S D S: Poems

Jun 2013 · 262

S D S Jun 2013

Happy pills make me sad
But the frog song makes me lonely
If I can find two buttons to sell
Tomorrow won't be so homely
I need fingers through my hair
But no requests at my bed
Walking at night is quite peaceful
Yesterday is finally dead

Went to a wedding today. I hate watching people kiss after sitting still for 2 hours.

Jun 2013 · 2.4k

Everyone's Favorite Screw-Up

S D S Jun 2013

Everyone's Favorite *****-Up

I'm most fun angry
I'm least fun in love
People say I have an issue
No one speaks about me clear
I can't prevent my own failure
I can't say I'll never rescind

Now I'm successful
Despite my failings
Jealous is an ugly color
Everyone wears it near me now
I can't stop my own deception
I can't speak about my sins

Jun 2013 · 569

Bob Dylan is Never Wrong

S D S Jun 2013

Bob Dylan is Never Wrong

As he sang,
"Ain't nothing wrong with doing wrong"
I felt my stomach jump
I love the sound of the song
But I always believed
A man can't find any piece of mind
When he runs all-day-long
Sowing sorrow
With his hands

But the words,
"Ain't nothing wrong with doing wrong"
Aren't to cheer the liar
Cherish instead, the secret
The taboo and rude
A man can live outside the norm
Throwing norms
To the winds

Jun 2013 · 1.4k

Breeders are Gross

S D S Jun 2013

Breeders are Gross

Fluid swapping
Touching and Grabbing
And Starry eyes
You call it 'love'
I call it reproduction
I don't want to see
The way generations
Form up each decade
Keep your mating
Behind closed doors
Including the dating
The mating-call-dance

Jun 2013 · 936

Insanity is Interesting, they say; I prefer boredom.

S D S Jun 2013

Insanity is Interesting, they say; I prefer boredom.

When I was a boy
My life was erratic
Volcanoes in Antarctica
Jungles in LA
Shouts and anger; quiet farmstead

As I got older
My heart was erratic
Kisses in the hallway
Bruises on the cheek
Soft words and embraces; angry thoughts

Even older still
My mind was erratic
Screaming at the wall
More clever than ever
Lucid, powerful arguments; raving paranoid delusions

And here I am
I am erratic incarnate
A bundle of sluggish energy
A sonnet written for one girl and an excuse for another
A coil of madness tight around the bright spark of genius
A purely mechanical soul-filled destiny driven fate-less wonder
Do I laugh for the irony or madness?

Jun 2013 · 529

You can't fix crazy

S D S Jun 2013

You can't fix crazy

It doesn't matter how many days
Pass before my eyes
I find new, better ways
To let myself die

I quit smoking, I quit drinking, I quit running, I quit thinking
Tomorrow finds new time
To keep my *** alive

I'll search a hundred lifetimes
Before I let it go
I find new, better ways
To carry on the show

Started joking, started laughing, started crying, started doping
Tomorrow finds new time
To bury my *** alive

A cause is a substitute heartbeat
Keeps the way pure
I find new, better ways
To develop a cure

Quit loving, Quit fighting, Started Sleeping, Started Writing
Tomorrow finds new time,
Don't make me stay alive

Jun 2013 · 453

A Mind Half Full and Half in Flames

S D S Jun 2013

A Mind Half Full and Half in Flames

Madness grabs hold of me
Fog drifts through my ear
Nothing can wake me
Dead on my feet

There must be a real reason
No suffering without cause
Frustrates me to wonder
Can't cut the veil

Maybe I was a murderer
My soul feels so aged
Mischief might follow it
Sins of my heart

Sleeping is like burning
Waking brings drowning
Sweet rest must hide
In somebody's bed

