What are you made of
You cold hearted *****
He roared
And I didn't even blink
Long after he left the room
I whispered
Heartbreak
Pain
And chaos
I've tamed that girl that used to cry
The wild animal that would whimper
I controlled it
Made it strong
Buried her deep deep down inside
She doesn't even try to surface
I no longer see the point in crying over things
I can't control
I took the tears and froze them
For they are nothing but a useless reaction
Just like the noise of anger
And the withering of heartbreak
So I chose to become a statue
Sometimes this thing in my chest
It does things I no longer recognise
It makes me feel so strange inside
But it's been so long since I gave these things the honour of a name
I let them pass like the way I release breaths
Silently
Secretly
Without being acknowledged

I thought the harsh thumping against my chest
And the tingles down my spine
Would stop if I had my lips pressed against yours
But it didn't
It made it worse
And I felt it explode in my chest
Some kind of Morse code
But all I can hear is the white noise
Every fibre of my being
Every atom of my blood
Choosing the very moment my eyes set on you
To prove their existence
In that moment I'm painfully aware of everything
Yet there's nothing I can focus on
Its like you're the moon and I'm the tide

And if I don't find you
What will I tell this heart of mine?
How would I repress it's asking for you?
Should I trick it like a child
Say that you couldn't come
Something came up
But keep giving it hope
Or console it with the distraction of something else