It's incredible as to how your past, present and future are so deeply interconnected with each other...your present is what it is because of your past(at least to some extent if not entirely)...and your future will be what it will be because of your present...and the common factor in all of this is the present...'coz today's present is yesterday's past and also tomorrow's future.

There are very few visuals as seductive as a cloudy sky...the sight of dark clouds moving in that slow motion, sound of thunder, the flashes of lightning and the pre-shower smell...it's like the earth getting itself ready to be drenched with the drops of love...and then the post shower smell...oh man!!! simply *******.

I've seen your eyes
They're constantly looking at me
I can tell that they want me
So burn me with the fire of lust that is coursing through your veins
Spare not an inch of me
I want to be devoured
I don't care about what anyone might say or think
I've spent far too many nights teary-eyed, lonely...broken and bruised
I'm longing to be touched
Hold me tight and don't let go
Even if for a few moments
'Coz those few moments....they seem like an eternity to me
In those few moments i feel at my happiest and safest
In those few moments i'm transported to a state of bliss
Just for a day i want to wake up being covered with someone's else's aroma
Just for a day i want to wake up feeling wanted or craved
Just for a day i want to break-up with loneliness
Just for a day i want to talk and listen to someone other than myself
I want you so bad
And i know you want me too
So let us surrender ourselves and partake in the festival of lust
where we try and discover and decipher our darker side

When your parents abandon you...it hurts
When your lover abandons you...it hurtss
But when your friend abandons you..it hurtsss the most

There is a slim chance but still a chance that you'll recover from the first two shocks...the recovery from the third one though is extremely challenging.[virtually impossible in some cases.]

I know that hope is a dangerous thing....it's risky..perhaps at times a foolish thing...may be we expect too much from it...may be the burden of expectations is starting to take it's toll on it....i don't know...but the the truth is that it's the only thing that keeps me ticking....i honestly don't know whether i would survive the lack of it...i dread this a lot..and so i always keep telling myself all the time...no matter what...i won't give up hope.

That funny and weird feeling you get when your birth date catches up with your age!

The thing about time is that it keeps going through a constant process of change....if you're going through a bad time be rest assured that it's not gonna last forever....you just gotta be patient,endure it and fight it out..similarly when you're having the good times make the most of it..'.coz that too ain't gonna last forever...sometimes the good times and the bad times tend to follow each other..pretty much like the seasons..the various seasons come to power at their prescribed time and then they leave like they had never arrived..so basically time gives us hope and at the same time tells us to be cautious.

Sometimes it is within the chaos itself where you find the answers....sometimes it takes a turmoil to give you a sense of clarity...sometimes it is amongst the ruins where you find beauty...and all of this baffles you...and you wonder-'how is this even possible?'
Quite often you'll notice that the situations that are adverse or disadvantageous actually give you an insight like never before...'coz they not only reveal to you the reality of people around you...but by the way you handle these situations...they also tell you a lot about yourself.

In my limited years on earth i have found mothers to be the most selfless and dedicated beings....i'm not in anyway undermining the role of fathers in our lives...but mothers are simply irreplaceable...they are just a class apart...but at times i have also found them to be equally stubborn...maybe it is because they love and care so much...maybe 'coz for her the child never grows up...i don't know...happens with me all the time...i keep telling my mom..'don't work so hard...i can do this by myself'...but she never pays any heed...she just keeps on working tirelessly...and i just keep drowning in a sea of shame and guilt.

A soulmate for me is someone whom i feel safe with...and i'm not talking about physical safety here...by safety i mean mental and emotional safety...if i'm afraid or hesitant to expose myself mentally or emotionally in front of my lover...for fear of being judged..if i can't be myself around my lover...if i'm afraid to drop my defences and choose to remain constantly guarded in front of my lover...then it has to be said that the person is not and cannot be my soulmate. A soulmate should be someone who accepts you for who you are and isn't constantly trying to turn you into someone you are not. A soulmate should impact you positively and fill you with happiness and belief. Often i keep hearing that it is impossible to find the perfect soulmate...well guess what no one is perfect...your soulmate isn't supposed to be perfect in every aspect..you make up for his shortcomings and he makes up for your flaws....that's how this works...soulmates aren't rare...it's just that like all good things sometimes they arrive a bit late..(sometimes a bit more late than you would like!!!)...but they do come...you just gotta look hard and have patience.