Jun 2013 · 444

Every Night is Fear

S D S Jun 2013

Every Night is Fear

Every night comes panic
My Death finds me
Early in sleep

Rest is not the word
My thoughts are fire
My soul is dry

I see my oppressors
A face in my mind
Mercilessly clear

A different world lives
I can't save them
Victims of fear

The specters hang cold
I'm slow and cold
Daytime is weary

I can feel the sadness
Each me dies alone
How can that be

I hope they aren't real
The ****** they find
Punishments unjust

I daily dose and overdose
Freedom from sleep
Close to peaceful

May 2013 · 403

Pleasant Realization

S D S May 2013

Pleasant Realization

I thought I was a fish
Turns out I'm the river
Go find a shark baby
Cause I'm gonna flow
Rivers don't breed

May 2013 · 514

Every Man has a Type

S D S May 2013

Every Man has a Type

It's always the same
The same friends surround me
The same books fill my shelves
I meander down the same streets
I drift towards the same women
It's always a brunette
Probably brown eyes, but maybe green
Soft-heart-ed but with a sharp tongue
Some obsession that puts me second
Probably the same favorite food
If I'm not programmed,
I'm **** unlucky

May 2013 · 275

Vent at Midnight

S D S May 2013

Vent at Midnight

There's a sing-song voice
Ringing in my ear
And an atomic bomb
Bringing you here
I won't ever find
The secret to my life
As long as I run
And hide from the knife
I think of you often
With flowers in your hair
It may seem absurd
But I can't leave this chair

May 2013 · 989

Strength is not Machismo

S D S May 2013

Strength is not Machismo

I have seen tears
Big, fat, watery dribbles
Flowing like summer rain
Down the rough, bearded cheeks
Of the strongest men
Who I ever have known
I stopped crying
When I stopped caring
Maybe I'm stronger
More likely
Just cynical

May 2013 · 1.2k

Soul Mate

S D S May 2013

Soul Mate

Soul Mate
It sounds pretentious
I have both halves
Of the soul destined
To reside in me
I don't need
Any leftovers
What can that mean?
I don't know yet.

May 2013 · 852

Fear is relentless

S D S May 2013

Fear is relentless

Fear spreads like a chill
It ripples over my spirit
The way the autumn wind makes my body quiver

Fear infects what heals me
Sleep turns into torment
It's sweet embrace offers shallow solace

Fear makes rest strenuous
Nightmares find my weaknesses
My soul is shredded instead of sewn

Fear caresses my madness
If I take the sweet ******
I risk finding the dwelling of my terror

Fear grapples with need
I am addicted to sleep
With more ferocity than nicotine or alcohol

Fear is strong at night
The darkness feeds it
The infinite space gives its vastness advantage

May 2013 · 178

My best advice

S D S May 2013

My best advice

Sometimes you're happy
Sometimes you're sad
If you don't live in both of them,
You won't live in either of them

May 2013 · 446

I want to be a beast

S D S May 2013

I want to be a beast

The ******* part of me
It makes sleep impossible
It craves the basic things
Feeding it is impractical

I caged all my demons
The only tomb was my body
They gnaw at their bars
Now I have heart burn

This long battle of ethics
It hasn't made me happier
I know I have honor
I fear it is worthless

I gutted my romantic
His entrails became beautiful
My logic has new wallpaper
I miss being infatuated

I cleaned up my appearance
I covered it in fallacy
That make-up is acidic
My honesty is melting

When I lay down to rest
My beast screams for freedom
I hates its captivity
It must remained chained

May 2013 · 870

Insanity is a Butterfly

S D S May 2013

Insanity is a Butterfly

It's like a swarm
Of malevolent spectral butterflies
Green and black
Evil emanates
Corruption cascades
From each sickly flap
Of those tiny evil wings

It floats up
When you think you're perfectly safe
Calm and sane
Removing reason
Surmounting sensibility
At each cruel brush
Of a pair of hairy antennae

No one else
Believes there is a danger involved
Daft and Lucky
Blissful Blindness
Ignorant Innocence
Of the butterfly's bite
From its noxious proboscis

May 2013 · 294

Biography in 10w

S D S May 2013

Biography in 10w

I am an honest man.
I love to be alone.

