies,
Chaining myself to my own mind.
If I spent half the effort that
I put into words, drawing figures;
Creating things of no worth.
Then maybe, I'd be worth it
Just enough for you to focus
On the fact that I'm a person
And inside I'm hurting-
A reflection,
Of your own dejection
A friendly reminder
That we all face rejection
Searching for some form
Of heaven.
I'd make you happy again,
At least I'd try to make you laugh
Hold your hand, if you'd hold mine back
But you'd smoke my heart like crack.
Blame me for your heart attacks.
This is just another stupid rant
When my dreams are out of reach
Away from my grasp
Which is always.
My body just works like that,
I could lay in the darkness
And quiet
With closed eyelids,
But always an open mind
Just can't shut those blinds
My thoughts tend to slow time
Stretching night over the morning
That never seems like it's coming
But I can feel it running-
Down my leg.
Like the sharpness of a
Razor blade.
Blood is warmer than your touch,
Welcomes me with a little love.
You never give me goosebumps,
My heart had never jumped,
We just use each other like bums
For drugs and a quick ****
Indulging the dirtiest of thoughts
Along the way we just got lost.

-SLuR

Hello, my name is Sarah
And I like to write.
Last night my wife
Caught me in bed with a pen.

"How could you do this?
We've a house and three kids!"
Red ink, dripping off my fingertips
I gave them a lick and claimed
"It's not what you think."
But she could see the proof
Written clearly on the sheets.

She cried, through mascara eyes
Blubbering about love and how it died
And I chimed with the I tried and lies,
How I wasn't satisfied with the path of our life
She knew words were my *****,
My own personal vice.
So easy to change- to manipulate
I could take all of my pain,
Reword it inside my brain
And for a moment feel like I'm not insane.

Now she's throwing the blame,
And I'm the one that has to catch it
Boy, she's got great aim
Hasn't missed a shot yet.
Just one little slip and I'm hit
With the biggest bullet

"Get out of my house
And don't come back again,
This is the last time I'll ever find you in bed with a pen."

-SLuR

The atoms that make up my body are particles of dirt,  
The wind swept me away, now I'm particularly hurt.
Adam was the snake and Eve was the tree;
We're the worm left wriggling between teeth.
My rib cage gives birth to insects and palpitations
While my brain *******, quietly with anticipation
Keeping thoughts hidden in old socks and between sheets,  
Pain, a private pleasure meant only for-  
Me and my delicate expectations, shatter upon *******  
With religious dedication. Probe the world in its delicate place,
Where time ceases to exist and life has been erased.

-SLuR

Thoughts of a body
Of water, flowing through me,
As the call of nature rings.
Birds sing and bees sting,
Butterflies flap their wings.
Rhythm comes so naturally,
Instinctively, like remembering
To breathe- heavily, like rain
Dripping off the window panes.
Locked up like we're insane,
Speaking,
With tongues and bodies
A language, beautiful and innate.

Pure ecstasy.

-SLuR

The spiders come out to play
Only to run away,
I wish they would stay. Stay, stay
Please don't leave. I like it here under heavy gravity, where I can't feel under all of this pressure. I'm numb and can't remember the sensation of being dismembered. Intense hatred burns in embers, reborn from ash a happiness lingers staining smoking fingers. Here I feel hole- of body, mind, and soul; wholly decomposed, do you hear the angel's holy notes? Oh... No? I must have been mistaken, on my bed there lies an ocean so perhaps 'twas siren's temptation? I hear a voice so gently weave a longing- a need, betwixt emotions of pride and greed. My mind is kissed with inconsistencies, laughing as I weep. To pain, this brain is a fiend; please, take it out of me. I swear I take these to fall asleep, not to feel spiders crawl across my face and through my guts, only to disappear when I look- to evade my lonely touch. My heart feels like it's crushed, and blood gushes as wrists pulse. I think I'm dying, but I don't know- maybe I'm already a ghost. Keep me afloat in this web of limbo, I like to not know, I like to be numb. The pill the bullet, my throat the gun; shoot my intestines and let my mind be gone- blown away like dust as the screens of my face play hallucinations. Reality's seams rip and run up the blurry leg of god, his face clear, his ears sewn shut but he still nods whenever I talk.
He's more real than the hope I cling on, a fly caught in the web of the arachnid's song.