The evening sky streaked with the colours of the setting sun
To look at it....oh so much fun!!!
Like a bullet fired from a solar gun
Whose main purpose is to stun
Aw!!!  ****!!!.  ....the sun's gone...that's it...i think i'm done!!!
The beautiful amalgamation of fireworks has now turned into a dark empire
But wait....it seems to have has it's charm...
....namely the stars and the moon
Gosh that does make me swoon!!!
Soulgasms followed by soulgasms
I can't take it no more
So i'll just close my eyes and give in to this incredible pleasure
And as the cool breeze strokes my hair away
And the sound of leaves dancing in the wind give me eargasms
I can feel myself "coming" again!!!

You ask me whether i love you
Then you ask me as to how much i love you?
I don't need to say that i love you all the time
Every inch of your body knows it
Your soul knows it
Both are familar with me
My taste, smell, feel and touch...
.....they are all imbibed in your senses
There's no getting rid of them now
I reside in you and vice-versa
I long to taste you everyday
Your silky hair feels so good to touch
Your porcelain like skin feels incredible when it brushes against my skin
Those ocean deep eyes...they say so much without saying
The freshness and beauty of your being is something i look forward to every single day
Your words are my greatest source of inspiration
I aspire to be like you
A heart so full of warmth and always ready to give
A heart that is selfless and kind
A heart that provides hope

The morning rays of the sun
The freshness of the air
The sweet taste of your lips
The intoxicating smell of your body
Playing with your beautiful hair
Looking deeply into those ocean blue eyes
Watching you blush
Listening to your sweet voice
The perfect start to the day.....
I wish i get to experience this every single day of my life

Deep within all of us lies an impeccable source of strength...a strength of which we are unaware and sometimes it takes an adverse and hopeless circumstance to draw it out....and once we discover it...we will realize that no goal is too big and no path is impossible...if we have the stomach for a fight and the will to learn and improve then virtually nothing is unachievable....Roger Federer winning his 18th slam at the age of 35 and Rafael Nadal winning his tenth French Open at age 31 is an inspiration to me...the fact that these legends did not give up and were ready to keep working and fight it out..has taught me one valuable lesson...even when you're going through a prolonged phase of failures never ever feel demotivated...keep your hopes up and believe in yourself...you will taste success again.

I will never forget all the good things my father has done for me. I love him for a lot of reasons...but one of the major reasons for which i love him is because he has taught me the 3 most valuable lessons of my life-
1)How not to treat a woman(especially if she happens to be your wife. It really pained me to say this.)
2)Your first priority in life should be to become self-independent as soon as possible.
3)Never put blind trust in anyone.

I look at you with love and compassion...
...Like yours is the only face i want to see
You on the other hand look at me with disgust and contempt...
...Like you'd rather see any other face than mine
...what contrasting views we have!!!

I never thought we'd ever be together
And here we are living millenniums
Sharing dreams,hopes and fears
Painting our love on the canvas of the sky
Making the sun jealous with the bright light of our love
Making the moon envious of our serenity
Making the rainbow blush
Dancing with the constellations
Drinking tea in the cups of our love
Writing poetries on the November tree leaves
Exploring anatomy under the sheets
Being who we are
What we are....
Fearless,uninhibited,stupid freaks
Who don't care 'bout nothing
'Coz all we need is one another

There might be a smile on your lips
But your eyes are giving it away
You can try and pretend
But there's nothing that the eyes don't say

If we ever stop talking...write me a letter once in a while or send me a song.

Love and pragmatism can never figure in the same sentence simply 'coz they never see eye to eye.

