Someone once wrote
Above their heart
It is forbidden to fall in love
But since when did love
Ask permission
When did it look
For an appropriate
Time and place
But the person was adamant
That even if love should happen
It is forbidden to express it
And if anyone should
Find themselves
In the company of this heart
They must first lower their gaze
And know that
It is forbidden
To speak of the lovers idols

How do I return the favour
And thank you my saviour
The relief you bestowed upon me
Took my grief
And gave me an answer
Engraved the path of my Lord
In my heart
Put the shine to the
Star of my fate
How do I compare
To the mercy you took
And the times you stood
Battled for my freedom
Mocked and ridiculed
Yet you strode forth
With love for me
Because I was amongst your people
The miracle of your gifts
Called upon to
Remove the blindfold of ignorance
Peace be upon you

She did it because she needed a distraction
A pain worse than the one she was feeling
Something she could see
Then control as she fixed it
Sliced her skin
And watched as her life wasted
Physical harm
Could be mended
It could be wiped
Disinfected
Plastered
And bandaged
She could at least watch it heal
Until the pain of her heart
The jumbled mess of her mind
Came forth once again
So she holds the blade
And worked on the distraction
Piercing skin demanding attention

Young lady
I wonder if you are aware
And I hope you're inncocent
But in this latest
Fashion craze
Of translucent leggings
Worn as pants
I can see your underwear
Young lady
I wonder if you know
You've taken the make-up
One step too far
And painted yourself
A clown face
Young lady
Those eyelashes
Coated on
Look like
Spider legs
Far too long
And the padding around
Your derriere
Are you wearing a *****
Unbalanced on those
Spikes called heels
So when you topple over
I'm not surprised
My dear
Your hair truly is
Magnificent
A nest perched on your head
Stick out your chest
Like a puffin puffing with pride
A peacock strutting its feathers
Yours are the multi-coloured talons
Fish lips
And a pink tongue hanging out
Just like a dog
Deep breath in
And assets pushed together
Time for a selfie
In the bathroom mirror
Young lady
There was a time
When dresses reached the knees
And camel toes did not exist
Blouses were buttoned
And modesty was dear
Chivalry was alive
And a rosy tinge of blush
Was the sweetest thing
That is all it took for attraction
To blossom

A guilty conscious
Eats away
Little by little
Nibbling on my brain

Now I know
What they mean
When they say
You have to live with what you've done

But I'm not living
The ground should open
And swallow me whole
Along with my pain

I made excuses
And dragged it out
Defended and refuted
But kept it secret all the same

Because my heart knew
What my brain did not
And the greatest confusion
Was the disagreement between the two

Are you
An ice lolly person
Or rich creamy
Ice cream

Chocolate chips
Or nutty treats
High five
Or a thumbs up

Jump for joy
Or tears of rejoice
Hide behind your fringe
Or hands on hips

I want to know
Are you a nights in
Or nights out
Lights on or off

Style over comfort
Or comfort over style
Relax on the beach
Or adventure trails

Outdoors or indoors
Jelly sweets
Or hard boiled
Fruity or minty

Shower or bath
Would you rather
Be too hot
Or too cold

Do you prefer tea or coffee
Words or numbers
Are you a fight or flight
Hugs or kisses

God or therapy
Life or theories
Books or the world wide web
Lie in or early mornings

Do you live for today
Or plan for tomorrow
Lead or be lead
Give or get

I remember summertime days
We spent under the brightest
Blue skies
Watching the whitest fluffy clouds
Making shapes
On top of the hill
Right by the climbing frame
Joining daisies for chains  
That would become
Friendship bracelets
Tiaras
And anklets
Necklaces and rings

Take your loyalty
And take your trust
I don't need it

May you be blessed with
The honour
Of respecting yourself
And being honest
Trust your actions
And be loyal
To what you want

There is no need to lie
No purpose in deception
You hold your own life
In your own hands
As I do mine
Because cheaters are liars
Who live a lie themselves
To cover another lie they created

