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Just because they listen,
Doesn't mean they care.
Just because they're here,
Doesn't mean they're there.
Just because they're dead,
Doesn't mean they're gone.
Just because one day is bad,
Doesn't mean eveything is wrong.
 Oct 2013 Shadow
Clovina
I stare at those Eyes,
Watching them Die,
Stare at them Helplessly,
Watching them Cry.

I look Deeper,
Behind those Dark Eyes,
To see a Story,
Covered by a smiling Lie.

I walk through the Memories,
That feels less like a Dream,
I walk through the Nightmares,
That is her Reality.

I see a Girl,
In her Mother's Lap.

Sitting in the Dark,
Afraid of what'll come next.


Another memory,
Replacing the last,
Seeing a Girl,
Trying to out run her Past.

Scars on her Wrist,
Bruises on her Back.

Heart of Stone,
With Ice Cold Blood.

Crying in the Corner,
Alone in the Dark.

A Bitter Corpse,
Created by Heart.


I stare at those Eyes,
Watching them Slowly Die,
Stare at them Helplessly,
Watching them Cry.

I look Deeper.
Into those Blue Eyes,
To feel an Ocean,
Of a Melancholy Life.

Waves of Fear,
Ice of Guilt.

Thunder of Tears,
Tides of Sorrow.

Seas of Anger,
Storms of Pain.

Sighs of Lost Trust,
A Girl in Vain.


I stare at those Eyes,
Watching them Cry.
I seize a Moment,
To Close My Eyes.

I Grab Hold of Her,
And Hold her Tight,
Feeling her body shake from the Chaos,
That is Tormenting her Inside...
 Oct 2013 Shadow
Clovina
Drift
 Oct 2013 Shadow
Clovina
Distant distant far away
Night is swallowing our distant days
We grew apart, walking our separate ways
Keeping our secrets right at bay

Hide hide hide from fear
Scared of everything that comes near
Nightmares I do not wish to bare
Trying to live with little care

Lies lies I've been told
There is nothing I can hold
My heart is stone my blood is cold
Dare approach me if you are bold

Days, weeks, years go by
The ocean sings a lullaby
Wind in trees whisper a sigh
Time fades into the dark of night

They would come and they would go
Time and limit is still unknown
Drift and follow the Memory flow
Forget what will soon be shown
 Oct 2013 Shadow
Helen
Every day, the cracks in the sidewalk
draw my gaze, because, not because
I'm afraid of stepping on them
but because I'm afraid of tripping
The cracks themselves, in terms
of wishes don't bother me
I won't ever break my Mummas back
It's how they seem to raise above
the norm of a flat surface to navigate
Trying to make this idiotic body
fall, just sprawl lifelessly, is the crack
But I am born of more studiousness
I don't want to look up from pavement
into laughing faces, amidst concern
gasping with feigned indifference
I want to fill each crack with perfection
from my heel, from my fingertips, clawing
away the empty earth that filters between
and settles, hidden beneath crust and dirt
I want to open the crack to study it's girth
to reveal what it hides, unseen
If there are worlds yet undiscovered
they are hiding in the cracks of the
Sidewalk of Life
Stumbled upon by one who wants to dig
and get their hands *****, on their knees
because they fell, laughing on the way down
 Oct 2013 Shadow
---
Pretense
 Oct 2013 Shadow
---
Early in our relationship
I made a drawing
Remove the mask
I felt no need to mention it.
But I think a mask really isn't a
Good thing.
Not only does it fool others
It suffocates you.
It also makes your face sweat.
 Oct 2013 Shadow
The New Kestrel
There is never enough time.
It's screaming at me, echoing in my seemingly
Empty
Skull. Ringing in my ears, tearing my neck away.
I can't breathe.
I am new, but I can't write about it.
Too much time to think...
Yeah right. I calmly feel numb. Blank.
 Oct 2013 Shadow
NitaAnn
Our Secrets
 Oct 2013 Shadow
NitaAnn
I am miserable today – seriously, what’s up with this pain? All day long….yeah, it’s all in my head. I have an overwhelming need to just escape. And I understand the things I do are the biggest contributing factor to my misery.

Oh, I hear that faint voice, “Nita, you just need to make different choices, make a conscious choice to love yourself, not hate yourself.” Sounds so simple, doesn’t it? But see, at night, that voice is drowned out by the booming voice that says, “Nita, you know you want to hurt yourself. It will help you. Calm you. No one needs to know. It is our secret…our secret…our secret…our secret… You want to. You want this. It is what you want. What you need. Our secret. Listen to me. You can trust me. I will take care of you. Our secret. Our secret…”

It hurts.
Our secret.
It hurts to keep secrets.
I don’t want to keep secrets.
I don’t like them.
Our secret.
Too many secrets.


And I thought, if I could just get away from all of them, start over… just go somewhere else – I could make it not true. I could escape and make it disappear. It never happened. But still there are all these secrets. Still it hurts. Still here is no escape. I couldn’t undo it. I can’t undo it. I can’t start over. Too many secrets followed me, sit with me, torture me, hurt me, hate me.
Too many secrets...follow me, sit with me, touch me, hurt me, torture me...hate me...
 Oct 2013 Shadow
---
Nice
 Oct 2013 Shadow
---
Am I too nice?
Or just run by the societal expectation
That you hurt nobody?
The 1% that care enough to be silent
Almost every time...
I would never hurt myself
I am hurt enough by others that that is never a problem.
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