the words in my mind grew like uneven hair on my head
at different speeds they went
flighty and flimsy
mostly slow and newly
the words engraved on my heart
Cogito ergo sum
however, I wish that i am, I wish that I will be
the words that came from my mouth
may do no justice to those that formed in my mind

I wish i could extricate myself from this strange world
My standing does not hold an absolute meaning
I search for one to justify my presence
Only to realise that there is no permanent other
Because ideals would shift by day  
I have always hoped for a better day
Only to realise that there is no better day than today
I took words to heart
Only to realise that they would be lost in a fleeting moment
Seize the day they say
How am to I to brace myself for the unknown

Undesirable words spit poison
Half masks worn on disfigured parts
Covered yet exposed
Dark figure roaming behind the curtains
Instant detest for the meek
An insatiable hunger to outlive
Try configuring the twisted; pointless
As hollow as a decomposing apple
Striving to be as perfect as the golden ratio
Fatuous dialogues; spare me the agony
Inflicting pain unto others as it was done unto you
Perfect concuction of distaste and repulse
**** it with a spear; permeable you ll find

I collect happenings of each passing day
and stored them into separate sections of my archive
Sometimes, I attempted to take a file out from a particular section
I would often be greeted by a void or a message that says
"Your search did not match any documents"
Then it occurred to me that it no longer exists.

I kept chasing circles
I thought that I could dismantle and create edges out of them
I stopped
It never occurred to me that circles are meant to be circles

I dreamt of new beginnings, ones that have not begun

When i entered wonderland
I struggled to stay afloat
Asphyxiated
I believed that wild flowers grew on the crown of my head
Delirious
I felt that i was living
Inhale