So whenever temptation comes knocking
Or should you fall at it's feet
Take your loyalty
And your trust
And keep it to hold yourself for yourself

Privatised education
Who makes the value judgement
This is the curriculum
One way dictation
Guinea pig nation
Grammar schooled politicians
State school interventions
Exclusion barriers set
For achievement prevention
Protection of the upper class
Speak out and its detention
National competition
Increasing grade inflation
Professionals and academics
Know the agendas
Compromise your ethics
Its in your best interests
And join them in
Reinforcing the system
Double bind situation
So preach equality
But have ability grouping
That will diminish self-esteem
And confidence
De-motivate and you get drop-outs
Disaffected generations
Power dominance
Controlling
And hierachy infestations
Of contradictions
Maths Science and English
That's what they're wanting
Music Art and Drama
And it's not worth it
You won't get a proper job
Value diversity
So you test them all the same
Assignments and exams
Product vs process
Learn for the test
Not for the sake of knowledge

Love's anniversary
Came and went
Even one year
Is an achievement
Compared to a lifetime
Like before

Old school love
Love of courting
Wooed you in
He asked your daddy
Then took you out dancing
Said
Goodness gracious Grace
Your a sight for sore eyes
You blushed and replied
You too scrub up nice

Got you home by curfew
Showed you he was serious
Few more dates
Nothing improper
Treated you with respect
Then you got wed
White dress and chapel
Sweetheart
The baby came after

Now everything is backward
He sends a text
And you sneak out to meet him
Come back pregnant
So he accuses you of cheating
The he's gone missing
Along came another flirt
And you're taken
The baby became baggage
Another man's problem

One by one
They all came and went
One even
Signed the pre-nuptials
Registry office
Let's give this a go
But soon it broke down
You gave up
Like a heart on loan
That you couldn't afford the rent for
So love moved out
And he says
You can keep the kid
We'll go halves on the dog

Kingdoms and empires
Built upon
Bloodied soil
It was death that brought victory
Death that conquered
Freedom that was brought
In exchange for souls
Guns were built by people
Who were spectators of war
The participants
Were civilians
Who were wound forward
By kings of mansions
That were passengers
Who enjoyed the spoils
Of a land that could not be healed

Take this metal car and plane
And give me a camel or a horse
Take these four walls
I want to trade them
In for a tent
I will pitch it at the bottom of the Mountains
On the banks of Barada
That runs through Damascus
Or the shores of Tigris
That binds Turkey and Iraq
In the suburbs of Amman
Amongst the unique contrast
Of old and new
Or the deserts of Arabia
The unknown regions of Yemen
Maybe on the slopes of the pyramids
In the oasis of Libya
The valleys of Kashmir
On the beaches of Zanzibar
I'll trade in the can of pop
For coconut water
Or thirst quenching
Organic blends of fruit juice
That I will hand pick
Straight from the trees
Sleep to the lullaby
Of rain and birds
In a tree house
In Kuala Lumpur
Awake to the
**** a doodle doo
Of a rooster
In Bangladesh
Then go and collect
The eggs from the hens
I'll trade these windows
For a panoramic view
Technology and social networks
For loyalty and love
Go back to simple living
Be friends with the earth

Retail therapy
To distract me
From my worries
Shop till I drop

On the way home
Arms heavy with bags
A mind heavy with guilt
And a heart worse off

Counting my total expenditure
Money I haven't got
Now I worry about
My next statement
And how I'll pay it off

If life was a book
Who would you
Acknowledge
Thank for all they had contributed

How interesting would
The abstract be
Would I want to read on
Or leave it be

And on your contexts page
What would be the title
Of the chapters to engage
Sub-headings to navigate