May 2013 · 722

Electronic Companion

S D S May 2013

Electronic Companion

Alice whispers to me
The name of my hard-drive
With headphones in
And no sound playing
The little beeps
and fuzzy rasp
Reminds me of
Dear conversations
In a hushed murmur
About silly things

May 2013 · 483

Slip...pery Thou...ghts

S D S May 2013

Slip...pery Thou...ghts

When you say,
"Do you remember that day?"
I frown and I shrug
"I recall that hug."

"Our first kiss..."
Forgotten moment of bliss.
My thoughts always lost,
The Madness's cost

"That one night..."
"Was it after a big fight?"
"You don't remember."
"Was it December?"

Not a clue
What I could possibly do
"It meant that little?"
My mind is brittle

Can't take back
Already slipped down the crack
The look in her eyes
A part of me cries

Some have memory
My mind is too slippery
I still have my soul
Despite the big hole

May 2013 · 288

I wake up in my dreams and talk about sleep

S D S May 2013

I wake up in my dreams and talk about sleep

Is this a lie, or just a fantasy
I wake in my dreams
I sleep on my feet
Once I was tired
In a dream that I had
I woke feeling rested
And doubted my life
Was I always so tired
Or just living a dream
Am I awake now
Or just sleeping forever
I can't answer my question
Until I find sleep
I can't sleep one wink
Until I find peace

May 2013 · 1.1k

My brain is a dedicated troll

S D S May 2013

My brain is a dedicated troll

My insanity is inconvenient
It never overtakes me
When I want to write
Or when I want to love
I stay sane when I drink
Calm when I grow angry
My brain goes double-dolphin-riding-bear-juggling-t-rex-crazy
When I try to sleep

May 2013 · 490

Mouthless Doll

S D S May 2013

Mouthless Doll

There once was a doll
But she couldn't speak

She knew all the words
"Hello" and "Goodbye"
As well as "Thank you"
"No, thank you." and "Please"

She was silent for ever
Someone had neglected
To sew on a mouth
And she just sat there
With words in her throat,
And no way out

I wept for the waste
of beauty kept secret
She wept for the taste
of words on her tongue

May 2013 · 411

At war with myself

S D S May 2013

At war with myself

You could just lie
You'd get done faster
shut up, shut up
You could just cry
They'd buy it quicker
be quiet, be quiet
You shouldn't try
You'd have free time
quit it, quit it
You might just fly
You have to jump
I can't, I can't
You just can't die
You should smash it
Leave me, Leave me
You are mine
You can't escape me
*I will, I must

May 2013 · 592

Apple doesn't fall far

S D S May 2013

Apple doesn't fall far

******* world
I've got a new shirt
And ten dollars
My father never dreamed
I'd beat his record
Of "biggest *******"
This chip on my shoulder
Has bent my spine
And now I'm crooked
Just a con man
Like the daddy
I never knew

May 2013 · 553

Ramblings of the Heart

S D S May 2013

Ramblings of the Heart

Every woman looks like you
And I love them for it
Brown eyes
Brown hair
There was something uncommon
Despite the mundane traits

It's like my favorite birdsong
Or the best smells from childhood
Mixed with the best tastes
You were the spring and autumn
Of my childhood, adolescence, madness

You were the summer and winter
Of my heart, my soul, my desire
Brown Eyes
Brown Hair
My Mundane, Miraculous Madonna
My joy and Sorrow

I miss you even when
I'm right beside you
Because I can feel the parting to come
It breaks my heart that I can't hold you
and kiss away the tears
But he'll do just fine
And I'll toast your health, and his
While I drink alone
Again.

May 2013 · 339

A Self-Portrait

S D S May 2013

A Self-Portrait

On the precipice of disaster,
He waits with a smirk
"What more could you ask for?"
He's the world's biggest ****

No man knows his dark reasons
He walks without grace
"I'll die and live as the Seasons."
There's no beauty in his face.