-SLuR

Cut the frog out of my throat, but preserve it in formaldehyde  
I'll croak with all my thoughts when they're born, infanticide
Of my mind, where these demons run and hide.  
Enticing me to seek, they know I'll never find.
I hear their footsteps when I sleep, pittering
A gentle rain, a drizzling of the pain I wish would go away
I've counted to ten, tenfold by tenfold, but it doesn't go
It bares its teeth and holds. Shows me the love I wish you would give,
Covers me in kisses that severely bruise my willingness...
I've been hanging by threads, pulled taut against the world's arrogance
One by one they've snapped and taught me of my own irrelevance.
I'm falling down a helical structure and my skeletal form can't muster-
The strength I need not to rupture, so excuse my seams  
And all the creepy crawlers that fall out, their legs wriggling to the sky.
Each twitch a quiet cry, ignore the crunch as you walk on by
Over the anthills of my depression, my eyes must be regressing  
Because their size to me, seems devastating; Mountain peaks,
Out of reach, unless I wink and squeeze... thumb to forefinger,
The shadows they cast makes hope waver as the sadness it reels
Silently lingers.

-SLuR

Would you remember my face
if it were a different shape,
If our souls burned a new fate in another time, another place?
Were we only meant to graze against the grain of this timeframe,
Should I bargain away
all of my chips in this game
or should I fold and wait for another time, another place?

-SLuR

Whenever you're near me,
My stomach begins to ache,
From the incessant flutter
Of paper thin wings.
I have a field of butterflies,
Inside my stomach lining.
And you coax them to fly,
With your nectar-sweet smile.

-SLuR

Sticky, greedy fingers,
Hand stuck in the honey jar,
Again, for the fifteenth time this week.
So eager to consume regurgitated garbage,
It's not even organic, fifty percent corn syrup.
Blood thick, slowly running through engorged veins,
Fat and ready to pop, like an expectant mother,
Or a piñata, bursting forth with sugary delight.
Blood dripping like icing from the tips of your fingers.
Your tongue readily available to lick it away.
Sticky, greedy fingers,
Lingering in your mouth, teeth full of craters
Fragile like wafers.

-SLuR

Oh, 
If only you could feel 
That the hell in me is real.
My insides house a violent fire,
My brain is storage,
For a thousand dark desires.

My stomach burns
With abhorrence.
Intensely gagging,
I can't endure it.
So I'll regurgitate, 
All of this extreme hate.

Only to devour it, 
Like a starving animal.
Slowly feeding on myself, 
I'm some sort of autocannibal.
Sending my insides to their fiery pedestal.

If you could only see,
What blazes inside of me.
You'd understand the reasoning,
I undergo, this feeding frenzy.
These demons inside,
That I desperately hide,
Should never be released.

So I'll continue to eat,
All that I excrete.

-SLuR

So you don't enjoy the hell that you've created,
You tore apart what was heavenly,
And ended up hating it.
Now you dwell in the land of the hopeless man.
With nothing to follow except for the sand,
That fills your hourglass.

It will lead you to the path,
Of your final destination,
Where all our souls go for migration.

A pool of flames, that we've all ignited.
Where we'll burn until fate has decided,
To release us back into the world.
Dust off the ashes and reveal a new form.

Experience a phoenix's rebirth.

A second chance to try at life,
To laugh in the moments where you previously cried.
To tell the truth all the times you've lied.
An opportunity to walk on the greener side.

When your happiness has reached its peak,
And you've gained all the knowledge that you seek,
You can migrate back to the final destination,
And live your life as one,
With the universe's vibrations.

