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 Feb 2014 ShhHoneyBea
Francesca
I've got a pathetic schoolgirl crush
On the guy down the road
Who I have never spoken to
But know enough about.

I see him in the mornings
Waiting for his bus
I see him in the evenings
Getting on my bus.

When I'm near him
I can't look at him
No matter how much I want to
Because I don't want him to know.

I want him to notice me
I don't want him to notice me noticing him.

I want to know him.
No doubt he'll be at my bus stop tomorrow. And the next day.
He poured the coffee
Into the cup
He put the milk
Into the cup of coffee
He put the sugar
Into the coffee with milk
With a small spoon
He churned
He drank the coffee
And he put down the cup
Without any word to me
He emptied the coffee with milk
And he put down the cup
Without any word to me
He lighted
One cigarette
He made circles
With the smoke
He shook off the ash
Into the ashtray
Without any word to me
Without any look at me
He got up
He put on
A hat on his head
He put on
A raincoat
Because it was raining
And he left
Into the rain
Without any word to me
Without any look at me
And I buried
My face in my hands
And I cried
 Feb 2014 ShhHoneyBea
Megan Grace
how sad that I thought
we were going to end
up together- something
you called "soulmates"
and something I called
"settling down"- but
you ripped the parts
of me that I gave you
to shreds and scattered
them in all the places
I have never visited but
always wanted to. now
every city I long for is
tainted with your name,
with my constant need
to do right by you, with
my feelings of inadequacy.
I think I probably hate you.
I can't be patient for any longer because I've been waiting for too long
Everything I've ever done feels worthless and like a disaster
I don't know who will love me when things get bad
Because things are bad
And the people that I need the most are too far away or too consumed to notice
To notice that I'm drowning in a sea of misery and paranoia
My breaths have become shorter and my pupils are dilated
I gaze into other people's eyes and I see nothing
A long time ago, I made a conscious decision to see nothing
And now I'm blind
But with blindness comes increase sensitivity of my other senses
So now my tears fall down my face and they feel like acid on my skin
Every whisper falls into...
This isn't living
This isn't life
Because life happens and this is something else
This is bigger than me
This is something that will still hover over my head when I wake up
And it will haunt me till I go to sleep
The worst part is that I don't know how to effectively cope
With everything life has bestowed upon me
So I'm left on the curb
Staring at a finish line
And I'm paralyzed
I'm alone with the thoughts and the voices that brought me to this state of recklessness
This state of unrevealed truth and blanketed wounds
My feelings aren't gone because I chose to share them
Shared they were, but only two people recognized the cry for help
I was transparent and found
But we're all too lost
And I'm too broken to win another battle
Weight is on my chest and I'm bitter over someone
I have been in a dark place for so long, that I've forgotten what light looks like
I want to scream at the top of my lungs and never stop crying
I don't think I'll ever stop crying
These droplets will forever fall from my grayish irises onto pavement and rocks and nothingness
Pain doesn't go away
Pain becomes me
I am tired and I cannot sleep and I'm afraid of what the future holds
Because at moments like this
I question the existence of a future
"I drank coffee, and read old books, and waited for the year to end"
But I've been doing that for 6 years, and I'm tired
So I need to be held and helped by someone or something
I need to remember what sweetness tastes like
And I need to piece together this puzzle called life
There are no leaves on the trees
Don't mistake it for fall
Because the leaves were never there
I need to be closer to love than I am right now
To love that is requited
The love that I've felt before
The love that is sweaty palms and mumbled giggles
Rhapsodies of savior
Someone,save me
Help me save myself
Here I stand on the 108th parallel,
the bridge between sanity and belief,
a train station situated between the hectic and the inane,
around me stands a group of strangers.

Some of us are good looking,
some are intelligent,
some are both,
all are worthwhile.

Some are talented,
some are prodigies,
some will change the world,
all will succeed and all will fail.

Some are believers,
some are confused,
some will blaze trails,
others looking to them for direction,
all will eventually find their way.

Some will teach from the pulpit,
some from the altar,
and still others from the streets,
all will make a difference in his eyes.

Some of us will live happier ever after,
some will fight depression,
others will struggle with anxiety,
and in truth,
all are loved.

And so here I stand,
on the 108th parallel,
surrounded by friends,
in a place that we may one day forget,
but in the end,
when all is said and done,
the remnants will remain,
although the stitches holding us together are often unseen.
A.P. Beckstead (2014)
 Jan 2014 ShhHoneyBea
Morgan
unsaid
 Jan 2014 ShhHoneyBea
Morgan
you asked me what i was hiding
as i stood in your door way
naked
with my arms
wrapped around my ribs;

i smiled lightly and
dropped them to my sides

i know you thought

i was insecure
but i never told you
that i was just

trying
to feel my stomach
turning
or my heart racing,

warmth from my limbs

or a shortness of breath
from the tightening
of them-

any reassurance
that i hadn't
gone

completely

numb,

because that look in
your eyes
used to make

my palms
sweat
and my spine
straighten

but
lately
all i feel
is
this
eerie
exhaustion
 Jan 2014 ShhHoneyBea
Renae
fame
 Jan 2014 ShhHoneyBea
Renae
This background music is killing me
it's much to unrealistic, too sweet, too easy to dance tapping toes to the beat, I'm lost in the repetition
Changes come and go, switch it up a bit faster now, slower
Is talent an excuse for stupidity? It makes everything
alright I guess, no worries, no cares kid
You've got talent what more could you want for?

Such a wicked crown as the lights of fame
Neon smear streaks of sin city from the sunroof of a limo
Cruising the strip, half lit, unknown lovers, broken families behind tall walls with only enough cracks of light to let everyone know a secret or two, journalists hopeful of a downfall for a real story that makes the "normal"
seem alright
Don't forget to put on your mask before you ride that magic carpet into oblivion
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