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 Oct 2014 phi
Graced Lightning
I was always told that I was star potential. If only people could see what I have bottled up inside of me, I could be famous. I'd be world renowned. I'd be a star. But I was his whole galaxy and now that he's gone, I don't feel like a star. To go from a universe to a star is so abrupt. One day you're someone's everything and the next you're no one's anything. I want to be a galaxy again. I wish someone could see stars in my eyes and taste cosmic dust on my tongue. To see a universe in a single person. I wish I could know what it's like. To look at someone and see everything, right there. But I know that everyone is someone's everything. Every person is someone's universe. Their planets, their sun, their moon, their stars. I am my own universe. I am the sun, the moon, the stars, the comets, the asteroids, the dust of what is to be. I am the future, the present, the past. I am my own everything. So I'll wait. I won't settle for someone who doesn't make the world turn, who doesn't have stars in their eyes, whose tongue doesn't taste like the cosmos. I'm waiting for my other galaxy ☾ ☼  ☆

**♛all the powers in the universe are already mine. I just can't see them♛
 Sep 2014 phi
Graced Lightning
he wishes he could collect girls
like butterflies
pin them to the wall,
show them off,
but I am the only one
who ever flew into the net
 Sep 2014 phi
Graced Lightning
When men leered at me and boys glanced down my shirt and when I was invited into a bedroom or down an alleyway I always said no because I had a boyfriend. But now that I don't, what's my excuse for not wanting someone to want me?
 Sep 2014 phi
Theia Gwen
I sit in a flimsy plastic chair that squeaks at the slightest movement,
Ana stands because it burns more calories and says I should do the same
My arms are folded over my chest, slouching and brooding
The bracelet Ana bought me sounds like shackles when I move
The wedding band on my finger weights more than I do
"Why are you here today?" Our therapist asks
"She's been cheating on me with that **** Mia!" Ana yells
"I already told you it didn't mean anything. We were broken up then."
My explanation makes her angrier though and she snaps,
"You just can't handle commitment!"
I've heard her use this voice multiple times and a list of all the insult circumnavigates my brain
Never good enough

"You call this uncommitted?" I point to my stomach which growls on cue
Our therapist asks how long we've been together
I say over 2 years
Ana says we've been together my whole life
I tell him she's abusive
"It doesn't look like she's done that much damage" He notes
When the hours up Ana walks to the door
I tell her I just need a minute
I turn to our therapist who's already packing up
"Please help me. I need to get our of this relationship now!"
He ***** his head up as if it's the simplest answer in the world,
"Then why don't you just eat?"
Ana= Anorexia
Mia= Mia
My bulimia's gone and has turned back into my old friend Ana hence this poem.
 Sep 2014 phi
Graced Lightning
Dear you,
I hope you know that no boy is ever worth saying yes when you really mean no. If he really loves you, he'll understand. You don't need validation from anyone. You're beautiful on your own, in your own way. You may not be perfect, but to someone you are. You'll just have to find him. He's out there somewhere. I hope you've already met him, but it's ok if you haven't. There's no need to rush into anything. Except for change. Rush into change because you're afraid of it but it's happening right in front of you and there's nothing you can do about it. So face your fears head-on and embrace the changes in your life. Embrace your sexuality. Embrace your ever-changing moods. Embrace the present, because you'll never get it back. But most of all, embrace yourself. Don't forget to care for yourself, because someday at the end that's all you'll have left. Don't forget it.
Love, you
 Sep 2014 phi
Graced Lightning
I thought I knew you as well as I knew myself.

but I guess I don't know either of us.
 Sep 2014 phi
Graced Lightning
The mirror is my worst enemy.
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