He walks like there is an orchestra beneath his feet
He's got a hop to his skip like step that brings the rhythm out from the music of his smile
And the smile, its like global warming
A smug smirk that should look arrogant but it suits him
It's cute and matches the confidence in his eyes
Good Lord those eyes
That you never want to look away from
They hold the world you want to live in
Show you the soul you want to live with

Naturally optimistic
And incredibly resilient
She captures you as a prisoner of infatuation
Her eyes hold promises of things you couldn't handle
Selling you dreams
She keeps telling you things
Once upon a time you looked at her as though she held all the stars in her eyes
And now everything you loved about her gets on your last nerve
The resilience became stubbornness and an unwillingness to compromise or bend at your will
Her mindless talk was just another distraction in your busy life
And that's when she knew
That her deepest darkest fear
Was not spiders or heights
It was you
Who put her on a pedestal
Who made her believe in herself
You who fought against the world for her
Her fear was you falling out of love with everything that made you love her

With your eyes glowing gold
Reach for me like I'm a fast fading light
Hold onto me like we are on a lifeboat and a really strong current would slam us over
Happiness is contagious
And it seeps into my bones as deeply as the warmth on a sunny day
Chasing away the chills in my soul
Pick me up like I'm a fallen star who has seen how majestic the skies are
Show me the way back to where I once shone so bright from

How does one lose a heart
They've already lost
How does one push someone away
When everything about them pulls you right back into their arms

I have heard the wound is the place where light enters you
And the smallest things can hold the entire universe
It's all semantics from a philosophical viewpoint
Where galaxies can be tasted on the edge of lips
We all have the desire to be lamps, lifeboats and ladders
To save lives and be heroes
I'm telling you to it's okay
To save just one
And to let that be your own
It's allowed and everything else does not matter
From the inside I cannot explain it
And from the outside you will never understand
I have searched for answers holding the refrigerator door open
But what I really want to know is how far Gods house is
I want to take refuge at the scapegoats residents
There I want to overstay my welcome

No
I don't feel comfortable around you no more
The thought of meeting you no longer brings excitement
But dread
Of how am I going to fill in the gaps
And look like I'm interested
It's strange
But surely I've been blind
To the hint of jealousy in your voice
It's always been there
Yet I'm only just starting to notice
There is a tremor of comparison and rivalry in all that you speak
I'm starting to find I don't care how you've been
The words that dreamt big
And once captured me
Have been swallowed by the bigger lies you tell you and I
And perhaps just maybe
The closeness I felt
Was an attachment out of habit
It could be that we never really hit it off at all
Because now I see inconvenience
And time and distance
And all other separating factors
That shouldn't even be an issue

I remember when you were there for me,
Through my many years you helped me really see,
That you always are there for me,
You stood to me like a friend,
There for me until the end.

I will never forget the things you helped me through,
I saw my inspiration,
It is you,
You were there for me when I needed you,
I now will always have great memories of you.

You are someone I want to be like,
I found out who that person is,
That person is you,
I hope you remember through your days,
You have touched my heart in so many ways.

If we say goodbye to you,
We'll just fall apart
Because you have always been in our hearts,
We don't need to lose you,
You cared about us and we cared about you too.

I remember the day we first met you and you met me,
It was like it was really meant to be,
You are someone we hold close to our hearts,
There I know we will never be apart.

From the bottom of my heart.

It was funny before I over thought it
Then completely annihilated it
I killed the joke
In the early hours of the morning
When my brain wouldn't shut up and shut down
I imagined every scenario
And giggled in an empty room to myself
Vivid it was
Because that's the brain of a poet
Blessed with the ability to paint pictures
And each sense will trigger a memory
Of the countless smiles she has
Yet I'm cursed with forgetting the rituals of mundane chores
I ruin things until I can't think straight anymore
All the wires criss cross
And get jumbled
Until the fuse eventually blows out
The silence
I like it
But it haunts me too
The emptiness
And off I go again
A complex combustion
Of how I can't even make my mind up
So I reason with it out loud
Stop thinking so much
You know you're not normal
Who does that?
But seriously I will sit and wonder
If it's unfaithful of people who have chickens as pets
To buy store brought eggs?
And between me and you
A thousand scenarios ensue

I'm afraid one day
I'll take it too far
And hurt you
When you trust me the most

It's what I do best
I'm crazy and dumb and out of control
So don't trust me
Don't believe a word I say

Keep your distance
And we'll both be okay
You'll see I'm unreliable
One day I'll push you away

It's not because I want to see you cry
I just have a way of messing things up
Taking it too far
Until its too late to go back

And I'll want to fix it so bad
I'll want to promise your pain away
I'll want to fight your demons
But I'm the one who needs to be slayed

Swept away by the shadow of impulses
In the darkness of dreams
You make me break all my rules

Its 3:23am
And I'm standing with my nose flattened against the cold window
Watching lightening flash in the dark of the night
Shedding light in the blind corners out of sight
Thunder roars demanding to be felt
As souls rest in the care of God
The weather teaches me how to write
About the healing dark
With the wind that passes through your street to mine
In this small world
I'm a clay figure beneath the stars tonight
With a poets mind that resists losing conscience
I'm convinced it's the weather that made poets

