i imagined you standing there in front of me
not wasting any second to hug me
you’re out of breath
worriedly running
it’s like you know what i’m thinking on those moments
when i don’t answer your call during those times
you get extremely worried
because you mindlessly know, during those times,
that my mind is in between wars,
it’s in between chaos and sadness,
and my heart is a wreck,
a train full of endless cries,
wherein you know i’ll give up at any second
but you’ve known i’m strong
you’ve known i’ve been through a lot
so you did just that
in my imagination, you were there
not saying anything
not wasting any second
to hug me

it’s the 3-month mark now
and guess what?
i still love you
more than i could ever love anyone else

it's the first time in months that i told someone
that i still love you
they asked if we're still talking
and it hurt me to say no

it's okay
i can always smile

maybe my way of coping
is also the way that hurts me
by putting meaning into everything
it makes all the memories difficult to forget

you don’t even have to ask
if i can keep you in my heart
you’ll always stay
here, always

and when i’m feeling extreme emotions
like feeling genuinely happy or sad
there’s this unknown phenomenon where all i could think
is you
and when that happens
it feels as if the pain is as new
as how the pain felt on the day we ended