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002
a e s t h e t e Nov 2015
002
All these years, I’ve been terrified
what if this long, exhausting journey
came to a sudden halt, and no one
ever learned to love me

Too caught up with a fear
I became too blind to see
that so much people have tried
to love me truly

What could be worse
than not being loved,

I asked myself

Years later, I’ve come
to a perfect answer

*not knowing how to love.
s.a.b.
a e s t h e t e Feb 2016
i've reached the peak
the fullest my heart could get

one final kiss
one last cry
and i've reached the peak
s.a.b.
a e s t h e t e Mar 2016
would you stay even
after knowing my demons
have a hundred names?
s.a.b.
a e s t h e t e Sep 2016
I love it when you play with words
and make art out of sadness
s.a.b.
a e s t h e t e Sep 2016
I'm fluent in sadness
and you are in art.
We speak of the same language
and yet you remain unaware.
s.a.b.
a e s t h e t e Feb 2016
I am all the lies I've spoken
I am all the truths I've left unsaid
I am all the promises I've broken
I am all the trust I've never given
I am all the love I should've shown
I am all the walls I've patiently built
I am all the void that I'm scared to fill

..and yet
namaste, said your soul
and I am all the soul that was redeemed.
s.a.b.
a e s t h e t e Mar 2016
as soft as the morning glow,
are words that come and go.
words that dance and play,
along with rhythms,
they flit and sway.
sonata, cantata, cadence
don't they wake
a sleeping good sense?
through whispers and
subtle strums, and stealth
what can't be seen
is heartily felt.
s.a.b.
a e s t h e t e Mar 2016
didn't your mother
warn you, soft kisses come with  
*e m p t y  promises
s.a.b.
a e s t h e t e Oct 2015
Tricked by a scheme, not long ago,        
was a lad once teemed with love and glee.    
           His soul was cursed and beyond repair
     was a cunning lie he thought was true.              
                     Alas! His faith had gone astray.                          
                        All his life he blamed himself                          
                             for all the deaths and broken hearts.          
                               Until one day, a l*** made way                
             to break this lie and mend his heart.                  

//
s.a.b.
a e s t h e t e Feb 2016
A word turned into a phrase
into a sentence
into a paragraph

another comma wasn't sufficient
to breathe, a period was needed
s.a.b.
a e s t h e t e Feb 2016
Was there ever a more beautiful sound than your name? To speak it aloud makes my heart ring like a bell. Strange to imagine that, isn’t it – a heart ringing – but when you touch me that is what it is like: as if my heart is ringing in my chest and the sound shivers down my veins and splinters my bones with joy.

Why have I written these words in this book? Because of you. You taught me to love this book where I had scorned it. When I read it for the second time, with an open mind and heart, I felt the most complete despair and envy of Sydney Carton. Yes, Sydney, for even if he had no hope that the woman he loved would love him, at least he could tell her of his love. At least he could do something to prove his passion, even if that thing was to die.

I would have chosen death for a chance to tell you the truth, Tessa, if I could have been assured that death would be my own. And that is why I envied Sydney, for he was free.

And now at last I am free, and I can finally tell you, without fear of danger to you, all that I feel in my heart.

You are not the last dream of my soul.

You are the first dream, the only dream I ever was unable to stop myself from dreaming. You are the first dream of my soul, and from that dream I hope will come all other dreams, a lifetime’s worth.

With hope at least,
Will Herondale
― Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Prince
a e s t h e t e Oct 2015
Ross wept when Marcel went away
and hoped, in the midst of those tears
that their souls will, again, one day
intertwine and dance and play.

Aria stepped in the darkness
with her only company – grave fear.
Dominant is the dread and terror and distress
until Spence held her hands and said, “I’m here.”

Marcel found his way
back to Ross, nonetheless
and Aria’s fears went away
as she walked hand in hand with Spence.

As I roam around this Central Perk
“It’s not your fault,” said Phoebe Buffay.
As I remain to prowl and loiter and lurk
I forgot that I’m a cat, smelly and stray.*

I meow as I hear this song subsist
To Regina Phalange, I owe all these
She may be unaware she’d done these things
Just know I’m forever grateful you exist.
Happy 20th, I love you.

s.a.b.
a e s t h e t e Apr 2016
when life offers you
a taste of reality,
bite it with might.
chew, swallow, drink
darling, quench that thirst.
s.a.b.

— The End —