-SLuR

I'm covered in pinpricks,
Marked by insignificance,
Society's standards never fit,
I learned to stitch, and altered it.
We're all meat bags, full of ****.
With our faces covered in spit,
Our tongues learned to savor,
The flavoring.
Can you taste the sweetness,
In my savory?
Self mutilation, with cookie cutters
Only certain shapes allowed in this oven.
I'm an accidental splatter,
Malleable, form me into what matters.
Out of all your confections,
I'm the only one that burned.
Out of all the sweetness,
I'm the only one that turned
Sour on your tongue.
Quickly, taste another one.
You said baking was fun,
But I guess it's not for everyone.

-SLuR

My veins
Are the roots embedded in Her soil,
I confess to Her ever-watching moon
And it smiles.
Her tides are both elysian waves
And eternal damnation.
All the sinners hide in darkness watching angels
Floating on the surface.
Trees are Her many hands that reach out to touch us
Proof that She's there,
A reminder that She cares.
That She dies with us
When we're in harsh winters,
When our bones are brittle and aching
She too aches.
She teaches us that life cycles,
That those frigid winters will thaw
And life will start again.
A fresh spring in our hearts.
I will not die only once,
I have already felt death's touch.
I am not who I was, nor who I will be.
Just like Her, She will break.
She will change.
She will wither away.
But She will never leave us.
Unforgiving, merciless, and unfair
She'd take our fragile lives as quickly as she gave it.
The Mother of all and their destroyer
She is both god and the devil.
She'll guide our souls through her rivers
Into her holy, ****** ocean.

I live within Her, and She within me.

-SLuR

I shed my insecurities
To show you what's inside of me,
The most secret of things
That make up this being;
All of it, for your eyes to keep.

Only for your soul to see.

-SLuR

I watched his body move in waves,
His limbs left a hazy trace,
A fluid ghost trapped in my gaze;
A blurry frame, possessed by the music
Invading our veins-
I’d get up and do it if I felt safe, but
I’m afraid,
To want the taste
Of friction clinging to our skin…
To crave, the heat of our rhythm
To feel his sweat, his steamy breath-
Dancing on my neck, my heaving chest
To have his fingers pressed into my soft flesh;
To share a moment more intimate than ***,

I watched his body move in waves
As he swayed,
In an uninhibited display
Of the primal connection
Between our souls entranced in passion

-SLuR

I know we're all connected through space dust, or whatever.
And all the feelings that I've felt have been felt by another,
Even though we're not related, I'd accept you as my brother.
We're the same, in the way, that we don't understand each other,
Two sides of a coin, now standing face to face
We're here in this time, occupying this space.
Not all can see, it isn't about getting first place,
But I believe, we could run together in this race.
Look at the sky, time always flies
Leaving us all ant-sized, and behind
"Remember that time when...?" We got stuck in the past,
Never realizing, that our present wouldn't last.
Everything fades, we all meet our fate,
After we deteriorate,
Where we go all depends on faith.
I want to be a tree, reaching towards your heaven,
Providing a breath of life, to our earthbound brethren.

-SLuR

I want to have a conversation,
A real one, not snippets of speech
I desire to dive into your cranial ocean
To discover plant life and new species.
Your waves push me back,
And your moon pulls me away.
I understand our emotions aren't the same.
You're happy when I stay
Floating on the surface.

I'm an open book
With pages turning in the wind
I'll let you read all of my sentences.
You could admire
All the ugly pictures,
That I find sacred
Like the scriptures.
Fold me up like dog ears
In places you
Want to be remembered.
Tear out a page, it's yours to take
Bend my spine, make me out of shape.

Just let me sink at the end of the day.

-SLuR

I try to force myself to dream
With my headphones in my ears,
Waiting for my phone to ring,
So I can pretend that you're there;
And cling,
But everything eventually disappears.
Who can happily fall asleep holding air?
I hate the part of me that descends helplessly
Into emotions I want to stir,
But can never seem to reach.





I'm a monster, a creature
That crawls against the walls of the night.
A lady who feeds off of lies,
Tonguing words that don't sit right
Though they hold truth in the dark side of my eyes.

