I think it bothers me
That
She ever use to hold you
And brush the hair away from your face

I want to be the only one
Who made you fall in love

I didn’t want to be here
I didn’t want to be anywhere

Escaping in my head
Into every pair of eyes
I found
Myself
Lost in beauty
Lost in love

Focus, Focus
I couldn’t focus

She said she worries
But I’m not worried
I want to breathe her air
And wrap her around me

She is beautiful
The Sun sets in her eyes
And rises with her smile

And God,
I am so lucky to know her

God told me yesterday that you and I are finished
End of the line
End of this holy bond

Holy matrimony
You said you’d take care of me
But you only wore me down
To make me strong

He sent me a message in the sky
“Leave your husband”
And then I thought about
How you only make me cry
Bone breaking loneliness
Creeping all inside

23 years old
Today
Wonder why I feel this way
Should be proud
23, salaried
Everything is feeling pretty empty
23 years
Happy Birthday

My dad and I
We may never speak
And
When he dies
I might not even be invited to the funeral,
I might not even be listed under one of his children under "survived by",
I may never get closure,
Or the answers I wanted

I will never know why he walked my sister down the aisle, but he skipped my wedding.
I will never know why he takes pictures, saying "all my grandchildren", but my son is missing.
I will never know if he cared as much as I did about these things, if he swallowed the silence.
Is he bad at his core? I might never know.

My dad and I
We may never speak
He might die
And I might never know him.

Why is it so hard to swallow?

I get solace in knowing,
even if you keep pretending my blood
isnt yours,
I am
I am.