you never saw it coming
i was just your daughter
how could i **** you without even taking your life
but somehow i have
i have killed you in a way only i am capable of
broke your heart into pieces not even i can put back together
but i am just your daughter
so you never saw it coming

s.s

you told me you were tired of living

i couldn't help but picture you
sitting on the edge of your bed
glaring at the bottom of a trash can
wishing you could throw up your last breath
rather than feel the nausea of a steady beating heart

i pictured you
hugging your knees on the bathroom floor
hands grabbing your mouth and chest
begging for both to stop moving
as tears leak out of red eyes in steady streams

i pictured you
wide awake as the hours steadily march towards sunrise
unable to move because the world kept you pinned to the floor
and you watch the clock tick and tick
feeling as though every minute was just another wasted

i pictured you
hurting in a way you couldn't bear
and i want to grab you and hold you
until the very sadness that makes you feel this way
seeps into my skin just so you can breathe

i can't help but picture you this way
because it is the way i was when i told you those very words
that i was tired of living
so i will do anything to make sure you never feel that way
and i will do anything to protect you from hurting

s.s

the replies came few
he stopped saying i love you
i gave into the distance

the replies came faster
i became happier
he says i love you.

Captured by your heavenly eyes
Searching for a sign, that you love me


Time flew by, and I was still searching.


I never did find a sign.

hands shaking
mind racing
heart beating, faster.
horrifying thoughts,
entering your conscious mind.
this is your demons making themselves known.


to be rid of them
one must be rid of life.
they die with you, clinging onto your last breath.

he was the sun
supporting life
creating a glow inside my eyes

he hurts too much to be the sun
now he burns all the life there once
flames of destruction fill my eyes now