I wish you'd scrape yourself against my corneas
And squirm to the back of my mind,
To understand all I wrongly convey,
The pain; that you naysay.
If it's not here, then why do I feel this way?
Loneliness overtakes in waves throughout the day, but it doesn't exist.
I just bend and twist to look broken,
Like I need to be fixed; as you insist.
Ignore my scars and what I try to open,
Dusty drawers, that no one cares to rummage through.
I'll keep them locked, and stay hopeless
That anyone's fumbling hands will hold the key.

Leave me, unseen.

-SLuR

My cavernous heart will devour you whole,
Only for you to quickly decompose.
Hello? Hello.. Hell, where did you go?
Lost in the darkness that overflows.
Drowning in the depths of its thalassic hold;
Ebb and flow, this pain I know wanes only to grow.
I’m a slave, like the tide to the seraphic face of the moon.
Guided by life to find the perfect place for my tomb,
The cratered space I desire to bury myself into.

-SLuR

You used to greet me in the mornings with your cozy, loving warmth,
Clutched inside your gentle talons I was nothing but a helpless worm.
I want you to devour me completely with all of your thoughts,
Let me squirm and get lost in the things that make you up.

Your words are dipped in lust when they were once coated in sugary dust
But greedy time just had to come along and lick all that sweetness off,
Just my luck, life knows I like it rough; that’s why he leaves my heart bruised:
So I know when I’ve been ******, and used up- thrown away like an abused toy.
Oh boy, but how you make my heart quake like it craves to destroy its cage.
Devastate me completely, and I’ll search the ruins for a crumb of your sincere love
I promise I’ll find it here, just give me another second, day, or year;
For me to never realize that something that wasn’t there can’t disappear.
I miss the days when you’d swear I was a woman woven from dreams,
How you called me precious like you were guarding the ring to our fantasy marriage,
But now my words disparage any notion that I could every carry your hand in my own.
You used to roam my mind in pleasant visions during sleep
Now I’m left with nightmares on repeat, why’d it have to be me?
Cursed with these deeply rooted feelings that make me think of you when I’m lonely,
Which is always, I still want for you to hold me and make love to me harsh, yet slowly.
I can feel us steadily leaving as the credits on the screen start depleting
But I’m too scared to muster up the monster called Goodbye.
I want you in my life, though you’ll never be mine.
I’ll sit in the sidelines if you promise to say “Hi”,
If I ever pass by your mind.
But that’s unlikely,
Right?

-SLuR

The sky is such a lovely shade of blue,
It's dark and bright, and reminds me of you.
An unforgettable hue, that makes me want to sink deep,
Want to dive right through, but it's always out of reach;
And only just, if I stretched enough
I could grab the sun,
And pull it up,
Right out of that sea,
For you,
My love.

-SLuR

To think love was true,
That feelings grew wildly
As beautiful as exotic leaves
Reaching out from alien trees.
The stars, they scream
And laugh at me
Can't I have a wish?
Can't I have a dream?
Is peace a thought so obscene
That serenity is found only in between
The sheets, and sleepy eyelid scenes?
Inject us with humanity
And let veins leak-
Drip and seep, into the darkness
Of our greed; these sickening feelings
That devours us like weeds,
Rooting deep inside of bones.
The route we follow since our birth,
Our comfortable home.
Hate is easy, it's harder to love-
The unknown
The unfamiliar, and foreign;
My heart cries for any pain
That any soul may be holding
I hold these heavy arms open
Ready to accept the sick and broken
Those covered in sin
And the ones lost- forgotten.
But I, myself stay unwanted
By me, this world is haunted.

This girl is a fool, to be used
Strictly for cruel amusement.

-SLuR

Your words cling to me,
Like dense smoke hanging in the air,
You penetrate my skin, like a piece of cloth
Your scent remains for hours,
Days,
Years.

Covered in your odor, stitched throughout my seams,
Your smell permeates through the skin it's tattooed in.
Leaving olfactory marks and scented scars,
Whenever the wind is called upon.
And I fall, tearing myself apart
Pieces of worn fabric, stretched so thin
That it's almost see through, when put up against the sun.
And you stitch me back together, just adding another layer.

Reimagining my existence,
You've made me something new,
Just a flesh sweater scented with layers of you.

