Lantern through the mist,
lets me see the man at the foot of the bridge,
little to no effort to stop me,
for all who cross,
know the danger,
the price,
or simply have no choice,
under the lantern,
I stand next to the man,
who reeks of sad retribution,
and speaks of imprisoning freedom,
I take a step forward,
forward with no conviction,
so I go back,
with newfound respect,
fear and envy,
for those who crossed before me.

Dreams where you're still here,
living through,
sadness that cripples,
anger towards myself,
I bargain with my conscience,
depression hurts my health,
I've accepted our dying love,
mourning our fallen love.

If death is what you desire,
I'd happily grant that wish,
a multitude of tools I could list,
noose, knife or fire,
You could have your pick.

If you have the conviction,
tired of your earthly woes,
let go of all your worldly holds,
I must ask
If there's truly no convincing,
why do you still wish for someone to hold?

We all yearn for talent,
but the burden of potential is great,
the expectations of those around you,
can take you higher,
or drag you down,
so far that doubt takes over,
a beautifully cruel mistress,
poisoning you,
but it is the expectation you have,
of yourself,
that is fatal,
in my case,
if I don't make it,
I choose to die.

A silent drive,
s i l e n t,
lights blind me,
before darkness finds me,
no one in the passenger's seat,
not a soul in the back,
only things for company,
are the skeletons in my trunk,
on this long road trip,
we dreamed about,
it's a long,
long drive of despair.

What if we met again,
faceless and nameless,
strangers to everything but our words,
would you look at me the same way,
with the same eyes,
would we find ourselves again
would we love,
once more.

I've Burned
I've Drowned
I've fallen to a place
where there's no sound,
no light,
explored the ruins of my loves,
leading me to wallow in the darkness of regret.

I hope you'l need me one day,
wondering how I'll react,
to my phone shaking with excitement,
as you show up in my notifications,
perhaps for a cup of tea,
so will I smile,
or will it ring,
serenading me with that perfect tone,
a satisfying silence falls, as I watch,
your name,
leave my screen,
tell me where we're going,
tell me which it'd be.

It's midnight,
and my pen and I were wondering,
wondering if you see me in the same light,
as before,
reflecting in the same beautiful eyes,
as before,
read my poems with the same smile,
as before.

Your pain and kindness,
is a love I once knew,
the taste of your lips,
is something I never knew,
the kissing and touching,
is something new,
but not to me,
or you.

There are some poems I refuse to write,
hidden away,
but always presented to me,
in my search for inspiration,
The words are hidden
but on the tip of my tongue,
the feelings forbidden,
or simply ill advised,
for it has been so long,
since I've been honest with anyone,
including myself.

My favorite memories of us,
were never with you,
sleeping took forever,
cause I was dreaming of my lover,
planning a life ahead,
reminiscing of the day we met,
hoping I'd see you tomorrow,
knowing i'll need you tomorrow,
but one day the tomorrow never came,
never been so dependent on someone,
to be happy,
my favorite memory of us,
always used to be about you,
I miss being excited about love,
i miss dreaming of the girl that was mine.

Insecurities show our true nature,
I showed you who I am,
hand you a blade,
                                               my trust,
too many people have abused,
you too?
                           Stab me in my heart.
Help me.
                   I still breathe.