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my lips
trail down your spine
followed by
my trembling fingertips

my palm
pressed flat on
the small of
your arched back

all I wanted was
for my touch to resonate
in your mind like
your voice does in mine

& with each gasp & moan
you let escape past your lips
my name sounds like music
when you whisper it softly

now with you wrapped up in only a sheet
I watch your chest rise & fall as you breathe
you'll never understand just how lovely you look
in nothing but my t shirt curled up next to me

I'm in love
Let me be
White lies sparkle
Like diamonds in her eyes
Pretty on the outside
But only a demon in disguise
She could rip your heart out
& smile in your face
Drop it on the concrete in front of you
& smash it into paste
Its true that this world
Is a ****** up place
Pretty on the outside
But on the inside
Its a whole different case
I may be hard to handle sometimes.
I frustrate myself.
I know I can be pretty stubborn.
Its just that...
I get so scared.
I over-think & start to think you don't care.
I say things I don't mean,
I make myself look so stupid.

These words all look like garbage to me.
I'm not sure you can call this writing let alone,
place it in the category of poetry.

worthless, its all worthless.
so i'll end my worthless night
locked in the bathroom with a blade & shut off the light.

I'm sorry for the words exchanged tonight.
I never meant it.
I never meant it.
Growing up,
The journey started,
Ever since middle school
When I was 11 years old
Immature and Self Conscious
I was really chubby and my face were full of pimples/acne
Worrying what other people thought of me
I'm still confused what I want to be when I grew up
An art teacher, a fashion designer, interior designer
I don't really know, honestly. Confused.
I became more of a tomboy, less of a girly
It was really devastating and tough at that time.
It ****** and stinked.
I had to take responsibility, independence, and
Taking care of myself, loving myself no matter what circumstances
Until high school
When I was 16 years old
I got freedom
I could where whatever I wanted
But, it had to be appropriate for school
I wore short skirts
I became more girly, less a tomboy.
I grew out of it, I grew up.
I was happy, confident and responsible
I experienced great things, more than I could've ever imagined.
People come and go, but memories stay forever
I loved it
It still is until now
I can't believe it
I think that I want to be a poet
When I grow up.
Suddenly, I had the urge and the courage to write poetry.
Which I have to deal with
That was the end.
Then, I could have my life back
Finally, I moved on from being a girl to an independent woman.
It was the saddest thing I'd ever seen
A single tear rolled down her cheek
But she quickly wiped it clean

Without a single sound or change in expression
The blood flowing from her veins showed how easily
One can give in to depression.
So accustomed to your kisses
Being a semicolon followed by an an asterisk

You said you cant wait
To cuddle & kiss

I'm still a little on edge
About putting my heart at risk

But mostly I don't worry
Because, strangely...

I trust you.





5\22\13  11:37 p.m.
On the other side of the phone
I don’t feel the pain
A slow start to my collapse
Stretched over miles of tears
…Always thinking of you
I’m not sure why it persists
A linger
And the longing for smaller skin
Through a pinhole camera
I only see part of who you are
The glare of distance envelops your breaths
Are there any words
Which won’t numb?
The sun leaves tiny scars from days ago
As if at a later moment you will
Disappear into rain soaked thoughts
That gives shape to form
Are you still there?
(c)

— The End —