Would it be thriller
A comedy
Romance
Or mystery

Maybe a horror
Or a documentary
Auto biography
Perhaps a sob story

It could be a fairytale
Or a disney movie
It could be magical
Perhaps a fantasy

And long after we're all gone
I wonder how many books
Will connect to ours
How many stories we'll all be characters of

They told her
It was the unmentionable disease
Lung cancer
Soon she would cease

But she was only nineteen
Never smoked a day in her life
Hated the **** things

So as she lay
With a respiratory mask
Tears rolling down her cheeks
Dwelling on the past

Family surrounded her
But her dad was missing
He was outside with
What he couldn't live without

Inhaling the fumes he lit

Today was the third time
Someone mistook me for you
I watched as they blushed
In embarrassment
And apologised profusely
But I cannot describe
The sheer joy
I felt within my heart
As they compared me
To the beautiful you
You who always compare
Yourself to me
Want a skin tone like mine
Ask for my skin regime
And buys the same products as me
Your beautiful
You have elegance
And grace
Setting a standard for the rest

I wish I could hold us both together
For as long as it takes
Whatever the weather
Through every endeavour
As your foundations shake
My arms ache
Like joints in our bridge
And heavy though they may be
It makes me happy to see
That you're still here with me
My feet firmly implanted
I am your shock absorber
Won't let you fly away
And disappear
Get crushed to the ground
Or lose yourself
As tornado winds swirl around
Let me repay the favour
Of a life you saved
I remember those rebellious days
Hell bent on self destruction
And there you were
Carefully constructing
Putting me back in place
Anchoring me down
As everything became a mess
I don't think you ever understood
The importance
Of what you did for me
You saved me from
Deliberate mistakes
I wanted to make
A revenge that would
Only bring my own end
So I want to be there
Forever and always
To pay back the repair
You did
As I despaired
Against all odds
Somehow I turned out right
From a generation of wrongs
You don't know this
Or maybe you do
Maybe you don't believe it
But it was you

I'm firing my immune system
It fails at its job
Turns up late
Then has the audacity to be a slob

Last week a virus attacked
And my achy bones
Let me know that
Its defences were slack

Couldn't dodge the cold
Or dribble around the infection
It jumped right into the cough
And stood by as it got invaded

I was going to take it on holiday
But the parasites await
So I'm on the lookout
For a new immune system

At least a boost
Or maybe an upgrade
To protect and prevent
I need a new guard

Whilst I'm at it
I'll look for a new heart
This one causes havoc
And mocks my brain

Does as it pleases
Brings pain
As it pines
For what it can't gain

Maybe they just need to be trained

Just once
Smile
Like a fresh traveller
In amazement at the
Wonders of this world
With new found independence
As your gaze wonders
Taking in this beauty
Of the sights around you
Smile as you turn
And willingly get lured
When life knocks on your door
Into the depths
Go and don't look back
Leave a trail
Weave your stories
Let yourself be known
Take part and celebrate
Traditions in cultures
Unknown
Collect good luck charms
And dream catchers
Pass through
An organic farm
And teach the village kids
Who've never seen
Foreign skin
Let them chase and cheer
The camel as you ride out
To catch the boat
Overseas
To visit the rhinoceros
Who's becoming extinct
Then off to the boutiques
To find little treasures
Special beaded bracelets
With gemstones
Rare as the experience
You've been through
Delicious delicacies
Waiting to be tasted
And spicy smells
Waft across the market
Enticing your senses
Then for dessert
Stroll through the narrow streets
To meet the best of friends
Who meet at the waterfall
For a coffee every evening
Be in on the secret
In the screen shot
You've always seen on t.v
Smile
As you realise
Everything new
Will never become old
As you continue to unravel
A mere drop
In the ocean
And if you ever feel like
You've seen it all
There's nowhere left to go
Travel backward
Not to rewind
Or undo
But to see how the
Places you've been to
Changed and became new

How can you miss me
When I've been right here
And you are the one
Who went missing

My heart recruited you
Showed you affection
We got along with ease
Like we'd known each other in another realm

