I rule a kingdom of sand
Today a paradise
Tomorrow featureless
Proud to be king
I can make my wants
Stack sand 10 feet
To make a bigger me
And watch it die
When the tide comes
Never completing
Always a new effort

Sometimes I destroy
Everything I've made
Just for the challenge
The only person who
Can build it all back
Is me

There's a hundred people
♪ Here comes the bride... ♪
Packed in a small church
♪ Gone forever more...♪
And much to my horror
♪ Taking someone's name...♪
I'm awake and it's real
♪ Dependent on some guy...♪
And then enters the Angel
♪ Your fears are deep seated...♪
The whole world shrinks
♪ You'll hate this whole thing...♪
To just one brilliant smile
♪ Here's the best part...♪
Which passes by me
♪ Prepare to die alone...♪
And takes the sun away

When you say,
"Do you remember that day?"
I frown and I shrug
"I recall that hug."

"Our first kiss..."
Forgotten moment of bliss.
My thoughts always lost,
The Madness's cost

"That one night..."
"Was it after a big fight?"
"You don't remember."
"Was it December?"

Not a clue
What I could possibly do
"It meant that little?"
My mind is brittle

Can't take back
Already slipped down the crack
The look in her eyes
A part of me cries

Some have memory
My mind is too slippery
I still have my soul
Despite the big hole

Soul Mate
It sounds pretentious
I have both halves
Of the soul destined
To reside in me
I don't need
Any leftovers
What can that mean?
I don't know yet.

Two hearts beat in my chest
Two minds sleep when I rest
Two loves burn in my veins
Two fears cuffed by my chains

One soul fights for success
One soul wants to digress
One man in suit and tie
One man dresses to die

The clarion call of stress and strife
Pulls two souls towards one life
One man stands in my skin
Where two men just had been

I could really use a time machine
Not to cheat or plan or scheme
Just to watch myself at night
And find the very first fright
Capture the madness before the start
Before it crawled into my heart
Strangle out the darkness there
And keep its whispers from my ear

I have seen tears
Big, fat, watery dribbles
Flowing like summer rain
Down the rough, bearded cheeks
Of the strongest men
Who I ever have known
I stopped crying
When I stopped caring
Maybe I'm stronger
More likely
Just cynical

Sleeplessness might be a curse
More hours should be a blessing
I cannot find joy in madness
Sleeplessness is sane-less-ness
Insanity turns to absence
The void in my eyes alarms
Notice bring stress and tension
I'm too wound-up to sleep
I'm a snake eating its own tail
I should visit the pharmacy but
I rush to get home instead
Too tired to do anything
Too tired to fall asleep
Insomnia is a cruel mistress

The beauty of the internet
All those little lights
Flickering in the night
The LED's on my motherboard
And the shining brilliance of my peers

Once we hid in the darkness,
Each believing to be
The last of our kind
The miracle of the modern age
We can now all be
Alone together

When the devil wants to walk
It's my skin he crawls in
When the devil wants to talk
It's my mouth teeth chin
When the devil wants to fight
It's my arms jaw fists
When the devil wants a sight
It's my clever razor wit
When the devil wants it all
It's my ambition that tries
When the devil wants you, doll
It's my hands, lips, and eyes

A little plant of little acclaim,
A small flower of smaller fame
A tiny plant without any sun
A creature that's only now begun
If it stays deep in deep gray shade
Its life and will will surely fade

How could one allow such sorrow
Cowardice to turn from tomorrow
A plant that strives not for shine
Will give its life for reapers' dine
It cannot last a second's breath
Without light falls quick to death
A plant that stays in the shadow's wake
Can only tremble and weep and quake

But a plant can grow, and grow towards life
A plant can flourish and cast off strife
It needs to bend and twist and turn
Push itself towards the sun-beam's burn
Grow and stretch up towards the sky
Demand to live, refuse to die
How it hurts and burns and stings,
The sight of those to the shadows cling
A bloom worth seeing sees the light
We must be brave, as a flower might

Lies, disappointment
The poem is exactly
same syllable count

There's nothing pretty inside her head
Lips are shiny, eyes are dead
No one hears a thing she says

Her fake smile makes my skin crawl, teeth clack
Sun colored hair braided back
A painted doll all dressed up

Skin's like caramel or ***** cream
Hands float dangerously close
Air for brains and dirt for soul

There's a sing-song voice
Ringing in my ear
And an atomic bomb
Bringing you here
I won't ever find
The secret to my life
As long as I run
And hide from the knife
I think of you often
With flowers in your hair
It may seem absurd
But I can't leave this chair

Self-awareness
Personal doubt
Intuition
External guess

Introspective
Self-absorbed
Outgoing
Need for affection

Fashionable
Loves the mirror
Casual
Fears the mirror

Honest
Cruel friend
Considerate
*Careful liar

I keep hearing screams but I'm not screaming
I keep smelling blood but I'm not bleeding
WHOSE screams are screech-screaming?
WHOSE blood is stream-bleeding?
Is there a madness to this sanity?
Is there a gate to my Vanity?
Can I open this door to discover,
Who might be behind this cover?  

