I often wonder
Who I really am
How so much has changed
Over the years
But one question
Still lingers in my heart
Why...

I have many friends
Just like me
But not quite me
Even they wonder the same
Why...

I felt I was diffrent
I felt so out of place
I felt something was missing
There is an eternal void
Why...

She gave me away
And I dont know why
So many questions
The answers I may never find
God put me here
For reasons still unrevealed
Until he shows me
I may never know.

It is hard being adopted
With questions unanswered
But something wonderful
Always makes me smile

I would never
Have
What I have now
If it wasnt for the adoption
I have a wonderful
Loving
Protective
Tight knit family
I call my own.
I have three children
Whom I love and protect with my life.
My parents
Whom
At times
Do tend to
Get on my last nerve
With the lectures
But deep down
I know they love me

They love me
The best they can
This is my legacy
This is who I am..
I am an adopted child
And im grateful
My family is apart of
My adopted legacy.

I heard stories
About forbidden love
Forgotten as the years
Flew by

But something
Still lingers
In my long forgotten memories
A touch
A kiss
Words hardly spoken
But often understood
And misunderstood
By most.

I feel the softness
Of your caress
Upon my skin
As the heat builds up inside
Your gentle and feather like kisses
Sends my heart to beat rapidly.

I look into your eyes
And loose myself completely
As you move away
The fear takes hold of me

You wrap me
In your arms
Keeping me safe and warm
I close my eyes
And listen to your heartbeat
Strong
Reassuring.

Show me what it is like
To feel what you feel...
Show me..
Your Angelic Passion.

She stood beside the armor clad angel
Clad in her own armor
She listened quietly
As he went over the battle plans
She had her fears
She had seen the enemy forces
And reported back
She also spoke of how she felt
That the battle ahead was pointless
But they had their orders
As they mobilized
And prepared for war
She turned to her leader
Her love
And he looked to her
"We may not be together after
All this...
But I want to tell you I Love You."
She held her head high and nodded.
He knew she loved him
Unbridled
With a fury that would shake any mortal to his knees.

As they fought alongside their fellow comrades
She tried to stay close to him
However with the waves of demons
They become seperated
When its said and done
She makes her way
Back to his side
But sees him
Get run through by a demon sword
Instantly she shattered
Her anger went into overdrive.
Catching his body he went limp in her arms
Her eyes close as an evil force
Begins to emerge
Her skin goes red
And nails sharp
Her white wings turn black
His body falls to her feet
The anger in her eyes
Made the ground rumble
And the sky darken
She let out an inhuman scream
Within her hands
She destroyed the rest of them
Angels and Demons alike
She did not care
She had lost control
As she stood alone on a ****** battlefield
Someone spoke her name
Turning around
She sees him
In his angelic glory
He moves quick
And kisses her
Her rage died in that kiss
"You are my queen"

Standing together
One an angel
The other a demon
Both in love


" An angels fury makes her a demon, but his kiss made her his  queen"

God I know you are there
Please take time to listen
To this sinners prayer
I know Ive done wrong
Throughout my life
I just wanted to be forgiven
And make the wrong things right.
I have a big heart
Or so I am aware
But why make me suffer
Hardly seems fair
So show me your way
To make me strong everyday
God I know you hear me
Now I bare my heart and soul
For only you to see.

Traveling along
Through space
And time
The ageless question
Haunts me
Are you thinking of me?

It tears at my core
When I worry
I reach out
For a chance
To touch you
However lite
Feather like
As it may be
I feel a sharp pain
Circculate through
Every fiber of my being
As I recoil
I feel it from you
It is visible in your eyes
What have I done...

Please tell me
Dont let
Me become a mere
Memory
Dont let the rain
Wash away the love
We have for each other

I watch the tears fall
Onto white sands
We saw the same sunrise
And now the same sunset
Dont let it set on our end
Please instead
Let the sun set on our new
Beginning.

You are nothing
You are pathetic
You are worthless
You are a mistake
You are an idiot
You are a fool
To think someone would love
one such as you...

Being told these things everytime
Makes anyone feel low
And makes them feel
Like they truely
A Waste of Space.