Respecting someone doesn't mean that you can't disagree with that person.You have a right to hold your own view and sometimes this view might not match with someone else's...but respect is no reason to suppress your views.

I often long for death
But it never arrives
It looks at me from far
It mocks me from a distance
I sometimes wonder...how did it get to this point?
How did life become so unbearable?
Who is to blame?
Me or the stars?
Was i too laidback....or was i expecting too much?
Did i not give life a fair chance
Or was it the opposite?
I'm not sure if i'll ever fully know the answer or even understand it
And now i don't even want to
So i'll just wait for my time
Maybe it is yet to come
Or maybe it is lurking around the corner
Whenever it comes...it will be quite an experience...
....looking it in the eye..
...perhaps with a bit of curiosity..
...so this what it looks like
...this what it feels like..
...the heart stopping...the organs shutting down..like i'm in a state of trance
My entire life flashing before my eyes
Wished i had used it well...
...and fear... 'coz i'm pretty sure i'm doomed for hell (unless of course a miracle occurs.)

"One minute i held the key
Next the walls were closed on me
And i realized that my castles stand
Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand.....

-Coldplay

In life it doesn't matter to me whether i'm moving at a slow pace or at a fast pace...as long as i'm moving..i'm good.

Some days you taste like chocolate...dark and luscious..the perfect mix of sweetness and bitterness
Somedays you taste like strawberries...fraught with cream..you are quite the sinful delight
Somedays you taste like mangoes...full of juicy sweetness
Somedays you taste like oranges..tangy and hard-hitting
Somedays you taste like a Chicago deep dish pizza...crusty, delicious and filling
Somedays you're like my favourite cheese burger...the more i bite..the more you melt into my senses...and i surrender myself to you
Somedays you taste like coffee.....bitter and powerful
Of late though you taste a lot like vanilla...your intoxicating aroma...your texture..your incredible flavours..they all just tease my senses and drive me crazy...the more i taste..the more i want..like a drug or an aphrodisiac..with every bit of you on myself i can feel myself coming repeatedly...

Speak and question
Don't keep your lips sealed
You will gain nothing from it
Rather you will come to regret it
Suffocations over a long period of time often results in ailments and at times even tragedies

You know what's worse than someone deceiving or cheating you...the realization that you should've been able to identify and see through that person..and you failed to do so...'coz you let trust blind you...even though you trust someone..that is no reason to relax and take it easy...always be vigilant...the person who cheats you could be anyone...even those who are closest to your heart.

She was standing at my doorstep in all her grandeur
She was oozing oomph from all corners
My heart started racing
The hormones were going crazy
It was so difficult to resist her
This was seduction as its best
And yet i knew that i couldn't be with her...
...Coz' she was nothing but trouble...
..A fire which had consumed many souls before
And i would just be another trophy to her collection
And yet a part of me wanted to be consumed by her fury and passion
And so i gave in....
She destroyed me
I destructed her
I guess we were even

Come and get lost in the nothingness inside of me
I have no twists and turns
You get what you see
I'll take you for a ride
Don't worry..
..I'll be by your side
I'll be your friend,philisopher and guide
We'll travel and see many places
Meet and greet new faces
Getting in is very easy
You just a few sweet words
And after that the journey is nice and breezy
We'll have candy floss
And play that shooting game
Don't worry..
..i won't tell nobody your name
An entire day of fun and frolic
Will give your soul the much needed tonic
So what do you say?
Wanna come in and play?

Love means complete acceptance of a person....this means accepting both the goodness as well as the bad qualities of that person...these two qualities make up a person and are inseparable..you can't love the goodness and absolutely hate the bad part...then that can't be love...love doesn't have any terms or conditions.

There's a certain amount of beauty attached to failure..i mean sure it ain't drop dead gorgeous!!!...but you can't call it outright ugly either...it teaches you like anything man...the more you spend time with it you start to realize that there is so much more to life than just success or achievements....it's about trying and experiencing something new...savouring the different flavours life offers you...and every time you fail you just learn so much and you pick up new things...it actually provides you an opportunity of assessing yourself...how you deal with it..and how you prepare to tackle it the next time around...it's an incredible eye opener as well...'coz it never lies...it tells you pretty directly as to where you stand and what you need to do.