You wrote me letters because they were a dying art
And you always tried to save things even the inanimate
Your beauty was in the way you cared
So much so you lost
And left yourself behind
Where your eyes spoke verses in the shadows concealed by smokey lids
But me I saw you retire in front of my eyes
And lingered on the line of sensitive and this is too personal
So I stood just behind the line
A coward with outstretched hands
But my feet stayed frozen
My lips weaved tales of perfect imperfections
Enticing you with a speech of warriors bravery and strength
Found in the centre of a paralysed heart
Is the goodness that was covered but never gone
And I remember walking with you to **** the time
Where adventure found us unplanned
I walked on
But who saved you?
All I know is that you're still superman
You're spiderman
You're batman
You are all those marvel superheroes you love
But I wish you weren't
I wish you were the villain
Who fought for his needs
Not the lone orphan of the world who hides a part of himself
Living as two different people
Helping others but struggling to keep your head above the waves
Who saves you?

I love that you dream out loud
You say things that make everyone laugh at your far fetched fantasies
Yet in conviction you voice your thoughts as though they are in the mailbox coming into reality
I love that you dream and imagine things happening that are not really realistic
I love that you dream them anyway and believe that they'll happen someday

He set out to make her his
Broke her walls of protection and built a castle amongst the ruins
Violated her dreams and flew kites in the smoke of passion from the fire he left behind
He tore apart memories of existence before he entered her life
Stole her breath and tricked her heart into stopping yet believing it was the most alive it had ever been
Her blood boiled with the whispered words that meant nothing
Gripping fingers caged her between the circle of arms
He tied her life to his and made the government a witness so she could never escape
Uncovered her weaknesses
And saw the insecurities and physical blemishes
He made her vulnerable
Until she accepted love was the biggest gamble she would play
So she played to win
She would possess him too

If you must
Break the promises you made
Shatter the dreams I have
But please for Gods sake
Don't break my heart
I can't bear this unease with myself
Every second is persuading me not to give up
Don't let go
Or life will be nothing but miserable
But a broken heart is quick to sink
It won't even take the rope
Ready aim fire
I hope your arrow of poison expires
Before it reaches its destination
I can't live with the disgust of letting it get to the point where this is all that ever mattered
Where I can't see anything beyond

Secrets of sins
Concealed within
Festering beneath my skin
Deceit and lies
All your faults I hide
Lips are sealed until I die

I wish you would stop revealing all your secrets for me to contain
I wish you would stop involving me in the shame

And I wonder if the Lord would understand
I wonder if He'd care that in your faults I didn't want to play a hand
I'm afraid I've ****** myself
Through passive acceptance

I am painfully aware that I have not yet lived. There is too much I have seen that is not yet real, eyelids that shield the imagination of a strange vivid reel. If you peeled them open you might be able to see, it takes me far away where my soul divides itself between the realm of daydreams and reality. Too often I find myself waking to hands waving in front of me and I don't remember where I've been. My mind is a nomadic gypsy. It wanders amongst an abstract maze to where a million things could happen - brilliant and amazing things - yet only one thing does, and that's the one I live. But in the maze I see all the unexpected where life is a lot of luck and I don't always draw the short straw. My dreams are not shackled by the steps of my feet I am a **** that rips through the layers of soil. There is no fear, there is only a new start every morning without fail. My dreams are unguarded and they have no limits nor barriers.

'You're sad,'* he stated as though it was a sure fact. Like he had studied her happiness and measured its authenticity.

'Why would you say that?' she replied defensively.

'Because all those smiles you've given since you walked through that door...have been fake.' He said.

She froze mid turn as if she had been caught red handed, 'How could you know that?' she whispered.

'I know what you look like when you're happy', he said softly. 'You tilt your face and your smile stretches in a race towards your ears. A crinkle around your eyes appears like the stars in the night.' He told her about a person she never knew. One who had conversations between her eyebrows as she spoke, her hands danced as they spun and caressed the air. He weaved a character so familiar yet unknown.
'You're not happy Georgia,' he said sounding desperate. For what she didn't know.

He stopped speaking and the silence deafened between them. Neither of them moved and all of a sudden a chill ran down her spine as she dragged in a lungful of oxygen, her breathing jagged as it pounded and echoed in the room once creaking of the floorboards beneath them. Not a car drove by outside, nor did the wind howl as her heart drummed louder than the ticking clock. She knew that he had crept into the depth of the heart she swore she guarded so fiercely and made a home amongst the crevices unnoticed. Somehow she didn't realise that he had helped her fill in the cracks with him still in there. He was the cement that soldered her broken bits whole. She would do anything possible of her to make this man happy, just as he had made her smile with a genuineness she never knew existed. So as he awaited her reply she continued drying the dishes as if this conversation never happened.