Beautiful artist
Why do you dance
To entertain us
With a world shrouded
In mystery

Beautiful artist
Men awe at your beauty
As you dance across the stage
Movement flowing
Like water

Clad in layers of silk
Beautiful artist
You capture the facination
Of those who visit

Beautiful artist
Paint your face
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

Wife to a secretive world
Both fragile as it is beautiful
So wear the name proudly
Beautiful artist
From now on you will be called
Geisha.

Red crimson flows
Through my veins
Soft like your fingers
As they glide over my skin
Molding me against you
Taking full control
As you become more
Urgent
I look into your eyes
Is that lust I see there?
As you continue
Your nails drive deep into my skin
As you bite down into my neck.
I feel the blood rush forward
As you hold me close
Both bodies shuddering
As I go almost lifeless
You give me your blood to save me
Why?
Is it lust you feel twords me
As I change I become angry
All I wanted was blood
Mainly yours
You grab me as I scream
At you
"Why did you turn me...
Was it my blood you wanted...
My body... Was it lust..."
He held me close
Whispered in my ear
"No my dear it isnt lust at all...
It is out of love that I turned you..
I laid claim to your heart, body, and soul...
You are my lifemate
For eternity..."

I look outside
At the world
My mental state
Is shaken
And spirit torn.

I worked so hard
For things throughout my life
Only to have them taken
Out from under my feet.

Why are you letting this happen?
What have I done to deserve this?
I work my hands
To the bone
My body wants to break
And turn to dust
But my will wont allow it

When will you let me eternally rest?
Do you hate me so much
That you enjoy watching me
Suffer in agony?

I find myself outside your house
I know you beckon me
To come in and return home
But I cannot
I am not at peace
Should I enter
The Darkness may rear its head
In protest

Please forgive me
As I walk away.
I do not deserve this life
This soul
But you gave it to me
I know
I am special
And these gifts
You have given me
I appreciate them
I adore them

When my time comes
I will tell you about them
How happy it made me
The strength you gave
The power it took
To get up
And
To brush the dirt off
My soul just
To finally
Come Home.

Should I die tomorrow
Will you carry me down that isle?
How would you handle
Seeing me lay there
As if sleeping

Will you carry me down?

Your tears would fall
Upon my cold skin
Never to feel the warmth
Of your touch
Never to see
Your smile
Nor to hear your voice

Will you carry me down?

Could you face me
As they lower me into the ground
Under the ever graying skies
Would the rain wash away
Your sadness
And pain
As they shovel dirt
Onto me
As I lay
In my final resting place

Will you carry me down?

Would you visit me
Every year
On the day of my death
Or would you walk away forever
I am asking you

Will you carry me down the isle on that final day?

I had another nightmare
About my life and you
I know your ok
But this one its hard to forget

I make my way down a dark hall
My hands brush the sides so I dont fall
The walls feel wet
Is it paint or is it blood
Im afraid to find out

I make my way to a room
Lit by only candle glow
They lead me to the center
Where I see a young girl
Dressed in white

She is crying because boys hurt her
She screamed for help but noone came
I look around and see a coffin
Flag drapped over it
My heart races
Thinking it is you
Laying there.

With shakey hands I open the lid
I fall backwards and scoot back across the floor
It is my body....
But how....
Why...
Who did this...

Three hooded figures step
From deep inside the darkness
Each having a word across the chest
Past...
Present...
Future...

I pull the little girl close to me
Shielding her if they tried
The figures smile and raise a hand
Something happens
As if I was hit several times
But I didnt fall
I didnt move

As suddenly as they appeared
They disappeared
The little girl
Lay in my arms
Her blood
Bright crimson
Flowing upon the cold stone floor

She looks up and touches my face
I mentally break
I kept saying
Im sorry....
Im sorry...
She looks away from me as a white golden glow encases her
Small figure

She is taken from my arms by
A guardian angel
As he stands to leave
I simply ask
Who is she...
He stops
Turning to me
He speaks
"You know who she is...
She is you... At age 10...
The age you lost part of her...
Your innocence..."

I stare at the angel
"Then where were you...
Who are you..."

He smiled
"I was protecting you....
Though you did not see me...
You sensed me....
And you fought back...
You know who I am...
I will be watching and waiting...
And when your time is up...
I will come for you..."

