what if i really love unconditionally?
what if, all the people that went through and is still in my life, i loved them dearly? like the love that “i’ll do anything for you.”
but i’m just held back by traumas. i’m held back by unhealthy patterns, like the lyric, “i’ve watched this movie before and i know the ending” kind of feeling.
i never really regretted every decision that i had, but it’s sad. it’s still making me sad.
that living in this earth, there was always no option for me to stay.
that staying will make me feel miserable.
that the decision of staying isn’t exactly what i feel like i should do.
and it *****, you know? because i’m so tired, and i just really wanna have a constant in life. a constant in everything.
i do have friends who i treat as constants, and i firmly know that they’ll stay.
but i want someone to be my companion. that it’s more painful to let go than to hold on. that i have no choice but to stay. and that person will fight for me, for us.
the same way i’ll fight for us, too.

Love is peace.
Love is where the birds chirp in the sky, no smoke is seen.
Love is where the wind blows right, hair strands in sync with the flow.
Love is where the cars mildly run on a highway, no over-speeding.
Love is where kids are running in a wide field, catching each other as if they are in another universe.
Love is where balloons are filled with helium, held by a kid's hand.
Love is where foods are all over the place, people patiently lining up to buy food, catching up with their friends while they wait.
Love is where you can hear laughters loud and clear, as if reality is so far away.
Love is where you hear the sea waves gently clash through the rocks.
Love is where you share picnic mat with your friends, or coworkers, sharing food.
Love is where you look at the skies, talking to someone you love, as if you're both alone in the world.
Love is where you made someone smile in the little things that you do.
Love is everywhere. Peace is everywhere.
You just have to look for it.

"there are people waiting to meet you.
people waiting to love you.
there are places that stand still
until you've stepped foot in them.
something really beautiful
could happen for you in the morning.
there is so much waiting for your arrival.
arrive there."

- brianna pastor