I feel like Cruella DeVille,
Smoking a capri
In brand new clothes
Because Christmas
Just happened
Why did, when I opened
All of the gifts from
Family & friends,
Did I long for a person
To step out of a box
And wrap their arms
Around me?
To take them back
To my apartment
So we could sit on
The mattress on the floor
Smoking my little
DeVille cigarettes
And drinking a,
Previously unopened,
Bottle of bourbon
In my now,
Newly gifted
Star Wars mugs

I want to
I wish I could
But the past
Ruined me
And every time
I try to
My body
Screams not to
I'm sorry
I truly am
I really do want to
But I'm not there yet
Give me a little more time.

I think
Last night
I dreamed
Of the dark
Corner of my mind
No light was there
And I snuck in
With some unknown
And never before seen
Imaginary guy
And after paying off
The random thugs
With a crumpled five
He and I reversed into a corner
Knowing the things that'll go on
Knowing **** well
What a man and woman do together
In a dark abandoned space
And just before I woke
Just before I witnessed their sin
I hear the maniacal laughter
Of the evil part of me
Invading even my dreams.

It's not because I don't love you,
because,
I do.
But you see
it always starts out the same.
I learn about you from a friend
when he tells me your name,
how much he loves you,
all the wondrous things you say
and that I need to get to know you;
today.
The next time I visit that friend,
you're there.
I try to play cool,
desperately trying to hide
how much I really care.
But inside I'm pulsing,
racing,
unable to think of anything
except when can I get you alone
and
when can I make you sing.
After all I've heard so much about you;
hated by those that don't matter
and loved by those that do.
So when it's time for me to leave
you come along without hesitancy
and
at home we get to know each other,
when your arch your spine for me
like you did for your last lover.
I hint at deep intentions
when I ask you to move in;
promising nights in each others arms,
my love and undivided attention.
“I have room for you in my life”
I'll say,
but despite this all
I still might give you away.
It's not that I won't miss you
when you're gone,
but,
the problem is I'm a traveler;
a vagabond.
I move on,
and on and on,
frequently meeting new faces
that hold a wonder for truth;
and they remind me of me
the me before you.
And so,
my darling,
it isn't that I don't love you,
I do.
But I've met someone new,
and this someone needs you.

If I had a dime, for every time I've been down.
I'd trade these beggar's rags, for a solid silver crown.
Cursed by loneliness,  but blessed by freedom to roam.
To wander these back alleys, where I call my home.
All I have to my name, is an old glass pipe and my shoes.
Sold my soul to fill a hole, not filled with women or *****.
Please don't pity me old glory, not you old fools on the hill.
Just give me your spare change, I'm only in it for the thrill.
Ignorant drink their lattes, and the pious drink their wine.
You know every ****** like a setting sun does shine.

When I was one-and-twenty
    I heard a wise man say,
"Give crowns and pounds and guineas
    But not your heart away;
Give pearls away and rubies
    But keep your fancy free."
But I was one-and-twenty,
    No use to talk to me.

When I was one-and-twenty
    I heard him say again,
"The heart out of the *****
    Was never given in vain;
'Tis paid with sighs a plenty
    And sold for endless rue."
And I am two-and-twenty,
    And oh, 'tis true, 'tis true.

Live your life

All your own

Be yourself

Not a clone

Think your thoughts

Dream your dreams

Show the world

It’s fine to scream

With bright colors

And bright lights

Show them love

Make futures bright

Don’t hold back

Or change your mind

It’s your own essence

Your unique bind

With this life

You’re only one

But your dreams

Can shine like the sun

If you let them

They will bring

Joy and peace

A song to sing

Love it all

Whatever the size

Life is special

Life’s a prize

And once you see

What you can do

Teach the world

How to do it too

So human beings

Will finally see

Their unique worth

And the power of dreams

I do my
Best thinking
When I am cold
And I do not mean cold
Such as
Mild shivers and
Light body quakes
I mean
**** straight
Runny nose
Over the top
Wooly sweaters
And hot chocolate
To soothe
My frozen bones


I suppose the
Intensity
The feel of my
Frigid skeleton
Pressed against my
Clammy Skin
Wakes me up


So I sit there
****
(Because God knows those sweaters were hideous…)
With a glass
Of frosted judgement
And ponder over thoughts
That were previously resolved
Only to reconsider


Why in God’s name
Did I say that to her?
Do his stares really mean
What they imply?
Did I leave the stove on?
Till my mind
Liquefies
To mere mush
And the chills
Overtake my curiosity
Are replaced by
A mug of hot beverage
Of my usual lukewarm distaste