-SLuR

In your hands I’ll turn to ash, easily crumbled by your breath.
With rough palms you’ll softly caress, down my neck and to my *******.
Our bodies will mesh, with heat and sweat; Sighs will feed your appetite,
Cravings building towards delight with every stroke and every bite.
Pull me close and I’ll let you inside, if you twist and writhe
With my shivering spine, as our passion collides
And my mouth writes your name for the passing skies;
Dawns and dusks blurred with moans and grunts.
I’ll surrender my love, my body, my flaws
Completely open up, just to feel your pulse.

-SLuR

Virility,  
Engorged veins, webbed around mounds of musculature
Bound to the role, like notations inked on tablature;
Harmonious oppression, swallowed down like rejection
Buried underneath years of brainwashing-  
Shampoo and deep condition.  

Fragility,  
Masculinity is found, dug out from depths of sensitivity.
Emotional vulnerability held open to harness forceful energy.
Washed by one hand, you turn and cleanse the other;
For strength not only travels through engorged veins
But, also carves paths from heart to brain, brothers.

-SLuR

Can you feel the walls stare while you lie there bare?
Exposing yourself to him as the lights grow dim,
Letting him see underneath your skin.
Ensnared, by his charming grin.
You grimace, as he scans your body.
A temple stripped from all that was holy.
Yet he bows in prayer as if it holds a deity
And his eyes worship everything that he can see.
Entranced by intimacy
Your bodies begin to blend,
No beginning, no end.
Just infinite skin, and boundless pleasure.
Digging deeper to find the treasure.
Making your own grave, as you die over again.

-SLuR

Creature

Hidden in the mirror; it's cracked and dusty.
Twisted figure. Disfigured picture.
Locked away in a decrepit building,
That echoes with hate and familiar
Screams. Screaming fills... Filling
Myself with feelings so real,
And palpable.
Almost maleable,
With this hurt I can shape something happier.
We must be perpendicular,
Crossing lines against our times,
Somewhere.
I stare and I stare,
But I can't find a difference
From what's here to what's there.
My skin's yellow and frail,
But other colors aren't rare.
I smell sweetly of death,
It lingers softly on my breath.
He calls me fiend, he calls me monster
My father leaves me unnamed- forgotten.
I'm not a human...
I'm rotten.

Let the flames that eat away at their torches
Serve as a reminder of the loathing
That remains for the daemon
Born by lightning,
A parallel of humanity-
So frightening.

-SLuR

Awakening on a plain, vast and full of nothingness
I scan the horizon of my brain, sifting through thoughts
And memories. Like all the times I've been called a negative creep.
I try not to let it get to me, but these paper cuts run deep.
I think of school, and reflect on the moments I was buzzed on love.
Always wanting more, like an addict I could never get enough,
But now I only get my fix off of lithium,
I write lines with shaky hands and blurred vision.
All of my emotions blew away like pollen in the wind,  
I'm waiting for the spring so they can be in bloom again.
In this emptiness I breed hate, feeling sick I regurgitate
And there's something in the way it tastes,
Reminiscent of skin flakes. Please stay away,
It's not contagious, but my hair's thinning and my skin always itches.
I'm just a dumb downer, and I know that's infectious,
You remind me every second. It's endless,
Nameless, I am. Just a line in the whole sketch.
I'm waiting for the day where I find eternal peace,
And reach
Nirvana.

-SLuR

Keep my fate in your shoddy black box,
Splinter my life with shuffling hands against paper.
Eyes wander, voices whisper
Time is lost in a downward gaze.
Shuffling feet against concrete;
One after the other after the other,
Men and sons and lonely mothers.
Trembling fingers,
Cut my hope with slips of paper.
Death is marked by a
Single
Black  
Dot,
The period of my life.
The end to something that has never begun.
Circle around me as the sun bakes my skin,
Getting ****** in the early morning.
Pelt me with your hurt-
Your jealousy,
Because I've won
The lottery.

And you are all lost in old-school beliefs,
Gripping to paper, then letting go with relief.
Playing god every year; June 27th.
To send another family member to heaven.

