cant sleep when theres fire on my face. the heat upon my legs and arms it weighs above the cushions, and on the other side behind the screen and on concrete careful - in the perch, a watchful eye dont think youre clever. it is cold and it is gentle, and there are airplanes in the sky - today i talked to one about satellites, and i wonder if the stars will reach down for me tonight, and if i will bend so slightly forwards to meet them as they fall - though with city lights i doubt they will at all

i love you
and you love him
i know you are scared
because i am too
but is this love
not enough
to answer
your fear

with your hand down my throat
sitting quietly crying
will you ever let go
though really i should ask
will i ever let it fall
from your grasp
and slip to the floor
and if i did
would it hurt even more

how many months how many years
will i have to live with such terrifying fear
or is that simply what comes with it
and would a plastic bottle **** it
but do i even want to know

it has only gotten worse.
i am terrified to speak the words aloud,
the guilt consumes me like maggots on a corpse.
i dont know how much longer i should stay or if leaving would even be any better because this is the happiest ive ever felt though i suppose at this point its less which one is better and more which ones less worse.
i mean look at this.
on my own **** paper and its not even original i feel like a puppy dog and i swear i am a real person with my own thoughts and desires a prime example being this completely unbounded feeling of fire that burns with blinding heat i cannot say it i cannot say it i cannot say it
and it destroys me.