The realm of souls
And mine was inclined
To the righteous in you
The good had kept us bound

There were too many coincidences
That had to mean something
Like a soft rain of post it notes
That stole my attention

I just realised it's been a year
A year since I started
Spilling my thoughts
Onto paper
Writing for nothings sake
Not an assignment
A task
Or a grocery list
These words
That people call poetry
It became an art
Like a love
Born from afar
Yet close to my heart
A passion
Overcome
That flows letters
In writing
In a form
Some think better
And are hesitant
To speak out loud
A silent pleasure
To your eyes
Its tone is uttered
Each reader
To their own
An interpretation
To be known
For you alone

'O believers'
Pray
Pray my love stays safe
That happiness
And health
Follow her like a plague

It is the stubbornness of
A lover
For the sake of his love

She is the direction of my soul
The purpose for my prayers
The one who makes me whole

Give me your word!

If it wasn't for the compassion
Of my Lord
Then what would happen
To people with a fate like mine

What would happen
To the helpless
Without the mercy
And guidance of God's cover

Then this pauper
Would be deprived of her smile
I would not be and
This flower would not grow

I would not taste
The sweetness of love
Feel the beauty of this world
And wish love upon everyone
Like a precious gold
You have to know

So I give alms in her name
Cherish every moment
Hold hands
And use her fingers
To count my prayers
Like rosary beads
Sharing the good deeds
Because she is the answer
To a prayer answered
Before I even asked

*Paradise together is my ultimate prayer

A thought crossed my mind today
I wonder who
Will accompany me
Into my new life

As I set off
As a bride
Who will be the driver
And who will sit by my side

Who will bid me farewell
Eat and be merry
Cry tears in my joy
Dance and hug me close

Who will wish me well
Pray that blessed
We remain
And fragrance my life like a rose

Who will stay
Who will leave
Who will be gone
Who would I need

Then simultaneously
Another thought
Trampled through
Who would lend me a shoulder

A shoulder to cry on
And a shoulder to carry
My body
As I truly leave

Who will be with me
Hold my hand
Close my eyes
And stroke my cheek

Whose tears will splash on my face
The warmth of the hugs
That would no longer touch me
As they weep

Who will be the first to forget
And who will be the last
To whisper goodbye
Who will pray

The prayers I will need
To save my soul
Who will plead in my favour
As I go to meet my creator

As dawn faded to dusk
I watched shadows
Slide under the walls
Leaving me completely alone
And the moon forlornly
Gazed down                    
To where its golden light
Failed to shine
So I found solace in the rain
That raced down to greet me
Drowning out
The noise of my thumping heart
That pumped faster
In spite of the pain
Threatening to overspill
Or maybe it did
That's why the moon
Became blood red
And despite being full
It too
Was empty
Hollow like a burning lantern
Just like me •

My
funeral
   procession
     will parade
       behind the
         horse and
           carriage of
              your life
                solemn
             and respectful
            even as I leave
           it will be in silence
           like the smothering
             of my dreams
                 your life
      she hides behind her veil
    as my face is placed by the
    window            for all to see
     wrapped in the white cloth
    as your life adorns her hands
   with something blue and gold
                                   you are that
  something
     she borrowed
       and I followed
behind
           like
                 something
                                   old

Come now
The last night is fast approaching
The curtain is falling
I wait for you this time
It’s the last hour
The last night
The last time
Come now for the sake of God
It’s the last breath
I will spend
Asking you
Don’t be late
Not now
With the last breath you have left
My friend come to God
Before you leave me bereft
From my lips to yours
I beg that my plea is heard
Repent
Ask for forgiveness
Ask for the one who can save you
I promise
He won’t ever turn away from you

Your friends
They came
Washed your body
Shrouded you
Stayed for your burial
Drank a shot or two in your name
And left again
Who cares after
The last breath is taken
They organise your last event
And there’s nothing left to say

You didn’t listen to me
Whilst you lived
And life betrayed you
To the people of this world
I salute you
Tomorrow I too
Will bid you farewell
And depart on
My last journey

She greets me with words of complaint. Hours spent retelling a version of conflict. To get off her chest. Believing I can bare or hold that something she offloads, her hearts discontent. A confidante that can halve these problems. To whom she can share these troubles. Someone who could at least listen
If not save her.

