The flowers in my fingers have fallen to the floor
They died without a protest
They died being ignored

The thorns that coat my lips have taught themselves to bite
They nip into your fingertips
Yet you don't seem to mind

My singing voice has deepened, no longer a gorgeous tune
But yet you seem to ask for more
You and only you

My hair is only wild when I step out of a tub
But you remove my hair tie
And all that work is gone

My short hair that I was nervous about, you never said a word
It pains me to look in the mirror
Yet none exist in your world

A compilation of dull colors you say?
I see a rainbow, a dazzling array
Of hidden oranges and sparkling greens

*why do i need you to love me?

I go through guys
Like I go through food
Which isn't a lot
I'm not a thot

I may know the boys
That hang in the back of the class
But that doesn't mean I do stuff
Just assuming so **** much

Your stare is cold
Spirit is dead
Eyes icy blue
They definitely fit you

Your eyes clash with mine
Blue straight through brown
Why do you keep glaring?
Better yet, why are you still staring?

I can't identify that look
I don't know what to think
I don't know you well enough
That look is far from love

Your blue eyes they scare me
My brown eyed demon is gone
You noticed this long ago
*What all do you know?

I'm going on a diet
One that kills me slowly
The worst way to die
The way of not knowing
That the choices you make are so negative
And the fears of not fitting in ****
That the lace on your shirt in unnecessary
As is, in your hand, that hundred dollar bill
No one cares
About anyone but themselves
They care not for your story
Same as you and yourself
But I'm still going on that diet
Because society's caught my ankle
And I'll die in the heat of the pressure
Listening to the fires of hate crackle

One can be an idiot with their adolescence
One can inhale desire and exhale mistakes
And only after they feel good
Do they have to double take
One's thoughts can be controlled
Not monitored, but thought for them
One can be a marionette
The strings are hidden, but the doll a gem
The epitome of perfection rolled into one
And the lungs that breathe in
Don't realized their breaths are unstable
Until the cable is cut at the hands of the men
The ones that decide when it's time to cry
Or when you're feeling down or feeling free
Do you feel anything besides the insanity
Do you really feel? It's instability
All at it's finest and your eyes are set
On a goal that's never been yours
Breathing is a chore because you're being forced
To take a breath for the sake and respect of these ******
Who aren't *****, just *****, just cruel
As cruel as any insult you can toss
And I can throw an insult farther than a person
But I never said I wouldn't stop to try at the sake of your loss
The ball is in your hands but it's always been
I will never count my blessings until I feel I am blessed
But that's my fault because with my adolescence I can't feel
They ripped at my heart until all of this became a ****** mess
Am I less now that I know the truth?
That my youth was never my own just a way for you to hone
Your skills in manipulation
Is it too late to give up and just let you take control?
There's no rule to giving in to let you win
I give up and I know
That all that I give up is enough to hold me back
I've lost it all and my mind and this time I won't get it back
One mistake I was willing to make was my *innocence

Self-hatred is a pretty strong term
But I'd use it any day
To describe what years of insults have done
They've managed to ruin me
I may be dramatic and I'm okay with that
I need a little flare
To get past all these people with pompous looks
Who have nothing better to do than glare

What is it with me
And moving so fast
Jumping from one person
And forgetting the last

How does this thing work
How do I dance
From relationship to crush
Without a second glance

Is it out of fear?
That silly phobia of the dark
Where I don't know what could happen
When the last flame flickers to a spark

This isn't healthy
Nothing is love
And I think I need help
Because this hurts so much

To be searching for pain
In a world with many men
That will help you out
And I've got not enough to gain

From you