Keep our souls tightly locked
In that
Dilapidated
Black
Box.
Fill us with hatred,
For the summer months.
Where someone is forced
To get, so cruelly, ******.
Thrown at bones for fun,
By men and sons and lonely mothers
One right after the other,
After the other,
After the other,
Until all that remains is nothing but rubble.

-SLuR

An angel made of unreal perfection.
A demon that curses me with rejection.
Puffy, honeyed lips that I crave more everyday.
A mouth that only spews out words of hate.
He makes me feel so warm and not alone.
You make me feel like hell is my only home.

It's always freezing cold in that hole of a soul.

When you force yourself upon me
To him, my thoughts creep
It doesn't hurt so badly
If I pretend it's his body-
His mouth absorbing my screams
His fingers clinging to me,
Digging into scarred skin.
It is never a sin;
It isn't, if it's him.

It's always freezing cold, I'm shivering in your soul.

He's an angel, eluding my prayers
While you're a devil that selfishly answers.
I want to feel the softness of his feathers
Raining down on me like kisses
A million times better,
Than all of your sorry excuses.

Your love only comes in forms of abuse
Use me, so you don't have to feel so obtuse.
Escaping you, through portals of imagination.
A face of a man who fills me with elation,
While you teach me self-hatred,
I've been begging you to leave for ages.

It isn't fair when my feelings have waned,
I don't feel the same, but you insist that there's a flame-
So you stay, chaining me
To the heart of a knave
Insisting I'm property,
An object for you to keep
But I dream of him,
When I'm imprisoned
In arms while we sleep.
I just want you to leave,
I want to be freed.

Your soul is freezing cold, the place where I'm forced to grow old.
Pain falls like snow coursing through these brittle bones.

It hurts so much knowing his heart will never be in my hold.

-SLuR

Death sits atop my tongue,
Ashes dance around my thoughts.
Perched upon my skeletal frame,
Indelible bruises made of blame.

Won’t you kiss me, singe me,
Coat me in pungent smoke?
Let me feel you between my fingers
Before your scent no longer lingers.

I can taste you with every pull,
I can see you within each cloud.
I feel your absence leaking like an abscess,
My throat clawing away at cancer, to say your name
And to hear an answer.

-SLuR

I’ve never heard your voice or the way it wavers when you’re sad, how it grows when you’re angry or the words your bitter tongue throws when you’ve gone mad. I’ve never felt your palm brush against my own, my fingers have never known the warmth you could give them in the cold. I’ve never heard your heart and I don’t know if it would work, does it sputter and cough a dusty beat or operate smoothly, churning and pumping robotic and coolly? I’ve never felt your weight, heavy, on top of my own. Never clawed down your back, never curled my toes savoring how you moan. I’ve never felt your pain, and I know I’ll never know just how far the blackness stains you, just how deep that hole can go. I’ve never kissed your lips, have yet to taste your skin; to see you peel it back, to have you hold me within. I’ve never been very special, have never held any importance so, I know one day you’ll leave me with only haunting apparitions- of a face I’ve never seen, smile naturally or wake deep from sleep and wipe off the morning. I’ll never feel the sting of missing you as I watch you leave or the backhand of happiness when you return yourself to me, but I know I won’t forget you when you’re just a fading memory because even though I’ve never, I’ve always loved you dearly.

-SLuR

I just want to leave this place,
We can be cowboys
In outer space,
Or race, Vicious Red Dragons,
And start practicing magic.
Let's go jump
From planet to planet.
We can dance to some Bebop,
Or do the bunny hop.
Let's wait for time to stop,
And gravity to let go.
So we can float to the moon,
Before it explodes.
The astral gate
Should be opening soon.
It's our fate, to escape this
Wretched place,
Let it get lost in the lunar rain.
Bursting the seams
Of the universe,
Let us see,
who can break through first.
I'll see you again
In another dimension,
Let's get lost,
No asking for directions.

