I am happy now, I am here
I needed a rest, a break away
But I am here now and I promise not to stray

I scooped her up, she was barely there
A shadow of me that was withered, laid bare
It is only now when I look within
I see the extent of the state we were in

To flee my own self, how did I ever try
Neglect too harsh and true to deny
And yet still now I neglect to know
How I left and the nowhere I go
Without you - My poor and lonely soul

I promise
There is no need to worry
My Holy Ghost
I have you here - and I'll hold you close
We are happy, and here, and now.

Pray for me
And I think I do not pray
But - Yeah sure.

But pray, won't you?
And I think I will
So - Yeah sure.
Just not in the way you hope.

It is in the way I beg to the ether.

I pray to you to tell me it's not real.
I pray to myself to hold it all together.

I pray to life to change its course.
I pray to remove you from the source.

I pray to dream with you.
Here and never-ending.

There is no time, there is no measure.
You and me, protected here forever.

I pray for you to face no fear.
I pray for me to fight any near.

I pray to time.
I pray to you.

I pray for you.
Always.

The nerves are gone.
It's a phrase familiar but never applied to me.

She's at her wits end.
The image strikes of a worn - torn - woman
Frazzled hair and arms out of sockets
- the tear of demand
- the air of long gone reprimand.

How has it become my reflection?
Two tortured shadows.
Muscle power that has been splintered, cracked.
No breakthrough, no expression.

Excuse me, please?
My nerves and wit -
Well they seem to have escaped me.

Can you join me in the search?
Can you help me understand?
When did time pick up its legs and run?

My nerves, my wit, well yes of course
My very self, you can be sure
I'm afraid
They have long gone and betrayed me.

The eyes - they haunt the carved out hollow.
A strange relief to know the evidence lies in front.

Excuse me, sir?
Have you seen what the last few months have done to me?

Assume the burial of the you to me that I conceived
The soil's earth, the soul engorges my strives to reach the air
It renounces me to make way for the reborn root of you
For me, I seek to force above the fold
But the mound engineers my innocence
To drown down to your fading hold
Is to feel the heavy weight of yearned existence

I will never reach your delicate grasp
It forgets to lay claim to mine
No, forget me not for it is a measured miss
Your intended dereliction by design

You, drifting steadily beyond all redemption
Me, approaching abandonment of the quest
- A hymn to the blind revival

Be assured at the closing breath
You are fated to offer a whisper - a shadow - a gesture
Grant full life in the depth of your distance
To keep me in hope yet to know that hope is empty

Anchored - aligned
In preparation for denial
Of your piece
At the end of the never-ceasing coda.

Trailing in these shoes, my feet no longer hurt
Straight line and bearable now
In replace of the pain and dirt
We know that they are not mine but I have made the buckle fit
Now I stand in front of you, your smirk triumphantly lit

You believe that you have tamed me and all that I come with

I am living in the 1920s
I am missing the shaking tassel dresses, the whispering red lips and the springing curls
I live through the deep emptiness of an uncurled smile from a boy who has a shine in his eye
A shine from a coin filled with the greed for the nothingness of wealth
His gaping presence has replaced wickedly free men
What remains are toying boys craving meaning
Behind the shade of the thinly golden pattern
Of whiskey blurred nights
Of shivering embraces
Barely touching in numbness
I love you meaning I do not acknowledge your depth or care to know mine
What meaning?

When the light has fallen away
And our facades
of rush
momentarily glide
on the breakable ice
in a haven of realisation
Your darkness unveils
the beautiful layers
of the night's
loudest silences
As you hear what the day steals away