I woke up in a cold sweat.
But the angels words echo
In my heart
"You know who I am...
When your time is up...
I will come for you...."

A woman
Dances alone
Among the trees
In white
Against the pink petals
Of the ancient
Sakura trees

Her raven black hair
Swirling in the gentle breeze
As the petals dance with her
Soft
Fragile
Tender

Branches sway in the breeze
As if conducting
Music to her heart

Her love flowed with her movement
Her soul sang out
Her voice carried on the breeze
Until night fall

Clouds roll in as it rains
The gentle rain falling on the blossoms
But where was she
She was crying
Her tears were the rain

A stone rested among the trees
A gentle rustle moved the petals
Revealing her name
Her body rested there
Her favorite place

So she is seen dancing
By day
By night she cried
As the trees
Contined to play
To her dance of her heart.

Darkness
Here I am again
Standing in front of you
Head down
Blood dripping from my wrists

Why Did I leave..

You kept me alive
Immune from pain
of love and loss
Sheltered
Protected
Safe

Was it for the right reasons?

I took a chance
Walked away from you
I thought I could
Face what was thrown at me
I saw Death
Gave Life
Felt Pain

So Why Am I Here Again?

I dont want to feel
Anything negative that I feel now
The only thing i want to feel
Is Love.

May I?

So In trust
I return to the way
I was before
Just to feel that balance
Restore what was
No longer in balance.

Thank you

My guardian
My love
My friend
Forever by my side

Darkness

Dark
Mysterious
Eyes that could lure
The most vunerable women
He just raised a finger
His will was done.

Who could match his will
New within the walls
Lurked someone
Who had a will of steel
Much like the weapons
She practiced with

She never spoke
Her eyes would speak for her
The warriors she encountered
Would lay their weapons down
At this ones feet.

He had heard
Of this silent warrior
So summoning her
He waited

To his suprise
She appeared
Standing in the rafters
Watching him
Instead of jumping down
Her image disappeared
And reappeared in front of him.

As he spoke
Her eyed flickered
She was a demon
When he was finished
A smiles crossed her face.
Her voice was barely above a whisper

"Dark Prince..
You summoned me...
Yet...
You cannot fathom....
The power I can unleash...
But I will stay...
But mark my words...
Tonight...
Darkness will forever...
Be your throne..."

She stayed with him
Staying in his shadow
Her demonic eyes
Flicker
Waiting for her time to play
From her Dark Prince.

Shadows
In which I reside
Feel the raw power
Deep inside my veins

Dark energy
Flows in mass
Amounts
Leaving you cold and afraid

Think you are safe
In the dark
Dont make me laugh
I am the one everyone
Talks about
Jokes about
But when
I come for them
They try to get away
Failing miserably
For the shadows
Are my Dark Territory

So here we go again
Same old ****
Im the mega *****
Honestly
I could care less.

You did it again
Set me
The *******
But this time
Like I said
I dont give
A flying **** anymore

Cause this is the end
This was it
I work come home
To what or who
My kids
Happy to see me
Im glad they do

The other
Nowhere to be seen
No word
No text
No call
Ya know I am sick of this ****

The whole planet
Can burn before
You notice im there
Friends are more
Important to you
Meanwhile I hug
A teddy bear
At night to sleep
I may as well pour my emotion
Into it because
Otherwise it is being wasted

This depression
This battle
There is no survival
And thats fine
Because
When i go to hell and your there
Your going to be...
My *****.

Never heard
Always misunderstood
Alone
Misguided

Dont wake me up

Why would anyone
Care
Cold inside and out
Shadows of former self
Dance upon the wall.
People tear at the shell
Trying to find a way
Inside
To plant their
Unholy seed
Erasing meaningful memories

Dont wake me up

The frail shell
Is on its last leg
As she crumbles
To the ground
They stare at it
Lifeless

Dont wake me up

They walk past her
In a single file
Some crying
Others cursing
Never listened to the victim
Even twords the end
A voice carried on the wind
Accompanied by a cold
Fragile laugh

"Just remember what I said
Dont wake me up when I am dead."

After a long day
I lay down
In my empty bed
As I drift to sleep
My mind formulates
An image

No not fabio
No celebity
Just a man
Ordinary in looks
That is pefect for me.

