Loneliness blows his nose on the napkin of my life,
He crumples and folds my fragile paper existence,
Layered with stains of hatred.
Tears and blood and ****,
Throw me away as a gift;
Into the world's trash bin.
I've been inside before,
Scouring for something more
A crumb, some love, a hit;
Anything to make me forget
The love I hold for death.
It's so hard to keep things repressed
When the air is compressed
And blown straight into my face
Breathing is such a waste,
When I know of my fate.
Withering into the unknown,
Into the forgotten; our spirits home
Where worthlessness belongs.
You won't remember me when I'm gone.
Forgettable like silence once noise has been ignited,
Regrettable like violence, that kissed your mother's eyelids.
I was nothing but an empty vessel
That life has filled with useless drivel.
I'll stand and I'll swivel when you pull my strings
But being is unimportant when you're never seen.
I keep myself nice and clean for any hermit soul
That would wish to crawl inside my shell
And make it a home.
I'm full of dust and alone, in a gusty sandstorm
Wuthering winds of sins and pain
I shiver inside from what you say.
Smiling as the air carries me away.

-SLuR

Twisted tongues turning timorously to
Touch torpid thoughts.
Trying to tantalize tissue tucked tightly into interiors
Ineffectively igniting imagination,
Inclined to effusively entwine
With enigmatic ethereal ideas.

-SLuR

Did you lose me?
Are you too busy?
Am I just so unimportant
That you'll toss me to the back burner
Like a failed dish?
Something you're done with.
I'm finished,
You're out of focus.
Focusing on the ones on their knees,
The ones who sing, and truly believe.
I thought you were accepting,
So why won't you accept me?
Did you lose me?
Are you too busy?
Am I just so unimportant
That you overlooked my name on the list?
Was it ever even there, written clearly in print-
Or cursive?
Maybe your thumb smudged me off,
It's possible that you erased me
And just ignore all of my calls.
It's not your fault,
I know it's mine with this filthy mind
And skin that crawls with sin, like parasites.
I'm sorry for killing your son-
I'm sorry I ****** him every night,
I want to be forgiven,
To turn all of my wrongs to rights.
I want to retrieve the innocence
You let life, so cruelly take;
Why then, was I not saved?
Was I a child so depraved?
Did you lose me?
Were you too busy?
Was I so unimportant
That you let him have his way?
Or is it just a part of this play?
Not everyone gets the chance
To see your face,
To feel your grace,
And find the path that leads your way.

You're not my father
And I think of you as cancer,
But I'll keep on calling
Hoping one day you'll answer.

-SLuR

I don't know where I am anymore,
Your arms are wrapped around me
I can feel you softly snore;
Breath quiet, warm, and slow
Dancing on my forehead.
This is all that I have left,
These disgusting, precious moments
That I'll never forget.

You transport me to this place
Whenever we're alone.
You rip me out of our space
When I'm thinking-
With eyes closed;
And you're sleeping,
In this bed of time-machinery.
Ripping me through threads,
Forcing me to relive
When we were alright.
When everything seemed bright
But I was lost in the shadows,
Projected by your lies.

And sickly, I smile
As my brain travels miles
To reach destinations,
I haven't been to in a while.

Like that lonesome beach
Where I surrendered myself.
Giving you all that I had,
In our moment on the sand.
I thought you'd never reach
For my unembellished shell,
But you held me in your hand,
Taking all that you could grasp.

Or those tender, treasured seconds
Where you'd cradle my heart in heaven.
Rocking it in your cloudy arms,
While delicate fingers traced coarse scars.

I'm reminded of happier times,
That felt like dancing in sunshine.
Now we keep behind black clouds
To never come back out.

So please,
Just stay there sleeping.
You're happier in your dreams,
That will never include me.

Your soul I never could appease.

I'll lie here with my mind
As it retells these
Fantastical stories,
Of a make believe boy
Who found something beautiful
In something boring.

-SLuR

A stagnant pond
Surrounded by death,
Withered reeds rooted
To promises I've never kept.
The fishes of thought have flipped,
Baring their bellies to sunlight's kiss.
My duckling of happiness has left,
Migrating away from this forest.
No ripples persist on the water's surface,
I skip rocks and always miss
The depths of my bliss.

I try to stir these thoughts
To give me what I lost. Instead,
Loneliness bursts forth like
Swans growing from my head.

-SLuR