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I heard a cry in the night,
A thousand miles it came,
Sharp as a flash of light,
My name, my name!

It was your voice I heard,
You waked and loved me so—
I send you back this word,
I know, I know!
I’m an artist
My tool of choice
is my razor
my favorite medium
is my blood
my canvas
is my thighs..

My work of art
is full of emotion
My work of art
always pleases me
I’m an artist
and this is my masterpiece.


(
a.f.c*)
FANCY AS ****


I knew something was not right. I went in with a sledge hammer challenged the truth and you put the phone down. Me in London, You in Dublin. One day to our planned London Weekend.

I came in like a wrecking ball
Yeah, I just closed my eyes and swung
Left me crashing in a blazing fall
All you ever did was wreck me
Yeah, you, you wrecked me

I never meant to start a war
I just wanted to know the truth
I wanted you to tell the truth
I couldn’t live a lie; I was running for my life



When you put the phone down on me on Wednesday night Oct 10th followed by a solicitor’s letter the following day, that was abuse. That letter was profoundly nasty. It was all a lie, just like as I now know, the rest of our relationship was. You went to the Garda, anything just so I would not discover the truth.

Your abuse is not without it's consequences. I needed you to tell me to talk to me. I don't feel revenge, anger, hate; I just feel utter shock, used, physically abused and mostly devastation.

But you know what, it hurts like hell, but I will fight back and I will find my way out of this abuse. I find it hard to believe you want me to suffer like this. Now I know you ‘Fancied Me As ****’. Why not just be straight up?  Why all the lies? Why not give me the chance to walk away when I wanted to?
This is more of a story than a poem.
On that bed
With your blue sheets
Your one small pillow
Your thick cover

We first kissed
It was new
It was passionate
It was indescribable, really.

We would nap
Always the same
Windows open for breezes
Bodies embraced for warmth

On that bed
A bond was shared
One I thought couldn't be broken

On that bed
Marriage was proposed
No hesitation; yes.

We promised our lives to each other
On that bed

On that very same bed
You betrayed me
In every sense of the simple word

On that bed where we had everything
In one swift move
It was taken from me, from us.

Where I felt most safe, most loved.
I'm now ashamed and broken
On our bed.
Cheaters never prosper.
i lay awake at night
and
listen to the sound the rain makes.
it spatters onto the ground with such purpose
that i can not help but feel jealousy in the pit
of my empty stomach.
the rain knows where its going and where its been.
i wander, confused at who i am and who i'm going to be.
i crave the feeling of certainty.
to know if i'm going to pull the string attached to my lips
and pull it into another forced smile another day.
i lay awake at night and
wish to be a drop of rain.
you
Wishing you all my readers a very promising new year 2014 filled with all kinds of nice things.

you deserve kept promises
and tea in the morning
you deserve love notes on your dashboard
and sausages for breakfast
you deserve love every day
and to be kissed every hour
you deserve to be reminded
how wonderful you are
*Dedicated to John*
 Dec 2013 shelby marie
Sora
Look her in the eyes
With my own war veiled eyes
Look her in the eyes
Try not to shy away.

Please
Girl
Come back to me
Don't leave me
Don't let this
monster, this darkness
this
boy fitting into the cracking skin of a girl
take me over

Look her in the eyes
Try not to look away
Look and see
All the hidden rejection, the hurt, the longing, the numbness
That you made her feel

Look her in the eyes
Try not to say sorry
Because somehow
You were meant to destroy your adoptive mother
And be abandoned by your biological one

Look her in the eyes
Try not to
*Shy away

— The End —