Sitting beside me
Hes easy to talk to
We talk about so much
He smiles through most if it
Until he reached over
And touched me

Leaning in close
He kissed me
I felt everything
All his emotions
Just from that one kiss

"I have to leave you tonight.
I will see you again my love..
Until then I love you."
He said as he faded away.

I awoke feeling warm
As if someone held me
Throughout the night
I smiled

I feel I know him
But your name never leaves my lips
For now until I see you
You are my Dream Partner.

Closing my eyes
I drift off to sleep
Restless
Unbridled thoughts
Cloud my mind

I walk among
Sakura trees
Thier bases glowing
With kanjis barriers
To ward off evil
But something is off.

The petals are wilted
The grass around is brown
Instead of green and alive

As I make my way among them
I hear the flutter of wings
Not to sure what to expect
I climb one of the trees

At the highest point
I see two figures
One white winged
The other black
They seem to be circling
Around something or someone

I climb down
Venturing forth
Cautiously
Not understanding why
Are they here for me?
Why in my safe haven?

The closer I got
The more I saw
Between the two
Layed a body
Hovering just above the ground
Raven black hair
Hung as a halo
Underneath her cold
Deathlike skin.

She layed there
In a soft white
Satin gown
As if in an eternal slumber.

The two fighters
Commensed the attack
On each other
As I watched
The body began to glow.
A bright white energy
Followed by a black energy

I realized then
They were fighting for her.
I came close to the body
As I looked at her face
I froze
My whole body went cold.

I was looking at myself
What *** going on?
As I looked at the two angels
My eyes widened in horror
What was so special about me?

I tried to wake myself up
I shook my body
As they fought
And the ground beneath me
Shook violently.

I screamed
As the swords clashed
I shielded my body
As the final few blows
Were delivered
As the ground rumbled

Opening my eyes
I look down
My body was still glowing
Only white
Accompanied by a red light
From the chest.

He picked up my body
And cradled it close
As he did
White wings formed
On the back
As she opened her eyes

She smiled at me
As she opened her wings
Embracing me
She whispered something in my ear.
I smiled..
Both took to the sky
As a sunbeam
Shined through the clouds
Showing them the way home.

I understood
Ive awakened
I spread my wings
And fly
Home
Where I belong.

My heart
Heavy
With a burden
Unlike anything
I have ever felt
I lay at your alter

You spoke
Of letting things go
Wash away like waves
Upon the shore.

Forgivness
After everything
I have seen
Done
Heard
It is hard
And it hurts
To let go.

Its shaped me.
Though I do not understand
Why
Nor will I
Until the time is right

Teach me
Your ways
Through
Your Joy
Your selfless ways
Your compassion
Your tenderness.

With you to guide me
In my ways
I will learn
And walk the path
Of the Enlightened Heart

So she is called
Angel of silence
Always watching
What others do
Not saying anything

Walking among humans
Always shrouded in darkness
Her eyes barely readable
To those who knew of her exsistance
People feared
What they would find
So they never spoke to her

When the time came
However
People did not dare
Approach her
For she had seen their life
Weither she deemed them worthy
Of continuing to draw breath
She did not care

Angel of silence
She was dubbed
But more effective name
The Angel of Death
For your life may be next
To end on this final day

Good luck in life
I hope you see
You will end up facing
Evangelium de Silenti

I thought about
The things you said
And I have come
To this conclusion

It hurts me
It hurts you
But you wish to be
Friends with benefits
And I do not want that

We are splitting
For things on my end
And that is fine
But now that your my ex
I cannot look at you
Nor touch you like I did

So this is my reasoning
I dont want
Friends with benefits
I just want to be your friend

When you said its over
Everything shut down
Mentally to physically
Epecially emotional

I was through crying
Tears over you
Over the bad things
I either said or did

I used to know you
Now your completely diffrent
You swear your the same
No you are not
What you dont see
Others see

I may have made you
Into what you are
And I am sorry for causing it
But I am not strong enough
To change you back
I tried before
Only to fail

So now
We go our seperate ways
Just as friends
My reasons are my own
But this is mine
You are just a friend
And
An ex for a reason.