Near to death but not yet done
He runs closer to Fate
"I live on wind, earth, and sun."
He seethes lies and hate

Adorned in stolen wits and charm
He falls into Hell
"No man or beast can do me harm."
His words a tide and swell

2 Poems; 1,2,3,4 and 1,1,1,1

May 2013 · 483

There's an echo in my head

S D S May 2013

There's an echo in my head

There's this drip-drip-drip-drip sound
Or maybe it's a tick-tick-tick-tick sound
It bothers me
All the time
It frustrates my thoughts
It smashes the clarity of my purpose
It decimates the sanctity of my
quiet
cold
prison

This sound comes from no earthly object
It knows no boundaries of time or space
It's maddening
When I'm still
It banishes the freedom of rest
It shackles my mind in dream states
It pulls down my thoughts with
each
little
sound

I tried to learn to ignore the constant noise
I even started to succeed at drowning it out
It waits for me
While I drown it
It lives on past the music
It thrives in the corners of my psyche
It finds a way to torture my
tired
ragged
soul

This hellish drip or tick will not stop
It even finds me when I sleep and dream
It takes everything
And it gives me nothing
It does not impart a wisdom
It does not improve my pathetic rhythm
It devours every little bit of
blessed
solemn
peace

May 2013 · 443

Particular Melancholy

S D S May 2013

Particular Melancholy

There is a certain kind of sorrow
It bleeds backwards from tomorrow
It seethes, rends, and screams at night
It whispers promises of yet unknown fright

There is a certain kind of terror
When you realize too late the error
The sort of mistake you can't take back
The kind that leaves you shrunken, black

There is a certain kind of lonely
That aches even more in the homely
It echos and rebounds until you're done
Chills your bones in the warmth of the sun

When these three meet, men will falter
Stumble and they catch you faster
They cut and change and rip and alter
They shout and call out to their master

Breathe in deep before they rise
They're easy to defeat my friend
Steady your heart; close your eyes
Each new fear is not your end

May 2013 · 484

Purgatory State of Mind

S D S May 2013

Purgatory State of Mind

Is this my life,
Or merely Purgatory?
Should I jump down
from the 6th story?
How can you tell
what is make-believe?
Is this a lie
I seem to perceive?
A friend of mine
once showed me light
Alone I found
the purest of night
I walk the line
From here to Hell
I know a secret
with no one to tell

May 2013 · 509

I'm a Winter-Man

S D S May 2013

I'm a Winter-Man

When there's nothing
When all is quiet
Except the cricket's song
I completely forget to smile

When the world slows
When all is quiet
And I sleep in a tree
I completely forget to smile

When all is hopeless
When all is lost
And the people despair
I don't cry, not even a bit

When people die
When all is lost
And my world changes
I don't cry, not even a bit

I'm the dead man,
Heartless Watcher,
Silver in my hair
And gold in my eyes

I'm a cold creature,
Heartless Watcher,
Blood on my lips
And fluid in my lungs

I remember being a man
It happens in the summer
Spring is the catalyst
Fall is the sedative

I remember smiles and tears
It happens in the summer
Winter is a long death
And it haunts my summers

May 2013 · 533

Madman's fall back

S D S May 2013

Madman's fall back

"Tell me a joke!"

Why does the chicken cross the road

"No, a funny one"

An Irishman walks out of a bar

"Come on, you know
Something that makes you
Laugh"

The future is bleak---
My laughter

"I don't get it"
"Why are you laughing"

*What else can I do?

May 2013 · 2.8k

Technology doesn't change people

S D S May 2013

Technology doesn't change people

The beauty of the internet
All those little lights
Flickering in the night
The LED's on my motherboard
And the shining brilliance of my peers

Once we hid in the darkness,
Each believing to be
The last of our kind
The miracle of the modern age
We can now all be
Alone together

May 2013 · 828

He's Deep Thinker, she said with a smirk.

S D S May 2013

He's Deep Thinker, she said with a smirk.

No one will tell you
Being "deep" has a diminishing return
After a while you're just
Cynical
Self-Absorbed
Pompous
Eccentric
Because you've gone too far
Shallow people don't want "deep"
They just want "deep-er"

Truly insightful people,
Great minds and intellectuals
Won't tell you the other part
About how if you keep digging
You'll go too deep
For anyone
Even you
And you'll bust the bottom out
And the whole **** well
Will spill out

And then you're nothing
Just an echo.