I keep hearing your screams.  Why screaming?
I can taste your blood.  Are you still bleeding?
If there is an answer, let it be quiet.
I don't want to hear it; I'll riot.
So many people can smell your blood
Why don't they run and staunch the flood?
All the screams are echoing loud
No one ever walks within the shroud

It never stops, not ever; screaming
And you must be dry, dry from bleeding
How many days lie still in waiting?
How many men die while hating?
I know it can't be true
You must be dead; it's true

You've screamed and screamed, yet your screaming
You've bled oceans and rivers; still bleeding
Visage cold and still; it's quiet
Play at life but I don't buy it
I've heard your call for days and ages
You've bled enough to fill my pages

How can it be that you haunt me still?
You screams and blood no longer thrill
My standard of living comes from your dying
Men laugh, smile and nod while lying

Ten leagues lie between my heart and soul
That space is filled with a screaming hole
That hole is filled from bottom to top
Blood pours over and doesn't stop
In that pit I find you still
You live so long as I will

Screaming stops when bleeding ceases
Scars and wounds and paper creases
You're screaming because I can't find you
You're bleeding because I can't help too

Whose screams are still yet screaming?
Whose blood is it that's always bleeding?
I know you're in there, in the dark
Just say something, call out, “hark!”
But never will your screaming halt
I know this bleeding is my fault
Left alone in a cold sad place
I don't even know your face

Must a rest be peaceful to be restful? Must a prison be walled to be a prison?
How many people rest without peace; how many prisoners lie still but free?

A Dream can be a prison, when the dream cannot be escaped.
A Dream haunts you when you sleep and when you've waked
A prison without walls, a prison in my mind
A prison I hate the most because images shine
A Dream is a place of beauty, honesty, and hope
A Dream is a place with which I can never cope
A prison created only when the imprison-er has faded
A prison of haunting ideas and fantasies aided
A Dream is a taunting, teasing, tortuous thing
A Dream cannot be, but it's possibilities sing
A prison of wishes and wants to be desired
A prison of worries and false prophets, liars
A Dream is only as hurtful as it is full of bliss
A Dream's greatest weapon; a non-existent kiss

Wouldn't it be nice if we could wake up
And not be us anymore?
Just sit and drink some coffee
And talk about the war
Perfectly mundane folks
Without a care beyond the debt
No need to be profane folks
Concerned with only death

Wouldn't it be nice if we could grow up
And be us in some other way?
Just rock out to some Zepplin
And smoke our cares away
Perfectly mundane folks
No worries but the rent
No need to be ashamed folks
Beaten, broken, all regret

It would be just fantastic
to explode into all the color
That's always popping away
Behind my eyes

To leave a ****** mess
All over the west wing
Of my favorite restaurant
Would be swell

Not just morbid, brutal,
or simply satisfying
But emphatically ironic
Erupting with action

A life of depression
A violent expression
Stained to tell a story
*Beautifully gory.

The Hunger, The Craving,
  it never subsides
  My Lover, My Saving
   she turns, she hides
     It's over, no waiting
      My mania soon dies
       The guilt, the hating
        sedated it writhes
          My mind, my shelter
           paid it my tithe
            Knew her, I felt her
             My Shield and my Scythe

It doesn't matter how many days
Pass before my eyes
I find new, better ways
To let myself die

I quit smoking, I quit drinking, I quit running, I quit thinking
Tomorrow finds new time
To keep my *** alive

I'll search a hundred lifetimes
Before I let it go
I find new, better ways
To carry on the show

Started joking, started laughing, started crying, started doping
Tomorrow finds new time
To bury my *** alive

A cause is a substitute heartbeat
Keeps the way pure
I find new, better ways
To develop a cure

Quit loving, Quit fighting, Started Sleeping, Started Writing
Tomorrow finds new time,
Don't make me stay alive

I never felt so proud before
You laid me out on the floor
You father could hear us up above
A simple act of pure love
You struck me down forever more
A fatal blow dealt on the floor
Pure and white just like a dove
With a kiss you spoke your love

Fake it till you make it, darling
We're not all as happy
as you wish you were
Pretend at your mask
It'll start to impress her

This is the way of the world, sweetie
We're not all as happy
as the story books say
Some of us die slowly
It could happen any day

Love is an effort, not a feeling
We're not all as happy
as the therapist would claim
Sadness is not the evil
It's the wind or the rain

Knowledge comes at a price, dear
We're not all as happy
as the TV portrays
Joy is not a question
It's light that shines or fades

Count on those that count on you
We're not all as happy
as the songs that we sing
Life can be quiet
It can make your ears ring

Evil wins when you quit, honey*
We're not all as happy
as we think we have to be
We can make life beautiful
If you stay here with me