It plays over and over inside my head
a tune it directs and composes
closing my eyes, with poison in vein
feeling the words he discloses
The fruit swells and ruptures into me
I feel it enter then leave
grabs my wrist pulling me free
filling me up as I breathe
A smile, a tear and a fight until dawn
convulsions as pain spews forth heart
trembling and shaking and feeling you
and this is just where we would start
It says to my heart
"Shhh...let me speak. I have much to say"
--the thing within calms and it soothes me
"I will eat it, and take it, oh take it away
"then for a while..you will see
colapsing onto reality
I search for a reason for this
the rthym it falls onto my ears
I beg for the muse and his kiss
I feel the tingle on my lips
of one who was near
another tear falls
cementing my fear
....
I hear it cry with new sight
I feel its warmth oh so near
something was spoken
at birth in my ear
drawing me, bringing
keeping me here

It is written.

She drew out her pen and started to write
I could not see her intentions
Her love was unreachable but surely she'd try
to show him her silly pretentions

after all...what did she have to lose

Her heart was transparent..i saw it, i did
and my heart reached out to her sorrow
She pushed her cheap pen and created words
that gave her false hopes of tomorrow

after all...what did she have to lose

And when she was done with that letter she wrote
she folded it and put it to post
with a deep heaving sigh, she first closed her eyes
and thought of who she loved the most

after all...what did she have to lose

And when days had passed and she pulled on her dress
her heart tried to jump from her chest
she ran to the post with excellent glee
and giggled guiet silly and you know the rest

after all..what did she have to lose

But time went by quickly with nothing returned
as she sit and waited so long
her heart grew so cold and her body grew old
but nothing could take her sweet song

after all...what did she have to lose

The light is fleeting,as you know. As light disappears I am left with darkness again. I cannot make the light. I have tried numerous times to stay within it but it eventually fades back.

The light is stong, although, as I hold you in my arms. As I smell your scent, I am filled with such human emotion of contentment. The voices which cover the globe turn to whispers and the visions fade. For a moment there is only you and I. A moment...a short moment in time. I crave to take you. I want to fill your life in my blood. But I could never bring myself to harm you. It seems you have charmed me far from the point of being charmed. My conjures work not on you. My canines chatter with anticipation of the bite.

You shh me again and so I lay my head back onto your shoulder. You are strong and protect me from myself.

"I must go." YOu say as you hold me away from you. Your arms are strong and I almost let you hold me. "I only wanted to hold you and to make sure you were okay. But, I cannot stay here."

I frown and realize quickly what I am to you. My heart struggles with your descriptions of me. I am this, I am that but I can never be. The riddles astound me. But the light, oh the blessed light. YOu give me the light with no death, no pain then you take it away leaving the pain and the death. Are you from hell? I wonder as I clack my fangs together,and should I just bite you now?

You are human, but your eyes bore into mine as though they know my very soul. You know the creature that I am and yet you are not afraid. You come to me when I am at my deepest of dispair. Right before I have given up, you appear and dangle the light in front of me. I swat at the light just like a little kitten, then you say..

no no no....

You leave me again and take the light with you. The hunger returns.

She sang a song so lovely,
it rang thru time and space.
She sang a song of nothing
and then caressed my face.

Her heart was torn in peices
but she sang her song to me.
I saw the smile of torment
and longed to set her free.

I could not be the one
to bring her peace it seemed,
for all the love in heaven
could never fill the dream.

She sang of pain and lonliness.
She sang to me all night long.
She ran her fingers thru my hair
and gave to me her song.

So when I leave I think of her
residing in my mind.
I feel her touch so tenderly
her voice I will rewind.

Her song it stays forever
inside the hell I feel.
I hear her sing of heaven
and I believe it's real.

In dreaming, I found you,
You were as I wished you'd be.
And,waiting for me there in the light,
pulling the darkness free.
I ran to you with smiling face
and fell right into your embrace,
releasing all the hurt I had,
as I stroked your loving face.
I felt this dream around me
as real as my  tears and skin.
I felt your hand upon my heart
and here it would begin.
In dreaming, i have found you
and I long to have you near,
to share my smiles and laughter
and to chase away my fear.
I know this could not be
oh, i know  this is unreal,
but my heart is pulled, regardless,
to things I should not feel.
So, If I say I hate you,
or if I call you names,
I hope you know the message
and recongnize the games.
I think I've fallen deeply,
my tears, they tell me so.a
I never wish to leave you
no, I dont want you to go.
I guess it seems so silly,
this thing inside my head.
But as I fall asleep dear,
I feel you in my bed.
I feel you in my arms, love,
Oh hold me a little more.
And, when that feeling comes to me
I can feel it in my core.
It is something I can't hide from you
and something that should die,
But I can feel you here with me
a touch, a whisper, a sigh.
Forgive me for this feeling,
this unrequited thing.
I have been here stealing
and feeling this love's sting.

And you said you wanted good things
like things of light and sweetness.
You said you wanted me to smile
with peace and all completeness.
So, I give to you my deep dreams
of things not quite so dark,
but if I give to you these things
then you must take my heart.
Oh, these things they come together,
I am wholey packed and made.
You cannot get the smiles without
the special place we made.
You cannot get my flesh dear
without grasping wanting hands.
You cannot get the things you want
unless she understands.
So if you smile before me
and offer me all these,
I offer you my love dear
as i give my hot release.
Hold me
Pull me
Bring me near
Fill me
Take me
Lick the tear
It is yours
as you crave
just tell me when
I should behave.
Tell me when
I should go away.
Tell me dear
when I should stay
I am yours
and you know it's true.
I find the light
inside of you.

I spoke to the bottle
and it spoke back
I smiled and i laughed
and gave it a smack

Too silly to care
if I knew what to do
cuz all I could think of
was talking to you

Alone in the night
bout to fall from my chair
I heard your voice
turned, and you were not there

I looked around slowly
in fear of your ghost
to see you again dear
I dreaded the most

Not cuz i dont love you
or cuz i dont feel
it's just that the phantom
would cease to be real

And if you did come now
I guess I could cope
and dwell in the morning
with residual hope

I am full of poison
and spirits consume me
my mind is a blur now
and yet I'm not free

so leave me to deal with
my anger and pride
as I drink myself stupid
and enjoy the ride