Apr 2013 · 416

Creature of Fire

S D S Apr 2013

Creature of Fire

Today my flesh burns to cinders
Tonight I light the funeral pyre
I will be free from what hinders
Midnight marks the height of fire

Am I dragon or dark phoenix?
My scales and fire hide my face
Secrets hide inside my helix
I will rise up in this place

Tonight I find my final breath
My first and last, and your end
Born again from harsh death
Watch me burn, my darling friend

I'm the beast that stalks the night
I have come to find the way
I will feed on fear and fright
And die again before each day

I suffer long and find no rest
I feast on love and burn the dead*
While this heart beats in my chest
I must hunt the darkness in my head

The flames lick cold over my skin
As the sun comes up on high
To start the funeral pyre again
And eat the fires so I might die

Apr 2013 · 243

I remember your eyes

S D S Apr 2013

I remember your eyes

Too sad, too sorry
I will fall into this folly

I cannot swim the sea
You could sit right here with me

Too happy, too funny
I will chase you always, honey

I cannot fly the skies
I love a girl who always cries

Too solemn, too lonely
You were my first and only

I cannot walk through the flame
I'm the one I'll always blame

Apr 2013 · 237

A Boy's Confusion

S D S Apr 2013

A Boy's Confusion

Is there blood behind your smile?
Sit with me and drink a while.
Can you find the brightest star?
Run with me, we'll go far.
What day is the last you'll stay?
I will do what you say.
Is there love inside that shell?
Don't cry dear, we're far from hell.
Can you stop all your laughter?
I'll be with you, now and after.
Why does it have to end?
**** me now, to be your friend.

Apr 2013 · 475

Don't Try to Fix This

S D S Apr 2013

Don't Try to Fix This

Can you hear what I am saying?
Will you sing while I am braying?
Will you run in fear and terror?
Will you find my eyes the fairer?

Can you see what I am doing?
Will you stop my poison brewing?
Will you scream and find a hero?
Will you weep and call me zero?

Can you save my heart from burning?
Will you stop your clever learning?
Will you give into the fire?
Will you laugh and call me liar?

Here's the secret you've been after
It's all madness behind my laughter
There's no end to this black
My heart's all sunder, rend, and crack

Here's the beginning and the ending
My will's all gone, my mind is bending
Run and hide, Go find shelter
I'll be screaming, helter-skelter

Here's the last breath I'll be breathing
My heart's filled with what you're seeing
This is not the outer-layer
I'm not wiser, stronger, braver

Apr 2013 · 379

I'm going to start smoking again

S D S Apr 2013

I'm going to start smoking again

Two things stay by my desk
Whiskey, a half bottle
A sugary snack or drink

I like to feed my soul
But with something foul
So I don't outlive my friends

I want to die young and beautiful
Too bad I'm ugly
But I can die young

Something haunts my sleep
A sick bed at 60
I won't let it happen to me

Apr 2013 · 579

Capitalism Ruins Expectations

S D S Apr 2013

Capitalism Ruins Expectations

I grew up on fairy tales
I thought it would happen
Like a rain in the summer

No one tells the child
That things don't happen
If you stay indoors a lot

The end never comes
Each new chapter is forever
But then the epilogue is here

How do you begin a love story
Should it start with "At the bar"
I thought "In the rain" sounded best

I never wanted romance
I only wanted you
I waited in the rain

Apr 2013 · 357

Happy-Loneliness

S D S Apr 2013

Happy-Loneliness

Life is easier,
with love
But love is easier,
without romance

Quiet solitude
Sanctimonious and Holy
A hermit in the wind

Life goes on
without you
But you are fun
to have around

Private horror
Ceremonial Cloistering
Old man at Twenty-Three

Apr 2013 · 1.3k

Farm-Boy in the City

S D S Apr 2013

Farm-Boy in the City

I howl when the moon comes out
It sounds like a kicked dog
But I love it

I run in the moon-lit woods
Or over the side-streets
I can't give it up

I chase the scent on the wind
Or the music down the alley
It's close enough

I run alongside my brothers
In a video game online
I miss the wood

I sleep surrounded by my pack
I lie down alone in my bed
It's not the same

I wake with no one there
I roll over and sleep
A boy without his dog

Apr 2013 · 1.3k

Just the Opposite of What is Needed

S D S Apr 2013

Just the Opposite of What is Needed

I feel inadequate
in the department of manliness
in the sector of occupation
in the division of romance
in the office of sanity

