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You said you'd tell me

something about

how does it feel to

lose it all,

not all at once,

but just slowly watch it

crawling away one thing

after another,

that feeling when you

sit there watching,

knowing too well

there's not much

you could do about it.

Well, after all,

I tell you,

I tell you how does that feel

to know too much

about yourself

and yet too little about

anything else,

I tell you I cease

to understand,

but no, I understand very well

every feeling you've ever

told me about, because

someone else has already managed

to explain it to me

a few times, which was

half a life before you

but is still just a couple of pages back.

How can I ever stand up again?

Now go ahead,

you tell me.. :
spaces between the lines hold just about the right time to think about it
Exhausted men of working class
Are you satisfied
Each late night you're about to get in bed
With a stranger calling herself your wife
Just to get up before the sun's tired eyes
Never having a moment of letting go
The hopelessness of fast running life
Clutching in your tiny beaten hearts
The poverty of unfinished childhood
Mixing need with burning hate
Anger with weakness and cheap drugs
You run but this boat is slowly sinking
And kids are hungry cold unloved weeping
Kind words cannot find suitable soil
To be planted in their parents' mind
When nothing's sown nothing blooms
Bringing only destruction to own kind
Only helplessness in moonlit little rooms
Exhausted men of working class
Are you feeling satisfied ?
Or are you so lifeless and indifferent
That you've become dead inside ?
Battleground
Of perpetual motion
Reigns upon calm thoughts
Of devastated soul
Called simply me
Though in fact it's
Wasteland from here
Until the rest of nights
Spent without you

But now
Your presence brings
No comfort

It's of no use darling
I turn off the light
And show you my back

Your tears seem scared and empty
Hush please
Don't you weep

Wait out the morning
And the sun trapped
In its journey without end

Then leave my bed
Since you can't leave my mind
Leave and don't look back

Or show me how to love
Give something that's missing
Cleanse me of sorrow in my mind

I know I know I know you can't
Your heart belongs to someone else
And mine is lost spinning

In the darkening night
When dawn is far
Unreachable to my spirit

It seems that it will never come
Stopping this perpetual motion
Of heart until one is none

Until the war is lost (no strength found)
And familiar hands of sorrow touch
My loneliness on mind's battleground
Here I am babe
naked on the bed
of dreams waiting

And here you are darling
trembling gently
like a willow in the wind

Outside the moon sweetheart
spies on your pale legs
jealous to take part

So please hurry love
for I’m desperate
for your gentle touch

When you lay your spirit
on mine we start to burn
but please don’t fear it

Just Remember

What they told you back in time:
"You must shine when you burn baby;
Burn and Shine.”
during my worst times
on the park benches
in the jails
or living with
******
I always had this certain
contentment-
I wouldn't call it
happiness-
it was more of an inner
balance
that settled for
whatever was occuring
and it helped in the
factories
and when relationships
went wrong
with the
girls.
it helped
through the
wars and the
hangovers
the backalley fights
the
hospitals.
to awaken in a cheap room
in a strange city and
pull up the shade-
this was the craziest kind of
contentment

and to walk across the floor
to an old dresser with a
cracked mirror-
see myself, ugly,
grinning at it all.
what matters most is
how well you
walk through the
fire.
some say we should keep personal remorse from the
poem,
stay abstract, and there is some reason in this,
but jezus;
twelve poems gone and I don't keep carbons and you have
my
paintings too, my best ones; its stifling:
are you trying to crush me out like the rest of them?
why didn't you take my money? they usually do
from the sleeping drunken pants sick in the corner.
next time take my left arm or a fifty
but not my poems:
I'm not Shakespeare
but sometime simply
there won't be any more, abstract or otherwise;
there'll always be mony and ****** and drunkards
down to the last bomb,
but as God said,
crossing his legs,
I see where I have made plenty of poets
but not so very much
poetry.
good weather
is like
good women-
it doesn't always happen
and when it does
it doesn't
always last.
man is
more stable:
if he's bad
there's more chance
he'll stay that way,
or if he's good
he might hang
on,
but a woman
is changed
by
children
age
diet
conversation
***
the moon
the absence or
presence of sun
or good times.
a woman must be nursed
into subsistence
by love
where a man can become
stronger
by being hated.
I am drinking tonight in Spangler's Bar
and I remember the cows
I once painted in Art class
and they looked good
they looked better than anything
in here. I am drinking in Spangler's Bar
wondering which to love and which
to hate, but the rules are gone:
I love and hate only
myself-
they stand outside me
like an orange dropped from the table
and rolling away; it's what I've got to
decide:
**** myself or
love myself?
which is the treason?
where's the information
coming from?
books...like broken glass:
I wouldn't wipe my *** with 'em
yet, it's getting
darker, see?
(we drink here and speak to
each other and
seem knowing.)
buy the cow with the biggest
****
buy the cow with the biggest
****.
present arms.
the bartender slides me a beer
it runs down the bar
like an Olympic sprinter
and the pair of pliers that is my hand
stops it, lifts it,
golden **** of dull temptation,
I drink and
stand there
the weather bad for cows
but my brush is ready
to stroke up
the green grass straw eye
sadness takes me all over
and I drink the beer straight down
order a shot
fast
to give me the guts and the love to
go
on.
from "poems written before jumping out of an 8 story window" - 1966
don't feel sorry for me.
I am a competent,
satisfied human being.

be sorry for the others
who
fidget
complain

who
constantly
rearrange their
lives
like
furniture.

juggling mates
and
attitudes

their
confusion is
constant

and it will
touch
whoever they
deal with.

beware of them:
one of their
key words is
"love."

and beware those who
only take
instructions from their
God

for they have
failed completely to live their own
lives.

don't feel sorry for me
because I am alone

for even
at the most terrible
moments
humor
is my
companion.

I am a dog walking
backwards

I am a broken
banjo

I am a telephone wire
strung up in
Toledo, Ohio

I am a man
eating a meal
this night
in the month of
September.

put your sympathy
aside.
they say
water held up
Christ:
to come
through
you better be
nearly as
lucky.
the house next door makes me
sad.
both man and wife rise early and
go to work.
they arrive home in early evening.
they have a young boy and a girl.
by 9 p.m. all the lights in the house
are out.
the next morning both man and
wife rise early again and go to
work.
they return in early evening.
By 9 p.m. all the lights are
out.

the house next door makes me
sad.
the people are nice people, I
like them.

but I feel them drowning.
and I can't save them.

they are surviving.
they are not
homeless.

but the price is
terrible.

sometimes during the day
I will look at the house
and the house will look at
me
and the house will
weep, yes, it does, I
feel it.
I met a genius on the train
today
about 6 years old,
he sat beside me
and as the train
ran down along the coast
we came to the ocean
and then he looked at me
and said,
it's not pretty.

it was the first time I'd
realized
that.
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