Mama I didn't go looking for it
I don't even know how I found it
But in the woods
I came across the kind
The kind of boy you warned me about
Don't ask me how I knew
I just did
When my stomach twisted into knots
And my legs quivered
My eyes didn't look away
I forgot what I went there for
He watched me like I was prey
And I remember you said
That I wouldn't return whole
That I should run and never look back
Mama I knew what I was supposed to do
But you never told me he'd take me with just one look
He was only a boy
A man trying to be a cold, hard statue
But his eyes were ablaze
Call it an illusion if you must
But I swear mama
In his eyes I saw everything
But mama if he was bad would he tell me to go
He did
After that, nothing
But that was enough for me
His fists were closed
Clenched
His mouth straight
Taught
It was I who wanted to hear my name from his lips
It was me who decided to be the archeologist
For the lonely
Torn down
I found that he'd only ever seen talking with fists
Only ever heard anger and hatred
Seen pain that came in waves
I found that he was foreign
To the words that fell like raindrops
Faithless in the silent whispers of a world full of noise
It was I who refused to leave
Even when he didn't pull me close
I became part of him
Apart from him
So don't you ever wander
Why I tried mama
I want to see his lips rise like the sun
I want him to try just one more time
This time I'll be there
Like a boat
Like a vine