Weep not, oh fallen one
The angels are weeping for you
Beautiful and graceful
You walk among us
Living your life as we do
Strong willed
Loving
Sharing words of wisdom
Helping those in need
Never asking for anything in return
Still they continue to weep
And when you drew your last breath
The angels wept then
For an angel had returned home.

I've never felt this way
In years.
22 years to be exact
Until that day
When he put his hands
On my throat.

My life flashed
Right before my eyes
I saw my funeral
My children crying
As they lowered me
Into the ground.

All he wanted was my car keys
But I stood my ground
I said No Twice.
I screamed out
Which caused him to run.

People ask
Are you alright
I answer honestly
No im not fine

I came close
To knocking on heavens door
That day
I escaped
But not entirely
You can call it luck
I call it a curse
Because now

I fight a diffrent battle
The curse he left behind
Utter and eternal
Fear.

Sitting here
Alone with my thoughts
My emotions
One thing
I cant seem to shake
Is the feeling
Im losing you.

You have
Watched over me
Protected me
Love me
In such a way
Many cannot understand
But something lingers
In the darkness
Waiting for the right time
To pull me back
Back into its clutches
And keep me chained
Never to see you again.

Why does this happen
Why let me taste heaven
Happiness
In my loves arms
If you just
Are going to take it away
And condemn me
To walk this world alone.

I feel them closing in
And I know what they want
Bind me to you
Forever my love
Before I lose my way forever
Condemned to walk
In this mortal world
Forever searching
And Forever Alone.

Tall
Mysterious
A man sat
On a throne like chair
As he waited
For everyones arrival.

This setting was new
To someone like me
So I slipped inside
And stayed in the shadows
Watching men and women
Endulge
In endless conversations

My eyes
Scanned the room
The host
Was no longer sitting

"My dear...why are you hiding?"
I turned sharply
To find him standing
Next to me
Leaning against the wall

" I was only observing...
I am sorry if I disturbed
Your gathering.."
I said with a shakey voice.
He smiled
As he came closer to me

Tilting my head up
I felt his eyes burn
All the way through me
His breath
Hot but steady
Brushed against my skin
As his lips were so close to mine.

"Shall we take a walk?"
He whispered
In a seductive tone
I bit my lower lip
Nodding he led me
Down a corridor.

I felt everything
The way I used to be
The urdge to control
Melted away in his presence
I felt my body ignite
In a heated fury
Untamed
Pure instinct
Yet protected
By this man.

Once behind the doors
He took control
Things happened
That I never thought possible
Waves of passion washed through me
Over and over
Between us both.

Laying in his arms
Held close
Breathing rapidly
Then steadily
I felt something
Brush my throat.

His touch feather like
Traced my skin
Sending chills
Down my spine

"I choose you..
You are mine...
Now I am
Your Forever Master"

Alone
Lost and forgotten
I carry on
Throughout my life
Wandering
Hoping to find
Meaning
Of my meaningless exsistance.

For months
I thought of things
Reasons
No more excuses really
As to why
What did I do to you
And the answer never appears
So why do I even bother

Holding onto something
That at the time
Felt so good
So right
And for what
Just to be cast
Into the darkest
Recesses of this wretched life
By those closest to me

What will it take?
What do you want?
Tell me...
Or am I just a fleeting memory

I know I mean nothing now
I knew it from the start
My mind has fallen victim
To sweet
And empty
Promises
The grounds
Have been defiled
With lies
Wrath
Envy
Lust
Disloyalty
To where it has no room
For honor

So I walk alone
In this life
With nowhere in mind
For you see
All I ever was and ever will be
Is Forsakened.

Dark
Isolated
A heart that used to beat
With love
Now beats
With pain
Sorrow
Hatred for life
Death was its only comfort

She places the necklace
Over her bleeding heart
The bright crimson color
Matching the color
Of the tears she hides

Her nails black
Matching her soul
Once vibrant
She would take a big risk
Just for a chance
To find her place
In life
But doors that were once open
Were now closed
The people she loved
Now shunned her
And turned their backs

Her once red blood
Ran black and cold
As she applied the lipstick
Her hair
Like black waves flowed
Around her shoulders
Her eyes
Tiger color
Flashed as she slipped
Into her jacket

She became over time
The hunter
Instead of prey
She became
Just like her heart
Her Gothic Heart.