I can't

I can't hold this burden of the truth you tell me. I can't be in the know and live for now. All my worries are yours. All these problems that cloud my mind are yours too. I'm not strong enough. I'm not good enough. I don't know what to do. I'm not the person you're looking for. Your words eat away at my being like a poison frothing in my mind. Nothing seems the same. I want to tell you to stop. That I will only be another disappointment. I can't live up to these expectations. She spills her secrets blinded by her pain. Blind enough not to see that they hurt me. That I don't want her to shatter my distorted reality. I want to pretend. I don't want to know. I don't want to listen. I don't want to be told.

*I wish I was strong enough for the both of us

Me and Mom
We don't get on
She says right
I say move along

We have different values
Opposing mindsets
With conflicts
But she will always be my safety net

My mom she's protective
And I'm like a hyper bird
Running before I walk
Talking without thinking first

I chase dead ends
Flying down the highway
Trusting the traffic of people
Who've tried and tested

But my mom she knows
Has a special radar
Which glows
An intuition that later shows

That's not for you my child
Your heart won't find ease
Yet still I plead
Mom please

So she keeps firm her hold
At times tugs back
A sharp whiplash
To keep me on track

I remember when she said
I don't quite like
That friend of yours
Mark my words

Not long after
A lesson was to be learnt
That friend ashamed
And let me take the blame

Moms have wisdom
Of paths they didn't choose
A time they never knew
Always thinking the best for you

Sometimes its hollow
Confusion seeps from nothing
Emptiness overflows

Somewhere
Somewhere there is a place
Where someone belongs
And you are that happy thing
Someone's been waiting for
All along

Soul's don't know
Of distance
But you will know
In that instance
The meaning to
Your existence

Someone will come
Or you will go
Maybe you'll meet half-way
Like a reflection awaiting your gaze

Someone will take your hand
Someone will love you
For all that you are
They will appreciate
And be more worthy by far

So don't settle for less
Or degrade your worth
Someone somewhere
Is already yours

Stay a little while longer
Won't you please
Dream a little more
My dear for me

Dreams of sunny skies
And blue sea's
Palm tree scenes
Together so free

The wind blowing softly
Caressing my skin
Golden sun kissed tans
Sand between our toes

Dream of better days
Of health
Happiness and
No financial burden

Dream of open land
Green pastures
Small cottages
Life at its simplest

Away from these grand things
Pressures of consumerism
Achievements and competition
Is where we'll find content

Dream of rebellion
Refusal to participate
In the race
Lets just take a leisurely stroll

So dream up a fiction
Far from reality
Where we let go
And just be

Dare to DREAM
And go on a whim
Trust and hope
Sink or swim

Dare to FLY
And see your wings
Land on a cloud
Guarantee a win

Dare to HOPE
And take aboard
Believe in life
Struggle and strive

Dare to LOVE
Give and take
Honest and sincere
Be endeared

You crawled into my chest
And took residence
Like a squatter
An unwanted guest

There you found space
Beneath my ribs
In a heart
That's been left a mess

You thought it could be fixed
With a goodnight kiss
But made it worse
When morning came

You turned around and left
I lay with a shortness of breath
As though you had punctured a lung
And felt it hiss whilst I slept

It pierces my heart
And a sharp pain
      Erupts
As memories forgotten
      Emerge
And I realise it still hurts
That feeling meant
I still cared
Buried regrets
      Surfaced
Only to be haunted
By moments
That are too late to fix

What does it feel like
To go grocery shopping
And having to check your budget
Just pick up the cheapest brand

