I will always
be late to the party
Just because


That's human nature

The past made the present you,
but don't let it change the future you,
the future you can still change*

Clearly.
Things are affecting me.

How harsh does it get you say?
oh, nothing much.
Just have to find the correct person


**haha.. correct person

Learned so much more today
haha
fluke of conversation
turned out to be worth it

you.
have
in the end
been better than I have
survived more
endured more

ha.
i thought i was
the one in peril
no
I misunderstood

I never even
paid
or gave
anything to you

i didn't promise to help
didn't follow through anything
hurt you more

just,
all the more reason for
me to apologize to you

ooh, I don't like the feel of this
I should have realized
i didn't

Apologies

**Sincerest Apologies

'Twas a good game
But now I
MUST LEAVE

Goodbye and ***** you for tricking me.
You will pay, but not yet

My shadow should be
proud of me
because I have done good things
Like
Write poetry
And
Fall in love with amazing people
Who did break my heart
But it doesn't matter really
I am not a likable person
Done just as many stupid things
Like
Try to **** myself
But hey
It doesn't matter
Sometimes, time hates us
Sometimes it doesn't
And sometimes
You gotta do it to relieve yourself

So in the end
My shadow should be proud of me
For I have done
Things which are stupid and things which
Are intelligent
So shadow please
Be proud of me
And don't leave me here alone

Tired of keeping everything
inside of me
this is annoying
and just wrong
in so many ways.

I would like to tell you
but i dont think i will be able to
because you are so perfect
in your own world
that i fear my intrusion
of problems and worries
will destroy your wonders
hence, i refuse to tell you
not about anything else either
just, the fact
that your wonderful world
will be in broken pieces
should i share my worries and problems

Its too much to keep inside though
and people tell me to get help from you
and i try
I honestly try
but.
I cannot bring myself to tell you about it
no matter the amount of persuasion
done by the girl i have a lot of crush on
it wont bring me to a conclusion
of sharing my distant and evil plans
with you and your wonderful world
that i occasionally peek into
to try to replicate

but, as previously said
I am unable to do it
because of my ineptness
of doing anything

I haven't done
anything
that I like or love
in so long
it feels like an eternity

I don't know
and have forgotten
what it even feels like
being in love anymore
its that bad.

Do you still get butterflies
in your stomachs?
Does their image keep haunting you?
(In a good way)
What exactly happens anymore?

So lost,
and unloved
that I am feeling sorry for myself.

Worst part?
I am no-ones first thought






****** ME!!

Please do it,
I am literally going insane
I need desperate assistance
I am very serious about this

My dreams are becoming reality
and reality..
well
I don't know where that is going
But, Very seriously
I am being troubled
hence,
I am asking you
to tether me down
so reality doesn't escape me

Please do me a favor
So i can live..

Be wary, be intelligent
don't lose hope
and
don't forget
that though you
believe in death
marking the end of your
problems
and while it certainly is
the key
to your problems
it certainly isn't

Looks are deceptive
It seems, and virtually feels
as though it can lead you out of ALL
the ****** misery in your life
its kinda.. untrue..
because after you die..
you are to go to the Underworld..
and please, lets not talk about it
I dont have a personal experience about it
but seriously
You will face just the same problems again
is it worth it to leave your progress right now?
You are doing great,
and death has doors
which you,
aren't required to knock on
for a while
A REALLY LONG WHILE

so please, enjoy the season of christmas
meet people under mistletoe
yes, I am serious about that
and live
and see the brighter side of things
and also watch Sherlock
season 3..

I like that show,
you will too
Just live and let bygones
be bygones
If this is too cliche
well..
Sorry about it.
I am trying to convey a point

Yes
You can do it
I did it,
It's possible

Story..
Stories
I have a story to tell
It's a tragic one as usual

A day goes by. Silence reigns and birds cuckoo
While this happens..
Two people sit under a tree
Using it as a rendezvous
For usual meetings
They met...
Once...
In ten days

They enjoyed it
I helped another person
and he tried to help me
I did a better job of helping him
that's what I think..

Anyways, once they met
they enjoyed it
they would talk together
and climb a tree
Play with a dog, which was a
golden retriever
They are big!
It was a lot of fun
Often playing Videogames
like..
Mario kart..?

That was a day
and it happened on
an occasional basis
when both of them could spare some time
from their daily *time consuming life

-----------------------------------------------------------­-----

One day however
A bright sunny day
A sunday afternoon
filled with birds flying about
nearly the end of the school year
It was all going by wonderfully

We had met another time
because you called me
and told me to help you out
and just to relieve the stress
that the school year had put on us

We climbed a tree
with a rope on it
it was pretty tall
about 10 feet high

I remember talking about self harm..
..and ways to **** oneself
and I gave up climbing and jumped off
the rope
6 feet
straight down
on my back/ankles

It hurt like batshit crazy
but i told you I managed through it
then later
when talking to our friends
I let it slip

I told her about my failed attempt
I was really depressed after that
It actually FAILED!

Well, now more people knew about it
and these rumors spread fast
as you would know
I was still fine with school
just.. I  became more depressed
My grades were fine
I was nearly at the end of the year
nearly there.
nearly

And then
I realized
that
Mockingbirds
are similar to humans
they don't talk much
at the time of crisis
but they remember
it, and pass it onwards

They don't lie.

*Mockingbirds dont lie

I remember
for less than a blink of an eye
a majestic V of forested *****
Far below it
A tiny stream
blue from the sky
Two low roofs
a yellow patch of
sun drenched beach

My fingers rasping across the wood
in a desperate effort
and
then I stood alone
in a cold and rain swept night

A ticket
Good, when validated, for
one trip to Verna

Behind it a date, gone,
long since, the ticket void,
punched in a pattern
of tiny holes

Okay then
Back we are
Going
Back in time

Woo

Speechless
Yes, I understand.

My presence does nothing
I know

Axios.
I. Am. Worthy.

































Yea, sure
Let's just go with that.

Tall flames,
bright red and orange
blue in the center
and white in midst
they burn till dawn
another object
has fallen

They burn
bright and strong
for a couple hours
then just die
For no
apparent
reason

Yes,
We danced tonight
I fulfilled my promise
Of a better dance
A better day
And a good time

I didn't know
I would do it like this
But I did,
And you enjoyed
You made me smile
For a whole night
Hugs and kisses
Slow dances
And beautiful company

Tonight
We danced in heaven
And enjoyed the company
Of the other
Smiled and laughed
And were hinted
By our friends
To dance,
So we did
And we danced
in
Heaven

Tonight
For once
We shall reside
in Heaven
and live for the eternity
and enjoy the bliss
of a friends company

Love each other
and combine souls
for tonight
We shall reside
in Heaven
and enjoy
the morning sunshine
and moonlight at dark

Tonight
We dance with each other
and learn about the other
love till the sun rises
for tonight
We reside in
Heaven

Yes.
This is titled
because
I found someone
to go along with
hand in hand
for a whole night

Though it was scary
Wasn't as bad as I thought
She accepted it
I felt relieved
to have found someone
to share a night with

Its the same old rant
I suppose
I am sad
Not just about grades
but about everything
about me
about myself
about my attitude
just about everything

I dislike myself
I said I wouldn't do this
But its back here again
Sadly

Is it just me
Or
Did someone decide to make me happy?

Either, Or

Doesn't matter
It made me happy
nonetheless
to know
that

someone recognizes me
not as a shadow
but as a person