It’s one year later now
And all your pictures are gone
It’s two girls later and yet you’re still the one
That I’m writing about and I don’t understand
Why I can’t let you go
There was little to nothing that was so special
About the week and a half we shared
You’re not the only one I’ve stayed awake until
3 A.M. for and you’re not the only girl who has ever made me smile
I’ve had more empty promises than the one you made
To me concerning backpacks and hospital beds
Maybe it’s because you’re the only one who has used me the way you did
I guess I was like medication for your anxiety
You insisted I didn’t have to be here and I told you
I knew what I was doing
When I took the class the next semester it almost killed me
Because I had to do it alone
And I felt so lost
When the doctor asked me if I was on any medication
It was all I could do not to scream your name
*~W.C.

They say that opposites attract but I stopped listening a long time ago
I never knew who was talking anyway and I've never agreed with them
But I think she might be a lot like me and I have nothing to base this on
Aside from the fact that she leaves rooms like a burn victim
If this room is on fire I think its because of the matchbox in her sleeves
Yet I can't prove any of this I haven't even heard her voice
She's a whole new language I don't understand yet
*~W.C.

If there are ghosts in this place I think they're of me and you
Not of everything we were but of everything we were meant to be
You've always been the girl who's astounded she can't breathe
When she's spent two weeks filling her lungs with water
What a dangerous person to love
But I still remember what it meant for me
To drape my sweatshirt on the back of your desk chair
Light from your tv in the dark shines bright in my mind eye
Even though I've tried so hard to keep it buried under this garden
But how can I expect to be happy picking flowers that make me bleed
And I swear to God if I could face the guillotine to be rid of them I would
But ghosts seem to thrive in the dying fire
*~W.C.

I loved you like a brother for so much longer than you ever deserved
Somehow those fourteen years have slipped away from me
And I think that if we're being honest you don't know a thing about me
Let me tell you that there is good reason for this
I hope that someday it hits you out of nowhere like a broken bungie cord
We gave you a home when home was the last place you wanted to be
But I can't escape the fact that all you can do is mock my very existence
Almost like you feel you could take my place so easily if I was gone
Removed somehow from a picture I was painted into years before you
We all know that no monster can wear a mask forever
I've always known this day would come but I thought we had passed all this
Maybe I should've known the day would come a second time
But somehow I always find you on my doorstep without a key
I fear that I will never be rid of you because even when you're gone you find a way
You don't even hear the words that come out of your mouth
It used to be empty apologies every other day
But now its just an offense without an amend I honestly thought you were smarter than this
You make me sick and I'd trade you for the plague just to feel peace
I've never heard someone talk so much with nothing to say and no ears to listen
You once told me that the only reason you would never leave her
Is because you know you would never find someone else who could love you
What a waste of a beautiful girl who will never know any better
Than to sell her heart in fifth grade and never learn how to take it back
People like you are everything that's wrong with the world
I had hoped I would learn something from this at the very least
But maybe all I can take away from this is that some people can't be changed
I never wanted to think like this but this is the change you've made in me
At night I tear you apart in my dreams and I'm so sorry but I wake up with a smile
*~W.C.

Sometimes I get so worried
Worried that you'll hurt me
I don't mean to
Just how my mind works

Like, I want to put all of my trust in you but it's hard
I know it takes time

Sometimes I just need reassurance
I feel like I'm annoying
I feel my path is not connecting with yours
I get so scared
So scared I'll get hurt

I've been stood up so much
I hate it

Before you I had no one
No one I trusted with my emotions
I couldn't
No one could handle them or even try to understand

I don't want to put all of my problems and thoughts on you
I need to let it out though
I know it's eating me alive
I know I still hurt
The distance is what worries me
I know why people cheat
I'm a psych major. 
I know people
I know how they are

My mind is a curse
Sometimes I hate it and want to give up
Everything is just too much at times.

For someone to walk into my life like you
It's unbelievable
Its scary
I'm scared of what you can do
You have to power
Don't miss use it.
Please don't

If you must, then let me down easy.
I am the person who puts 100% into a relationship.
I will do everything in my power to please you and myself.
I like balance.

Have I ever told you my deepest fear?
Well it's love.
As beautiful as it is, it can end in seconds

I have so much to give
So much to show you
If you give me time I will

I don't mean to be of offence to you
I just want you to undertand

At some points of my life, I feel completely lost, distracted or in pain,but I keep going, believing that one day everything will be Better.

You tell me you're empty
And I know you want my sympathies
My acknowledgement of the problem
But all I can give you is the gawking gaze
Of a child on his first trip to the zoo
Leaving smudges on the snake tank as he tries to fathom
How something could be so alien and smooth and powerful.
You tell me you're empty
And all I can think is
That I have not a moment of my life to compare that to-
A day without suffering, without pain or danger,
Without that or joy so intense it tips right back over into treachery
I have no memory of any such day
To draw from for empathy.
I stand and stare at you
Empty you
And I know your sadness should be respected
And I know I shouldn't wonder so perversely
What it must feel like
Not to feel
But I can't help it
I feel like I'm standing on the other side of glass
Staring into the beady eyes of a boa constrictor
Wondering irresistibly
What its embrace must feel like for the mice it devours.
I know you are suffocating
But I
Am drowning
And I wonder
What empty feels like.