I'll be your witness
In sickness
And in health.

I'll be your pet
For entertaining responsibility  
And affectionate love.

I'll be your home
For comfort
And understanding.

I'll be your toy
-
I was your lover
Until I'm old news
And you find another to be fixed.

I know it's wrong of me to dial your number at this hour
But my glass turned empty
And my head filled up.

I know I'm not her
She is so easy
And I am me.

I'm trapped in the web of
Second chances, what if's, and used to be's.
Competing in the championship of
last calls.

"Remission"
It's such a beautiful word
Giving an illusion so strong you might truely believe you are done.

You are no longer sick;
You are in remission.
You are on pause.
You are in a peaceful
limbo.

I gaze empty out of the window
There's a cat watching the birds from the root of the tree.
"Noddy?"
My doctor keeps talking in the background of wind, beauty and heartbreak.

It's aggressive this time

And all I can think of is how I am empty
My poet is gone
And both physically and emotionally
I am dying.

Promises broken into a nightmare where all dreams
come true, into a strange realm i seached for control.
Smother my furies and banishe my fears.
Nightmares that form out of darkness
nightmares that travel stormy black seas
nighmares that reach misty shores
where my thoughts live.
I am home but it doesn't feel that way,
the sea has taken my soul and waves break me down.
Through my darkness i find myself to you,
in my chest still beats a heart.
I fight for my love, i fight for my dreams,
now there is a way to win.