-SLuR

I like the way god takes his time to pull the knife out of my spine.
The tingles climb my vertebrae, all fun and games, with bony snakes
clutching to broken ladders. Huff n’ Puff crowned The Magic Adder.
Blow my house down, and let it fly away; The Kansas view was lame
and I’ve heard Oz is all the rage. There’s no place like a broken home,
Sticks and stones held together by thin worn rope. Deliberately
place the frail bones and mark the way to the white rabbit’s stagnate hole.
I’d let myself fall.. slip through the fingers of your disfigured gods
And they’d watch me twitch and crawl, erratic, like a dying insect
So close to death but not quite there yet, I can’t seem to find the way
Crush me with your weight, I love how it feels to be completely erased.

-SLuR

A gentle touch
That wind blows off.

A piece of dust,
A flake of rust.

A scornful lover's kiss,
Bitter and hard to miss.

A fly on a white wall,
In a room full of frogs.

A crumb, an ant
A shard of glass.

This is all that I have,
This is all that I am.

Roughly,

Nothing.

-SLuR

Streaks of light mar my perfect darkness
And shadows dance in blinding rays
Trace the paths across my legs
And find the destination is always the same.
The rocks erode as the wind grows colder
And the waves splash fiercely against my face.
I mistook moths for butterflies
Carving my stomach causing it to ache.
I don't know what to say,
My words are slurred and quickly fade
Day by day by day by day
My hopes grow wings and fly away.

I'm now here, in nowhere turning on a cracked sphere.

-SLuR

If I hid your name in every poem, would you notice me then,
Or should I scrape your veins as I trace these words with my pen?
Could I erase all the mistakes that appear when my hands shake,
Or would I just smudge the ink into a more noticeable stain?
I wish I knew terms that could shatter your mind blind,
So, when you hold me in your eyes that little voice won’t reply
“Good try; Better luck next time. Take five, for the rest of your life.”

-SLuR

In you I can taste addiction, bitter
Like the ashy ghosts of my cigarettes
Or the phantom pain of my needle ******.
So much so that our bones share the same skin;
All the raised flesh, every shiver, every itch.
When our fingers start to twitch towards it
Like a pup crawling back to its *****.
Your taste wasted in my putrid spit, so
When our mouths cough up identical twins
I’ll be savoring the flavor of theft,
A kleptomaniac hiding smiles behind a cleft lip-
Raised like an emblazoned cross for our shared sins;
I’ll nail you across my teeth if you rot away, with my cavities
And leave me the three words I never thought you heard.
(“Remember to floss”) Can’t you tell that I’m lost?
Tripping over my own feet, ignoring gravity
I just wish I could sink into the gaping holes I’ve carved in my mouth,
To bury my thoughts when they try to push themselves out.
My tongue traces the words that spew from your throat
Confessing all I'll be is all that I loathe.

-SLuR

I fell in so quickly, though I perceived it in slow motion,
Like I was slowly sinking, into your heart's crimson ocean,
And I finally made it all the way to the bottom.
Where I sat amongst memories that remain unforgotten.

Scenes too important to be held by your brain,
Where short term memory loosely holds onto the reins.
Influenced by things, always mistaking flowers for weeds.
Vines effortlessly follow wrinkles, on gray matter they feed.

You stored me in your heart, next to things you could not part with,
Like the warmth of my smile, and the softness of my lips
Things that you held dear, like my reflection in the mirror.

You'd always feed my hungry ears,
With the things they like to hear.

You'd pull away my fears,
And pick at what makes me insecure.
You'd steal my salted tears,
And rub them into your open sores.
You felt my pain, when I couldn't take it anymore.
With me, in the darkness you fearlessly explored.

You followed me into my world,
Just to get a better look,
At all the sickness and the hurt.
You watched blood flow through the holes,
Where organs were.

Understanding this corpse,
On your fingertips it's coarse.
Learning how to trace around,
All the insides that can't be found.
Holes you plan to fill, with emotions I don't feel.
You planted seeds in me, to show me that it's real.

I think I can feel them grow,
Through my skin,
Through my bone.
Is this thing called love...
This little flower,
I can hold?

-SLuR