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I cannot
not compute,
this beauty, it's all around you,
as it can only exist in you,

surrounded in your shades,
your observation unto its grace,

this world,
you make,
real.

It's why I'll make,
you,

looking to your lines, your curves,
defining you by sight, tracing starlight,
then eyes, that shine unto mine,

as life becomes life's
worth living.

The heavens we can trace,
with but a glance to the place,
where by chance we will paint,
on the same lines of a space,
occupied by a fate,
between the times,
that we made,
and bang,

the endtroduction.

But faster, and fast-err, or,
can't not, not, compute,
bigger, better, more, and more,

the fabric,
it dilutes,
torn,

pouring from a door,
on another side,
doing just fine,

looking
no further

than the sky.
My sadness is mediocre
My words are bland
The thoughts I think were thought before me, I don't understand.
I don't understand why I feel the way I do
But that's supposed to be okay because neither do you..
or you,
...or you.

I'm sorry but I don't want to be like you, though.
I don't want to be a piece of the pie.
I want to be the pan that the pie shapes itself after.
I want to be a blade, a shepherd, and an imprint in time.

My hair is curly, brown, with bronze streaks.
My mood is fairly down with sullen words my world sinks.
Her hair was dark, eyes containing broken earth and lullabies.
My love was true, the only thing not mediocre and that isn't a lie.

Let's dance on a table in a diner full of orphans, and try not to be slaves
to our loneliness.
...Do you love me?
Yes.
...Oh, okay.

Sometimes I want to die so ******* badly, it's hilarious.
I can't **** myself in case she comes back. How amazing.
I can't cut myself because I don't want to scar my flesh because if I do
it may decrease my chances of getting her back.
Even my motivation is mediocre, and my tolerance so strong it could be
mistaken as pathetic.

Put me in a silver chair from across the room she'll stare. My love will go nowhere and I swear to God we are eternal. And you and I infinite, and the world is the wind behind our feet as we run into the inaudible where the world is mute and where our love is loud, in and on my lips you trace the words you did imprint and from lightning you strike the lettered indents you did or did not meant. I cannot decide.

My mouth tastes of chocolate milk, 1993, and 1996.

Insomnia stains my eyes. I can't go to sleep because I see you.

That was so mediocre.
 Apr 2014 Shay-za-di
LaserHalo
there you are,
         clothed in despair,
   living up-to their expectations...

giving us a deeper scare,
         rising above inner resignation,
   when all is lost...

and above your head..
       a smiling ghost..
above your head..
       a laser halo...
Choices…
There are always choices,
Each day presents us with new choices.

Paths…
There are always paths,
Each step leads us towards so many paths.

Mistakes…
There are always mistakes,
Each experience coughs up a set of mistakes.

Time…
There is always time,
Each hour of each day gives birth to more time.

Chance…
There is always chance,
Each spin of our life throws up a fresh chance.

To marry, or not to marry?
To run the rat race, or to relax?
To argue, or to remain silent?

Children, they are gifts, treasure them,
Without a job how can you ever relax?
Speak your mind, let your words be free.

You stand at a crossroad,
Behind you lies all that was,
Ahead of you lies all that there is.

Step forward…
Silly things, silly things
I have heard, I have seen
Making words out of screams
Things to say in your dreams

Every day, every day
Something new comes my way
And I too sing and play
even though I am gray

But I know, yes, I know
That things change when you grow
Rearranged just to show
You without saying so

Let me out, let me out
Of this cage where I pout
Off this stage where I spout
Gibberish all about

And I wish, how I wish
As I drop and I squish
As I flop like a fish
That I had not done this

This is bad, this is bad
Maybe I'm not so glad
Hear the chimes, don't be mad
Do not cry, don't be sad

Ah, to die, ah, to die
Darkness comes, close your eyes
Everyone by and by
Meets their end, who knows why?

We are friends, we are friends!
Were before, are again
All the more we depend
When the long road does end

Sing a song, sing a song!
Sing it loud sing it strong
You're allowed, life is long
Nothing's hid, nothing's wrong

I'm a kid, I'm a kid!
I can run like I did
Cowboy gun, stretchy squid
stack things in pyramids

It's a sin, it's a sin!
In a wink life begins
If you stink, you can't win
Earn your wings, be with Him

Now the ring again begins
I tell my story to the air
I breathe the air and exhale slowly
Savoring my story
Pretending someone cares
But it’s just me

It comes out wrong anyway
I never tell it right
And every single night
I let it slip away

Every morning I awake
Recreate my memories
The wrong priorities
What difference does it make
Cause it’s just me

And it all just sounds so phony
And no one is deceived
There’s no one to believe
I’m never lonely
I need special radiation to restore my power
It (the radiation) comes from TV
There’s radiation in concrete
I have to wear special shoes

Nobody has any faces anymore
Every time I cross the street
It causes at least two people to explode
People are reading my thoughts
I can tell because they get in their cars and drive away
Once they get five miles away
They can control my mind for
Five out of every twenty-seven seconds
Sometimes they make me scream
Or sometimes fall asleep

When I’m sleeping someone replaces my clothes with new ones that are the same but dirtier
It’s usually the same guy
One guy waits behind the toilets and saves my poo then sneaks up when I’m asleep and puts it back in my ****
Sometimes he leaves it in the pants that they will put on me that night

I often sleep on the loading bay of the Circuit City between 3:13 and 5:21 a.m.
This is the time when dump-trucks are powerless against mind rays from space

And the dormant TVs
Feed on the evil mind beams
That scream in my ear
I usually can’t tell what they are saying except when they tell me to stomp rats to death and then eat them
One time I ate my toes instead but they grew back and I just had to eat more rats to make up for it
I wish you would leave me alone
Why won’t you let me think?!
Of course I'm a poet
What else could I be?
In the beautiful light
That taught me to see
With intensity shown
and with such constancy
The terrible light
That forced me to see

The luminous sadness
The light brought in its wake
That lodged in my heart
And oft' caused it to break
And filled me with wonder
For wonderment's sake
By revealing my soul
The light doomed it to ache

The light came in slowly
With each new regret
Each instant of pain
I could never forget
The sadness malingered
Ineffably set
As if telling a joke
That it dared me to get

And each new misfortune
Brings with it the last
And backward through time
Backward into the past
'Til I start to surmise
How my die is cast
How some new disaster
Is following fast

So I am infused
With this pain and this fear
And this wonderment at
All this beauty that's here
I feel that the linkage
Between them is clear
The price of such insight
Is terribly dear

But this light is something
That everyone shares
Though often obscured
By everyday cares
By friendship and glory
And great love affairs
The soul is appeased
Ere it seeks out the glare

But those worldly things
On which others thrive
Seem all but mundane
I don't feel deprived
For it is the vision
That keeps me alive
Of course I'm a poet
It's how I survive
Can you run,
Your softened fingers,
Along the outskirts,
Of my brittle bones.

Push them down,
Until they jut out,
And pierce through,
My cracking skin.

Can you hold,
My head under,
The murky depts,
Of darkened water.

Sew my bleeding,
Lips together,
And make sure,
I cannot breathe.
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