it's how the leaves die
it's beautiful when portrayed as art
but at the end of the day
it's how something is gone when you least expect it

she got so used to sadness
that when it's time to choose
sorrow is the only option

there's this part of her that's always longing
always sad
always craving for something that will make her feel happy that she doesn't even know
it always comes knocking at her door,
unwanted

they say she needs to tend her own wounds
she needs to heal by herself
and she understands this, one hundred percent

but no one reminded her how hard it would be
how sad it could get
and how lonely it would feel
to heal by yourself

it's cool how a person can be someone's "almost" lifetime
like you're "almost" together, for the rest of each other's lives

i've been someone's "almost" lifetime
that right now, i don't want to go through that again
i don't want to be another's almost again

yes it's cool
but...

but it's way beautiful, out of this world,
and incomparable
to be someone's "certain" lifetime

it's the second time i'm looking at you, sleeping
i would never trade this to the world

it will always be you.
through the hardships, i'll still be choosing to love you
24/7, this and the next lifetimes, til our last breath

unhealed traumas, unbearable pains, untended wounds,
despite all of these, i want to be better
i want to love you right
i want to understand you
i want to take care of you, til the end of times

i love you
i miss you
i trust you
i appreciate you
i believe in you

i can say this with confidence,
that you're my person, and will forever be my person
i'm sure
you're my 911
you're the person i want to grow old with
you're someone my soul couldn't live without
i'm homesick without you

i'll be better
i'll heal
i don't want to lose myself
but most especially,
i don't want to lose you.

everywhere I go
I leave pieces of myself
and receive others