I'd imagine it truly must be
Living on the edge
The fringe of society
Barely making a living

No savings
And expenditure increasing
More out going
Than incoming

Survive for today
We can't plan for tomorrow
God forbid an unexpected
D
  O
     W
         N
            F
            A
            L
            L

Listen to the silence
Of my lips
Just because
The problem lies within me
I'm only a human
Who can't let escape
What's inside of me
Take a shot in the dark
Blind aim
You can't do nothing wrong
When I'm on the outside
Looking in

Bad gateway
Blocked me out
Stood a barrier
No more it shouts

I can't access
Can't help but fret
All my secrets
It has kept

Hello poetry
Hello are you there
I tried again and again
All efforts in vain

I'm ready to read
To upload
And relieve
Bad gateway a dead end road

What does it mean
Will my poems
Ever again be seen?

Save me
From the pretty
Innocence of her eyes
The deception in her smile
They make it easier to fall
No doubt would cross my mind
She speaks lies
And truth she hides
Save me
From the way I am blind
Reveal the mask
With a spoonful of wise
Make me realise
I had fun
With a disguise
We rode out all the highs
Reached the skies
And she switched sides
Changed lines
But strings me along
Cos she knows I still pine
Save me
Make me see the sign
Neon bright
Letters out of line
Burnt out lights
A befitting sight
She can't be mine
If that glass
Still contains wine
I heard it all last time
It trickled down the grapevine

You made me a drunkard
One who is intoxicated
By your gaze
My life is my love
My love is you
Your happiness
Is married to mine
Your smile is held
In my eyes
A devout believer
With not a moments rest
Memories of you
Pilgrimage my mind
Everything that is
Instantly became yours
Thud thud thud
My heart beats
In your chest
Take care
Hold it safe
It holds my breath
In a stubborn way
That would drown
In the name
Of my beloved

Where she live
It rains bullets
And snows ash
From fires
Started with a crash
She breathe dirt
And debris
On a daily basis
The sky is black
The fields are too
The only thing in common
Is that they have a McDonalds too

My breath
Breathes in a lie
Of true love
A darkness
Wrapped in light
A song sang
In sleep
Beneath the real moonlight
In a dream

I live
In the separation of my life
From that which I could not live without
And when I pray to forget you
I recite your name
Like a mantra
When one tries to remember
In the company of my loneliness
I am alive

If I was meant to cry
Why did you make me laugh
Why did I lose
Hope in trust
And since when did love
Begin feeling like a sin
If she was meant to leave
Why did we meet
Why does he treat me like a stranger
Not a few moments to spare
When last month we moved in together
If you had to break my heart
Why did you make it yours

These eyes
Search for you
What used to be
It still is
I'm still standing here
You're not where you should be
And I realise that you
Always intended to leave
Just made excuses
And now so far away
You've made a home to stay

The taste of love songs
Swirls in your mouth
And all things sweet and pretty
Soft and delicate

She is more than
What you could ever asked for
Heads bow in respect
Hearts flutter in awe

She's the wealth
To all happiness
The secret to your dance
The meaning of romance

She's simple
Kind caring and considerate
Believes the best in everyone
I've never heard her shout

That's why she gives
And not takes
Even Forgives
Everyone's mistakes

First one by your side
And the last one to leave
Hold on tight
And do all you can to please

Without her you would be
*Incomplete

Plasters a smile on her face
And paints her cheeks
A rosy tint
Lips a candy gloss treat

Sleek black lined eyes
And cat like flicks at the tips
Keeps herself maintained
That chick has some curvy hips

Bouncy shine to her hair
She gives you a pearly smile
Lures you in
You can't help but follow behind

The accessory on your arm
Dream girl of your teens
Spokes girl of ecstacy
The right amount of tease

Hard to please
Paper chaser
Home breaker
Fake lover
Game player
Breaks your heart and leaves ya