So many things
I want to tell you
But they were never
Able to come out
And now they haunt me
Torment me
In the darkest recesses of my mind.

Sometimes being away
Makes me realize
Just the right amount
Of emotion I have bottled
Inside and away from you.

If you only knew.
How sometimes at night
Id pray to disappear
To die
But
I find the answer
Death would only end the suffering
And start another.
Would you care?
Would you stop me?
No, you would let me go
Down that forsakened path alone.

Torn my heart
Stained my soul
Tears of blood
Flow from unseen wounds
And pool on the floor
As I stand before you

Pure tears
Fall down my face
And mix with the blood
That seems to flow
More from my chest cavity

In my hands
I held the still beating heart
As I hold it out to you
Looking in your hands
Where the silver metal
Flashed in the moonlight.

Wake up
Its just a dream
Or is it.

Images seem to haunt
My mind

So was it really a dream
Or am I eternally alone
And haunted
By a memory.

Body cold
Lifeless eyes
Soul eternally cries
For an end
Release
From the eternal torment
Of the memory

Alone in darkness
Within four walls
This soul
Yearned for completion
For something like itself
To save it.

An angel appeared
Its touch tender
Honest
Loving
Broke this soul
Scaring it back into the darkness

The soul had seen beneath
A heartless being
Cold
Painful reminder
Of what it had been through

Never again
Did this soul
Want to be in anguish
So as the soul took shape
It stood
Alone in this dark place

A soul of pure light
With a heart of darkness
Never to know
Love
Only to know pain.
Im afraid
I will be her one day.
For you see
The heart of darkness
Will not go away.

Why do you weep
Oh soft and fragile heart
You hide behind sheets of glass and ice
You do not wish to be broken again
Your time spent among other hearts
Has caused you great pain

I know how you feel
Oh gentle heart
I know the pain you harbour
I feel the pain
As you flutter in my hands
Beat stronger for me
Please tender heart
The world is cold
Dark
Full of those that want to break you
Pure heart
I will keep you safe if you let me.
Please
Can you hear me
I know you can understand
For you, my heart, are beating in me
Here inside my chest.

So you tell me
You moved on
Thats fine
No ill will
But you turn around
Bash me in a post you did
I wouldnt do that
My mom taught me better
However I never said
I wont get even
You said you want to be friends
But you wanna know something
You lied to me
About everything
But did I bash you online
No...
I respect you enough
To do it to your face
Then walk away
So I will get even
And when I do
You will understand the saying
Hell hath no fury
Like a woman scorned.

Hold me close
When I need you
Even if somethings bothering me
Or not
Hold me close

I want to feel safe
Warm
In your arms
As I snuggle close
Hold me close

Through the night
I want to feel your heat
Your skin against mine
Underneath the moon
As it shines through the glass
To cast a mystical glow
Upon us as we sleep
Hold me close

And as my body goes cold
The final time
Remember me
The way I felt in your arms
As you once
Held me close
For I will be with you
Forever in this way
For you kept your promise
To hold me close.

Things happen for a reason
With no concern of the affect
I thought I moved on
But I see
I am just not over you.

We talked for days now
The old feeling came alive.
Everything hit hard
All at once.
I am just not over you.

I want to see where it leads
I want to see these feelings grow
But all these feelings
And desires
Proves
That I am just not over you.

He sits before me
Pen and paper in hand
His eyes shifting
From side to side

"Thank you.."
Was all he could say
"You were following me"
Voice barely above a whisper
Was my response.

"Shall we begin?"
I asked
As I reached for the lamp switch.
Before I could turn it on
The lights were on.
As I looked at the man
I realized his features were different.

His skin was fair and flawless
His eyes were piercing green
"Yes we can get started."
He picked up the pen and waited
I spoke of my life
Births
Loves
Trials
Joys
Sadness
Regrets
As he wrote it all
He smiled and nodded.

Placing the pen down
He stood quietly
Before I could move
He was behind me.
Leaning close to my ear
He said "Ask me anything"
I froze
Feeling his breath on my neck
"When were you born into darkness and Why did you choose me?"

