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S D S Jun 2013
I blinded myself
I gouged out my eyes
I used two rusty prongs
On an old ***** fork
It hurt
A lot

Then I forgot
I couldn't remember why
I blinded myself for a reason
WHY?!
Why would I do this?!
How could this be?
For nothing?
For no one?
For me.

I dropped my eyes
I crawled in the dirt
The hard, dry ground
Was a cruel playground
Glass and old nails
Hazards unavoidable
Without eyes

I found my eyes
My hand brushed slime
Or was it tears?
I reeled back
Disgusted, by my own eye
But slowly,
With all the fear of ignorance
I reached out again
VICTORY!

I fixed my eyes
It was difficult
I spun them around
They swirled in the sockets
When light appeared
I stopped them still
With the fork
Mistake

My vision returned!
I could see the world
In all its glory
But mostly its horror
With sight came memory
It was from terror
I blinded myself to save
What little shred
Of humanity I had

With healing came scars
I couldn't remove
My scabbed eyeballs
Slick with blood
And now the world,
Frightening and brutal
Was painted a red
That was surprisingly
Pleasant
S D S Jun 2013
Happy pills make me sad
But the frog song makes me lonely
If I can find two buttons to sell
Tomorrow won't be so homely
I need fingers through my hair
But no requests at my bed
Walking at night is quite peaceful
Yesterday is finally dead
Went to a wedding today.  I hate watching people kiss after sitting still for 2 hours.
S D S Jun 2013
I'm most fun angry
I'm least fun in love
People say I have an issue
No one speaks about me clear
I can't prevent my own failure
I can't say I'll never rescind

Now I'm successful
Despite my failings
Jealous is an ugly color
Everyone wears it near me now
I can't stop my own deception
I can't speak about my sins
S D S Jun 2013
As he sang,
"Ain't nothing wrong with doing wrong"
I felt my stomach jump
I love the sound of the song
But I always believed
A man can't find any piece of mind
When he runs all-day-long
Sowing sorrow
With his hands

But the words,
"Ain't nothing wrong with doing wrong"
Aren't to cheer the liar
Cherish instead, the secret
The taboo and rude
A man can live outside the norm
Throwing norms
To the winds
S D S Jun 2013
Fluid swapping
Touching and Grabbing
And Starry eyes
You call it 'love'
I call it reproduction
I don't want to see
The way generations
Form up each decade
Keep your mating
Behind closed doors
Including the dating
The mating-call-dance
S D S Jun 2013
When I was a boy
My life was erratic
Volcanoes in Antarctica
Jungles in LA
Shouts and anger; quiet farmstead

As I got older
My heart was erratic
Kisses in the hallway
Bruises on the cheek
Soft words and embraces; angry thoughts

Even older still
My mind was erratic
Screaming at the wall
More clever than ever
Lucid, powerful arguments; raving paranoid delusions

And here I am
I am erratic incarnate
A bundle of sluggish energy
A sonnet written for one girl and an excuse for another
A coil of madness tight around the bright spark of genius
A purely mechanical soul-filled destiny driven fate-less wonder
Do I laugh for the irony or madness?
S D S Jun 2013
It doesn't matter how many days
Pass before my eyes
I find new, better ways
To let myself die

I quit smoking, I quit drinking, I quit running, I quit thinking
Tomorrow finds new time
To keep my *** alive

I'll search a hundred lifetimes
Before I let it go
I find new, better ways
To carry on the show

Started joking, started laughing, started crying, started doping
Tomorrow finds new time
To bury my *** alive

A cause is a substitute heartbeat
Keeps the way pure
I find new, better ways
To develop a cure

Quit loving, Quit fighting, Started Sleeping, Started Writing
Tomorrow finds new time,
Don't make me stay alive
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