i'm lost without you....
not lost as in a
lost soul
or a metaphorical endless search
that i now find myself on.
i'm not aimlessly wandering
through an abyss,
the darkness of which
is only matched
by the black of your hair...
no.
i mean,
literally.
like you knew,
directions really well,
and would always remember
where i parked my car,
and you'd hold my hand to
guide me through a crowd
towards the
right cardinal direction.
that sort of lost.
pragmatic.
where do i go
from here?

There’s a place in the furthest corner of darkness
Whose shadows wait patiently for your cries
And upon hearing the sound they dance as if in orbit
Held by the gravity of your chaotic state

They breathe easy when you’re gasping for air
Their arrousal comes directly from your pain
And when you beg and plead for mercy they taunt you
With vivid images of love, life, and longing

These pieces of skin
I wear
Oh, how fragile,
fragile and rare
that a love like yours could
blanket my chest
and put every nightmare
I've stumbled through
to rest

Oh what a day it is to know
your body fits mine
like a glove
you'll keep my spirit warm through
winter and expand
my capacity
for Love

I raise my arms,
palms up, to you-
My love.
I raise my voice,
diaphragm diffused,
igniting above.
And these hips?
They swirl magic beneath
their bones,
they know every crease and
fold in your body,
they play-dohed the shape
of your
rosetta stone

They contemplated what words
could be stained with your
spirit,
what phrase could sum up
your every speck of soot
and grit

So I ask my heart
and she answers with the
sweetest of whispers
a  swirl of the tongue
of her
spine
and lets herself
slink inside of that
rock
lets herself fill every air molecule
and she lets herself transform

I've become the voice in his throat
the lungs in his breast
I am his fingerprint stamped
forever on his canvas

I have become alive and I
have awakened
but how will it be when
my carrier follows his journey-
away.
Hows it going to be when
my voice has been discarded and tossed
into the wind of the desert
hows it going to be when my
lungs collapse
and shrink
in.
how's it going to be when my fingerprints
become a maze I've never
seen,
the paint stamped on his canvas
washed away
and unearthed to
bleed

What am I to do with the thinned
course of my heart,
each artery gasping
pumping  erratically
to
start
?

And Alexis,
she sings
back to me: "It will break you in every way. But you have time to steel yourself to it. To lace your blood with iron and lead, to armor your skin. You have time to fletch your arrows, and time to carve your bow. When it comes I will be there with you. I have walked this road,  and I will walk it again, with you."

What is ugly
Isn’t really ugly
But is not good enough to those who seek perfection
And I don’t

I don't want to hurt you anymore,
But my heart doesn't belong to you since last June,
It is no accident this time
That you from my mind drifted away.
[Far Away...]

I know you...
Fell in a bed of roses,
Withered around your hurt heart,
Thorns punctured your innocence,
And previous history came to life.
[I am one memory away from you now]

Everybody knew,
Everybody saw,
This breakage coming up,
One, Two, Three, ****!!
Through the hourglass we flew.
Tulips mean a kiss no more,
Gardenias and Roses won't mend these wounds,
[Jasmine flowers grown with our gloom]

Listen to the...
Symphony of Flowers,
Soothing the broken heart,
Cherry blossoms full of thy tears,
Lonely grew, Lonely grown,
Many years red roses with love,
I won't be back anymore.

[A dream came true for every "I Love You"]

I've walked one memory away from you,
Jasmine flowers grown with our gloom,
The dreams that came true,
For each of your "I Love Yous,
Be washed away by the pain of your dandelion eyes,
And I listen to the echoes,
Of the Symphony of Flowers