His response
" I am 400 years old. And I want a soul like yours to be mine."

So my interview was my death
And my rebirth
Into darkness
With my Immortal Love.

I remember
The day
My lonely
Journey
Of pain and misery
Began

It was the day
I walked away
From one
Who meant
The world to me
He made me feel
Whole.

Thirteen years
Has passed
And I cannot fill this void
Deep in my heart
My soul yearns for yours
Even far away
From you hurts my heart
My tears try to wash
The pain from the broken heart
Only to fill the ocean
Of sadness.

I want to sink beneath
Its waves
But I feel you next to me
Unwilling to let go.
"I will not let go..."
Until the two halves
Are reunited
My world will remain
Half asleep
As I will be
Incomplete.

The ground
Rumbles and cracks
As the army
Of heaven
And the army
Of hell gather
To prepare for the final war.

I stood alone
Watching and waiting
For the outcome
As swords and wings clashed
I saw many fall
But never hit the ground

Falling to my knees
I couldnt watch anymore
"Choose..."
A voice said
I looked up
And saw something
I couldnt understand
It was a sword
The blade face down
Stuck in the ground.

I reached for it
But it burned
My hand
Gripping the hilt
Bitting back the udge to scream
I pulled it.

Holding the sword
I looked around
A black beam of energy
Tore through my chest
As I fell to my knee
I turned fast
"Now it ends!"
I scream.

Raising the sword high
I slam it into the shadow
At my feet

I hear an inhuman scream
As I back up
The shadow appears
To take form

Looking closer
It is me but darker
Laying in a pool
Of black blood.

Turning my face upward
I scream
So loud the angels and demons
Stop and look at me.

A little girl appears
Out of the shadows
Running to me she embraces me
"Thank you."
As her energy engulfs me
Before she disappears.
The demons
Back away in fear
For now I stood with the angels
The sword of my destiny
In my hands
Clad in white armor
Ready..
For the final
Inner Apocolypse.

We all have
Someone we
Love,
Cherish
Protect
Would do whatever
It took
Your breath
Blood
Tears
Strength
Your very life

You never doubt them
I have been there
A few times before
And each time
I ended up crying
Until I became aware
Of one
Fragile yet determined
Heart showed me the way
From Darkness to Light

I cant turn back
Not now
So with these words
I call you
By name
In my own way
Lover
Husband
Best friend
Protector
Lifemate

These are the words
I call you
And with this
I close my eyes
And die
In order to be
Reborn
In Your Love.

I promise
I wont let you fall
I promise
I will hold you close
When others turn away
I promise
If you push against me
I will hold my ground
I promise
I will be your armour
Shielding you from harm
And when you feel yourself fade away
I promise
I wont let you become a memory.

Dear Daddy,

I wanna be like you.
I wanna wear the same uniform
When I get older
I wanna work hard to make you proud
Like you have made me
Until then I will help
Mommy through the hard times
I will help watch my brothers grow
I know you have to go away for awhile
I dont want you to go daddy
But you have too
To keep mommy, me
And my brothers safe
Never give up daddy
One day
You will say
Thats my daughter
Thats my soldier.

Walking the narrow streets
I feel your presence
Everywhere
But I am alone
Where are you?

I rub my arms
Continuing to move forward
The current of life
Pulling me along.

I dont feel safe
You left
No word
No sound
I cried
I screamed

What would it take
For you to come back
If I could have one wish
It would be you being here again

I find myself
In front of your door
Peeking in the window
I see you
Drinking away your sorrows
Let me in
One last time
Sing the song
You sang to me
Before you left

I wanna hold you
Console you
Why wont you let me
Self pride
Ahh let it go
I loved you
Didnt you see...

Now your asleep
On the sofa
And having a nightmare
The high pitched scream
As a car slams into me

You blame yourself
Since that night
Ill sing you this one line
Throughout time
It wont rain all the time..

So ill see you on the other side
My love
And keep you warm from above..

When the eagle
And hawk
Fly as one
The legend
Of a warrior
Will come alive

He meets with his comrades
Amist the bonfire
He spoke
Of myths and legends
Warriors
Riding across the sky
Hunting buffalo
As they once had done
Across the grassy plains

War cries fill the air
As they chased down
Their meal
Praying to the great spirit
With each ****
As a way of giving thanks.