No darling its not fear
I stick around because the heart is a bigger trap than your threats

I'm jealous of the way
You can feel things
Oppressed by anger of how I can't show you I care
And just telling me to be myself
Is not working
When I don't know who I am
Is myself the child he walked away from
Or the one who cried herself to sleep
I didn't like that weak person I used to be
Maybe myself was when I trusted to a fault
And let everyone in
I didn't like that girl either
She forgot herself amongst friends
I wonder if now I am finally myself
But it's just not someone you like
I'm tired of finding myself in clothes that are not mine
At parties I don't fit in

I don't know what I'm doing with my life
Just that I need to fix it
I wonder if you could help
Show me where to start and how to do it

Where do I need to be?
What am I supposed to be doing?
They say every life has its calling
I think I've lost direction

You make the air stand still
When your fingertips trace my veins
The way you feel my heartbeat through your lips
I would scatter myself like dust beneath your feet

You've got a small heart
Sensitive and emotional
I can't even joke around
You take everything as personal
Can't even say the truth
Its too real to be acceptable
So what if everyone is thinking it

You've got a small heart
Low self-esteem to go with that
Always on defensive mode
Carry on like that
And you won't get far
Getting offended
About some stupid silly remark

You've got a small heart
No one's out to get you
But you have a problem with them
Wanting to be centre attention
You've got a small heart
Widen your horizon
And be tolerant
We all come with opinions

Watching her innocence fade away
Each moment a shadow
That grew darker in shades
She yearned for a light to be shone her way
But her smile deceived of the hidden kept at bay
The light she craved
Was hers to create
Dim and soft
It radiated from within
A gem amongst dust

The kind of tired even a coma could not fix
Tired of watching my reflection blink
Waking up very single morning
Tired of being in the same old place

Where nothing ever changes
And your life feels scripted
Tired of waiting
My life is wasting

Everything I did for you
I did not expect a thank you
Nor did I hold you to any favours
There was no debt and nothing is owed

The only person you ever owe anything to
Already has everything in His posession
Everything I did was for His sake alone
My Lord

You left me with a memory
A story I'll never forget
You did me a favour
Gave me a lesson to remember

Lashes jewelled with tears
Days of regrets
Promises that were foreign
Apologies that meant nothing

You left me with low expectations
Not necessarily a bad thing
Used to the abuse
You left me with thick skin

You left me with life skills
And defensive mechanisms
Taking nothing for granted
Always appreciating simple things

You left me stubborn
With unshakeable morals
You left me strong
Able to pick myself up after a fall

I am left thinking the worst of life is over
I've met a bad apple I've met them all
You've left centuries of wise in just a young soul
You left a winner who takes all

What use
Is missing you like this?
If you don't reside in my heart
What am I to say
Of the hopes I had
The world changed
But you stayed the same
You give me hope and break my heart again
What use
Is torturing me like this?
Cleanse your heart of the evil
You won't find God with vain curses like this
What use
Is mentioning His name to testify your deeds
I explained many times
That your sly tricks won't work here
As our eyes met
Your secrets spilled
What use
Is hiding the truth now?

Me and you
We're pieces that don't fit
Anywhere
But I'm finally starting to realise
That maybe we don't have to
The puzzle does not need to be complete
We're not broken

Set free my captive mind
The pen needs no water nor light
It spills the ink of my soul in letters
The blunt lines and dark smudges
Staining my fingertips as I rub to blur it out
Making it look soft and old
A part of the past
I can still see the grooves where the ink ran out
Of when I wrote you for myself
And in a candle lit room
When I tilt the paper
I can make out the laugh in your smile
And see where we hug
So what if it's barely visible
I don't believe in bad omens

She gave up before she lost
And entered a race
Against her conscience
Because the prize she sought after
Was not anything this world could offer

Take me to a place where only you know exists and touch me without using your hands. Tell me about the absence your eyes speak of, so loud I can't hear myself. Create something out of me, carve me as beautiful as your words. Make me lose myself in a way I'm not lost, like the way the sun is at its most glorious moment even as it leaves. Broken dreams and soulless kisses, sins so many you've been sold to the devil. Tell me how they left, some died and some just went. I'll collect your pieces like souvenirs, all broken parts of an angel. Something about the way I can feel secrets beating in your chest. Vacant eyes that ask for permission to die, to leave and let live, let you go to meet your peace. You hold an ache that doesn't want to be healed. It reminds you of where you've been and the reality of life's ***** tricks. She left her love letters in the marks on your skin. We're made of mistakes and regrets and lies we'd whisper all over again. I claim your brokenness that completes mine. You say you're not good, well then your bad compliments my wrongs. And even if we never do anything right, I want to be, just be, in your presence.

I spoke
The pen wrote
And the paper listened

Some things are worth dying for
Some beliefs I'd give up my life for
How else should you feel alive
If there was nothing worth fighting for

She stood in the courtyard
And signed her breath over
To the shadows where her heart now resides
Beneath the stars
Her hopes buried
At the graveyard where she met God
She promised Him coins at the wishing well
And sacrificed all her wealth
Begged for the sake of love
If only He would listen
Life was His to give
But it was snatched before she was willing
Wondering aimlessly down the boulevard
Welcoming the unsympathetic burn of liquor down her oesophagus
Why was she given what was not meant to be hers?
A day of motherhood
Then a lifetime of pain that will never be filled
How can she breath
How can she live
Away from her child
Who turned all that she knew into a stranger