I feel abundant
in the regiment of weakness
in the foundation of lazy
in the organization of loneliness
in the ministry of madness

Apr 2013 · 488

I don't know what to do with my hands

S D S Apr 2013

I don't know what to do with my hands

My father built things
with his hands
My father fixed things
with this hands

I just spin lies
with my eyes
I find the "truth"
with my eyes

I don't know what to do with my hands
I feel like a bird
that walks on the ground
and barks like a dog

I don't know what to do with my hands
I built things once
now I don't even repair
I just destroy other's work

I don't know what to do with my hands
It's a fantastic presentation
But we just don't understand
why you did nothing with your hands

I don't know what to do with my hands
You're very persuasive
and I almost bought it
But you did nothing with body language

I don't know what to do with my hands
and I don't know why
I chase this life
Where I do nothing with my hands

Sparked by a favorite line in the movie "Paper Man"

Apr 2013 · 561

Medicated Nursery Rhymes

S D S Apr 2013

Medicated Nursery Rhymes

1 Pill, 2 Pill
Red Pill, Blue Pill

I can take them from the box
I can take them; stop my pox
I can take them, here or there
I can take them, ill or fair

Putrid Pink Pills Push Persuasion
Pounding Poor Percussion, Pointlessly

My Pills, your Pills
Drink and swallow
Red Pills, Blue Pills
Empty and hollow

I can take them before bed
I can take them; clear my head
I can take them, then or now
I can take them; show you how

Here's How Happy Has Hidden
Hateful, Hopeful, Hindered, High

This Pill, that Pill
Have to eat it
Red Pill, Blue Pill
Just can't beat it

1 Pill, 2 Pill
Red Pill, Blue Pill

Apr 2013 · 1.1k

The full title to this poem is longer than the poem itself

S D S Apr 2013

The full title to this poem is longer than the poem itself

Lies, disappointment
The poem is exactly
same syllable count

:D

Apr 2013 · 675

Honesty and Poverty are practical bedfellows

S D S Apr 2013

Honesty and Poverty are practical bedfellows

The secret is
There is no secret

Everyone else was told
The secret is there
Sometimes they forget
to tell the poor kids

We just guess
the secret is important
and funny enough
figure out first
that there is no secret

Now I can't help
but to speak and stop
blathering fools
from speaking around
the non-existent secret
to how life should be

Poor kids know
it's whatever you want
that life becomes
unless you're rich
then life is
what the commercials say

Apr 2013 · 330

Need that drink

S D S Apr 2013

Need that drink

The worst that could be
A violent hangover
Totally worth it

Apr 2013 · 478

Not meant for love

S D S Apr 2013

Not meant for love

Is it love that I want
Or just some compassion?
This melancholic runt
wears funeral fashion

It keeps me in good
with certain people
Not how a man should
behave says the steeple

Say the mild and meek,
You can't find your own answer
The words that they speak
an ignorant cancer

I worship my God
with laughter and prayer
barefoot upon sod
and wind in my hair

I swore off of ***
Of meat and strong drink
Still, Delilah's dark hex
wrote my name in blood ink

I found secrets in skin
and prayers in her giggle
and solemn chagrin
while she still wriggle

She took all my prayers
and tore them apart
shortened my hairs
and tore out my heart

My Oath was restored
in Madness and fever
Truth is my sword
sharper than cleaver

My love will flow free
despite my disgrace
The way I'll be
you'll find joy on my face

I can't have true love
won't be, won't happen
Both the sky up above
and wind speak compassion

Apr 2013 · 878

Old fashioned medicine

S D S Apr 2013

Old fashioned medicine

Again, the heartburn
Chicken and Whiskey to cure
The way Dad would do