I no longer hate her choice.

I think maybe I understand

That she lost )1( freedom and )2( truth
The most important things to her

That maybe when she pulled the trigger she thought it was the only thing left. Her choice.

**** how my words , our last conversation have come to haunt me. But when I told her she had to make small choices to build up to bigger ones, I never thought she would lead with this.  

As for me, my regret is that I didn't make her feel safer. Safe to be crazy. Safe to be broken.

Not so much blame,
Bc hindsight is fifty fifty and I was Ill-equipped to know what to do and to see behind the eyes into the part of her that remainded.  

Hindsight taught me to look farther, love harder, and hold on no matter what.

But now, I can't save her.

So to all the precious souls barely hanging on this is my message: hang on.
Hang on till your nails bleed and your souls feel like they can't take anymore. Rest in my love an know there is hope. Some mental illness is just who we are. And some of it is evil. But I know we can overcome. To those who have lost truth, hold on to me and I will fight for your truth. I will fight for your mind and soul. I will fight til I bleed with you and cry out beside you and scream to God with you or for you.

There can be no life saving rope let down to you if you have already let go.


My dear one was a lot of things.
A believer in truth
A cutter
An abuser
A writer
An artist
An activist
A dreamer
Just so full of pain

But so full of hope and possibilities and potential.

I cannot believe that with all of us dreamers uniting together that we can not find cures or ways of dealing and surviving. But we must do it together and for each other and we can not do it if we do not help each other in our weaknesses and our strengths. No matter how bad it is. We can always reach out
And stop
Eachother
From falling.


Love.

The beauty of differing opinions calls to me.

The fact that we can see the same problem and come up with completely different solutions is a testament to the human mind. Beautiful.

We should prize above all: each other

But instead

We are told and taught that anyone different is (1) wrong (2) stupid or (3) evil.

Even I , believer in one God can not believe that this is the way we were created to be.

Minds and hearts are each intrinsically unique and special. So why do we instead hate each other for beautiful creation?

Today we see enemies out of brothers, villains out of friends. Politically, socially, religiously    

To me it seems obvious.

My first command is to love my neighbor like myself

How could anyone be so self righteous to think that THEIR solution alone will benefit those that are not them.

I talk not even of compromise.
Things that benefit everybody can not be compromise but only the best way to love one another.
There have been times where every group has had good/been good.
And the inverse is true as well

What astounds me is we let the crazies, the extremist, the nuts, and the talking heads set the stage for hate; their only goal being the preserving of themselves and power.

Instead of rising up, we worship. And our neighbor becomes our enemy.

I do not have to agree with you my friend. And you do not have to agree with me. That is true beauty. If we were all the same, it would be tragedy. If we were all poets and lived in the words and only for words and sought nothing solid but our own lyrical melody then that would be tragedy. If we were all simpley content with what we had then there would be no dreamers and it would be tragedy. If we were all nuns/monks then what would be our purpose in life? If we were all only concerned with knowledge where would be our compassion? All elements are needed. Required for perspective and humanity.

Why can't a republican and democrat be friends?
Why can and atheist and spiritual be able to converse and love!
Why can't those who think they have nothing in common find common ground?
Why can't we seek a solution to the problem without hating anyone else who tries?

We are to busy pointing out everyone else's failures to unite and find the best solution. We can not respect anyone who has a differing point of view.

Why?

When we assume the other has no value,
We render them valueless in our minds
And seek to destroy them  

Until we stop and stand together
We will continue to let those without compassion or insight for us stand for us and tell lies and lead us astray.

Why can't we bond together.
Why can't we discover truth and solutions beneficiary to all?

Stand up my brethren. All the oppressed, poor, rich, Muslim, Christian, atheist, down trodden, confused human beings on the earth rise together
So we can gain our humanity
Back from the darkness.

Who will save the oceans my friend,
Who will fight to save the endangered?
Who will battle the darkness to find what is pure?
What strength will the rest of the world be able to draw
Without you soldier?
Who will take ***** earth and turn it into art?
Who will make victory from  awful death?
Who will fulfill the dreams of the lost one?
Who will show that we can prevail from this dark experience?
And who will stand with us, me, to find better
To find solutions.
To find others deep in madness and fashion a lifeline of hope?
By ourselves we are weak. Together we cannot be broken-dissuaded-rendered hopeless

Stand my brother. Or kneel. But whatever you do. Don't give up.

Last night we were in the desert. I was alone first. Hiding from bombers. Then you showed. We hung out. Then you and me and b hung on to each other. I wanted you to stay forever. You told us both you couldn't stay forever but you'd be back. Then some strange occult counselor tried to tell me I was crazy. **** I miss you.

Tonight I'm like you
Lesbian sweater.
Beanie.reading informative non fiction articles and holding my cigarette that certain way.

Man baby I miss you.
I want to make lesbian jokes.
And freeze with you.

I would give anything for five more
Mins.
And one more laugh.

This puffs for you.