From yesterday to today
In a span of 24 hours...my dear self
we've come a long way
We still have miles to travel
Countless destinations await us
So many strangers destined to meet us
Over the past few years...much has happened..
From crazy love to brutal heartbreaks we've seen it all...
From mountains to deserts to villages to cities
Sometimes watching the sun set in the desert sky
Sometimes dancing and singing with bedouins
Sometimes passing through the most picturesque of villages
From scaling snow capped mountains
To skinny dipping in the cold water bodies
Trying perhaps in vain to decipher life
Honestly I've stopped all this ******* now
What's my purpose here? ..how does it matter?
All I know is that as a person I have to try and be the best I can be...
So my dear self...it's a new day...it's a new show
Once again here we go......

The basic difference between a kid and a grown up-

A kid always feels more than he thinks while with an adult it's the complete opposite...most of the times he is either looking way behind or way ahead...constantly analyzing and planning..very seldom does he live in the present.

To heal yourself you must face your fear...
To make peace with yourself you must first make peace with those to whom you are dear
Love ambition.. But also keep a safe distance.. Never come too near
Smile and be positive..but once in a while do taste a tear.......

I can't imagine my existence as a living being without you
'Coz without you i'm no longer a 'he'... I become an 'it'...
Since the day you left
....i have a body
But there is no more a soul
It died as you left
Took with it every single joyful memory
And left me with depressing and tearful remains
I lost my sense of idenity
I don't feel a sense of belonging no more
Loneliness rapes me regularly
I try to put up a fight
But eventually it always seems to overpower me
Darkness now has become my new friend
The lights just **** now
I'm still trying to figure as to which of the following three was the reason for the disaster that was our relationship....
Was I not good enough for you???
Or were you too good for me???
Or was I just ******* delusional???
I can only speculate...
But i guess I'll never know.....

Never shut out hope from your life...'coz when you shut out hope you basically shut out life.. Life is hope and hope is life.. They are interdependent...they need each other...one can't exist without the other.

You're like the glimpse of the sun on a cloudy day
You give hope
As long you're there my heart makes hay
My sadness is at bay
And then when you disappear it's all doom and gloom again
Why do you keep doing such things?
When I'm loving you...you go away
And when I'm trying to erase your memories...you come back
You don't let me forget you
And neither do you let me move on
Stop teasing me this way
It's either a yes or no
Don't leave me hanging in the middle
I'm not an object to be played with
I've been through this a lot
My heart can't take it no more
All that bruising and battering has left it quite sore
So just make up your mind...
...and lay out the truth for me
What is it that you want???
What does your heart desire???

I wish you all the luck for all your future endeavours
It's a pity it didn't work out between us
May be it wasn't meant to be
I have this one last parting wish
...i want to taste your lips one final time
...i don't need a plateful
just a wee bit will do...
You see its been quite a while since I've felt ur lips brush against mine
And i can't quite seem to recall ur taste
Was it vanilla or strawberry?
Or was it more lemony?
Or perhaps a bit chocolatey?
.....Since I won't be tasting them no more...
Let's just kiss and relive the good memories...one final time

It's the beginning of summer
And with it the beginning of many new memories and experiences
Winter has had its share of those
But they are dead and buried now
Some were beautiful...
Some grotesque....
Spring was pretty quiet and lowkey
I'm hoping monsoon really gets the ball rolling...
Last year a bit of a lull as compared to the year before..
I'm hoping this year(if I can make it till the end)..gives me a surplus..
Perhaps a change of relationship status
Or may be a promotion at work
Or it could be good health
Or just freaking peace of mind... That'll do just fine...

