No matter which notes are played on still waters
they weigh heavy on my pain
when they fall.  
There are days when I realize
I am spinning 'round
and murmuring,
feeling forced and raw.

It seems that time dwindles down
into its own sea
then wakes the night
asking to be filled with hours.
Everything I do
seems to make time kiss the places
where I spin,
stroking........
as it devours.

I can feel a searing look
from eyes on the sidelines
when I attempt to  hold the jewels of darkness
next to me.  
Their footsteps
are like the million curses of tears,
stinging..........endlessly.

Before the door closes on my life's journey
I know the moon will rise
in all its angelic innocence
once again.
Until then, I will dream
of polishing those jewels,
spinning round
here......
insane.

I hear my fate
surrounding your every touch
and my heart bleeds
in every shade of you.
Because of you,
the colors of my life
have become
a golden sea of happiness,
your sweet love........
breathes into.

You fulfill every dream
that has ever exhaled
into the deepest parts
of my heart.
Dearest,
my soul runs to you whispering,
“I have arrived
with no end to my trust,
from your side..........
I will not part”.

Does one become more beautiful
after being broken?  
Could they be repaired with gold
until their heart and mind
are no longer numb?
Will the harsh voices
that caused each crack
disappear............
into a billion pieces
as if never spoken?
If so,
please paint each crack in my heart
and stop.......
where this pain flows from.

Copyright @2013 - Neva Flores - Changefulstorm

Shattered windows and broken doors,
cast shadows across a tear-stained floor.
Broken dishes speak to silent walls
while unheard words cry out
that should be understood by all.

Nothing's left to see in these eyes of mine,
because life has frozen
all I ever hoped to find.
I write and search for a stream of memories,
but find no words that won't scar me.

My hands reach out with a shaking pen
composing a message in the dark once again.
Tonight I scratch on my skin
words of love
that should have never been.

She's riding in my passenger seat, telling me about the girl who won't separate the sheets
Steering wheel hot under my hands as I drive down a service road miles away
The whiskey shots she had early hit my nose, and acid burns my eyes
Cause you're riding shotgun and I can feel the bleeding in my mind

I haven't spoken to you in months, despite your hidden attempts
Longer still, since I've seen you under the night sky with your love at your side
It has been almost a year since I kissed you last
I can taste you now because I smelled the mix of cigarettes and bourbon

Years it's been since I've known you, if ever at all
The dust in my car clings to the bits and pieces that remind me
***** amplifies the fact that your skin cells and hair are probably still embedded in the seats
Next to me the girl is still talking about the god ****** laundry

Just yesterday my email put me into a panic
There was your name, asking for friendship, within a cloak of invisibility of course
The tab flashed as brightly as a siren to me yet I didn't move nor budge
WBF he asked, just for a second, no more

No more, well how convenient for you isn't it?
It's always within your time frames, when you need it
Never friends when I have been crushed, when I lay cursing you in your last shirt you left
Abandoned on my floor

I hit the blinker, turn down the workhorse, and nod my head
Trying not to breathe deeply while agreeing with whatever she said
I dropped her off at the liquor store and as she slammed the door
My throat burned with a scream that you would never hear

Two long years, your scent stayed with me
In my hair, in my heart, in my bed
Even though you were happy in CO, living with your high school sweetheart
And I was home, fighting with mine instead

You came back, she ruined you is what you claimed
I left him and tried all the wrong ways to save you
So we fell asleep too many times together on someone else's couch
And after telling me you loved me and begging me to return it, you left me

Said you were in love, with a girl who hate ****** you
Screamed the word perpetuated into the phone
and that wound is the rotting hole that you used to be kept safe in
A soul that was so tightly wound with your snores and your thoughts and your beastly smile

The car is parked, and I do not cry for you even with the feeling
Like you could be right here, trying hard not to love my car dancing and my real laugh
I am a smart girl, I say today just as I did yesterday
Smart girl furious that I made it all up

I thought I knew the boy in the combat boots picking flowers
I believed him when he cried onto me and swore I wasn't a joke
That he wasn't saying them behind my back, the one he clinged to when he made love
That's what he told me we did, I said we were making stories

I forget from time to time, but I am furious that I believed him
That he let me believe him
More than anything, he was supposed to be my friend
He wanted me to be invisible