Love is good
Love with great *** is even better
But love with daily ******* of the soul is by far the best

Although it's a bit unfair to choose between parents...ive always found my heart to be strongly biased towards my mom...and the reason for that I think is this... Among all the  people who have known me or have come to know me...no one understands or has been able to understand me quite as well as she does...its like she can feel every beat of my heart...and I guess that's what makes mothers so special..I deeply regret the times I've mistreated her.. The times I've misspoken to her...i wish I could go back in time and change those moments...I want to give her nothing save for joy and happiness for as long as I live.

After all these years you say you don't want to be with me 'coz you don't know me well enough...What I am as a person..what are my likes and dislikes...what are my desires......
I just have this one small question...
.... "how would you expect to know a person when you don't even make the effort?"

The thing I love about the mirror is that it's so very trustworthy...it never lies..it never betrays...no matter what the time.. no matter what the place..it always shows you the true picture...i wish people were like this.....

Over the course of life i've found silence and patience to be very powerful weapons...they hardly seem to fail you... thing is you need to have the discipline to stick it.

I've had some of the greatest learnings of life from primarily 3 sources-
Women... Children... Nature

Women have taught me to be compassionate and resilient(among many other countless things)
Children have taught me to see beauty in ugliness..and not try and find meaning or sense in everything
Nature has taught me to strike that balance between serenity and rage

Books and the internet come a distant second.....

I want a bond that is invisible
A bond that is beyond the physical
A pinch of the intellectual
Some traces of the emotional
Perhaps something a bit spiritual
Or may be a touch of the supernatural
A little bit of extra-terrestial
With a wee bit of the celestial
A bond which engulfs me till I merge with it
And we become one single entity
A bond which keeps me hooked on to it all the time
A bond which constantly arouses all of my senses
A bond that engages with me
A bond that challenges me
Where do I find such a bond???
Or is it that you're not supposed to search for this stuff???
It will come to you when it has to...
I'm quite confused here...
I've looked far and wide...
But can't quite seem to have encountered such an unique bond
I wonder if I'm asking for too much...
Is it possible to find a bond like this???

All this while I thought that by running away I was managing to escape from my problems
It is only now that I've finally realized that I can never run away from my problems no matter how much I try....
....For I myself am the biggest problem...
It was me from the very beginning
Since I opened my eyes and witnessed all the craziness around me
Since the time I learnt to walk and talk and run and jump
It was me all along
How could I not see it???
I always kept blaming x, y and z for my issues
Never did it occur to me...
...not even once that I was the devil in disguise....
Oh!!! What a fool I've been!!!

Each and every time i close my eyes i think of you
Yes the you...the very you
The you who haunts me in my sleep
Visits me in my dreams
Teases my senses
Messes with my head
Plays with my hair
Whispers erotica in my ears
Leaves me twisting and turning in my sleep
And then leaves without a trace...
I'm yet to discover who you are
What u look like?
What u smell like?
What u taste like?
What u feel like?
And most of all who are u really?
Do u actually exist?
Or are u just a figment of my imagination ?
One of those crazy hallucinations
Someone too good to be true
Or are you some sort of futuristic vision?
Or some kind of premonition?
Well..whoever or whatever you are...
....u're certainly hellbent on depriving me of sleep!!!

I've always had a secret crush on death
Always wondered what it would be like to meet her
I know that I will meet her someday
But since I'm married to life....
....my loyalty lies with her..
...so I'm gonna hold on to her till death do us part.
Life and I...We've had our moments...
We've fought...then made up.. And then fought again..
But on the whole I've cherished every single moment I've spent with her
She has taught me so much
She has shown me so many different facets of the world
She's been a great source of inspiration
I cannot be thankful enough to her for all her love and guidance
There were moments when I thought I'd lose her..
But she fought and stuck with me all thru the sufferings and the pain
I love u dear life.. I truly do
And I promise you whatever time we have left with each other...I'll give you the very best of me

Our lives are nothing but a series of boxes we have to fill and a series of boxes we have to empty...the challenging part here is the decision making...at times we are spoilt for choices while at times there is a dearth of choices.