The fire flickered
Among their copper skin
As images danced
On the walls

He saw visions
Many things
That had passed
Or going to pass.
He had a wife
He had a son
He also lost both
To war or sickness.

He called forth
Many of us by name
As he made his way
To the sacred cave

His final vision quest
Led him deep within
There he drew
His final breath

Not before he prayed
To the great spirit
To guide him home
And to protect his decendants.

So now
Whenever I see
An eagle in the sky
And hear a hawks cry
I know he is watching
And waiting

The painted warrior
Now in the sky.

He sat in the barracks
Comtemplating over
His life
Relationships
Watching many of his friends die
Some in his arms
Others before his eyes
What hurt him the most
He had no one to call his own
Back home
He shed his tears for his comrades
Behind closed doors
He never wished to be seen crying
For in his mind he thought emotions
Were his weakness

As he sat on his bed
His thoughts drifted to his relationships
Many women had come in and out
Of his life
Hurt and destroyed him
Both mentally and emotionally
Until he met a woman
That even though she was married
And had her own problems
They became very close friends

He tried having several other girlfriends
But they threatened to hurt themselves
If they didnt hear from him
While he was overseas
He found it rather annoying
So the only one he talked to
Was his best friend
They would laugh and flirt around
In a sense it helped him
Get his mind off the battlefield

Other women came into his life
And did the same as the others
As time wore on his best friend
Stood beside him
Silently watching
Little did he know she was more valuable
To him
He realized she had done something
The others could not do
Through everything
She had taken his heart without him
Even knowing

Over time he cherished her more
He longed to hold her close
To keep her safe
But he didnt want to make her choose
He knew someone would end up hurt
He just didnt want it to be her

So he decided to wait
And to this day he waits
For the love that seemed so far away
For inside he was
A Lost Soldier
With a heart
Full of Hidden Wounds.

I seem to think
Of you alot lately
This time
I want to break down
Cry
Scream
But mostly die

People tell me that you
Dont care about me
But I feel they are wrong
Others dispise you
For what you stand for
They do not see
What I see
Or know
What I know.

You have the heart
Of a fighter
Strength
That comes from within
Will power of titanium
Spoken harsh words
When necessary.

And yet thats only brushing
The surface
People have chipped away
At you with
Words
Actions
All of which I am guilty of
I am sorry for hurting you

I know it was from a lie
And I was wrong.
But did I lie
When I said
I love you?
No I dont think
I did

Truth is I still
Love you
And so
I hold onto
These precious
Memories
In the hope
That there is a chance
Before darkness consumes
My heart
And death takes my soul
From my body

All I have left
Are Memories

Sadness
Engulfed her soul
Her heart broke
As man
Tore at her body
Everyday.

She cried to the wind
As trees fell
With a sickening crack
It made her stomach turn
As the natural beauty
She nurtured
Was destroyed
For the sake of men.

Waters ran crimson
As pollution
Death
Ravaged her life blood
Her tears would fall as rain
To wash away earthly pain.

We never see
What we do
To mother earth
Everyday
So I will only have this to say.

Her sadness
Will be only for those to wonder
Her body is for those to plunder
But we all return to her
When we are six feet under.

He wears army acus
**** good with his weapon
But he is also just a man
He never judged me by what was said
He always wanted to help me out
If I had a bad day
He would make my anger go away
If I was happy
He made sure I stayed that way
When I told him how I felt
He confessed he felt the same
Because of this
Our feelings grew
Into something new
When we met in person
I saw him for who he was
Just a man..
He has dreams
He has fears
He will talk with you if you lend an ear
He spoke of what he saw
Overseas
Losing friends left and right
Him wanting to give up the fight
He then turned to me
And said
"You saved me"
I wondered how even after he left
Then the answer came
"You gave me hope...
Your laugh gave me life
But most of all..
Your kiss gave me your heart"

So my best friend and guard
We will protect each other when times are hard.

I remember his smile
His embrace
His touch on my fingers
As he played beside me
We made such beautiful music
Why did you have to go?
I loved watching you
Prepare for concerts
The calone you always wore
Always making sure
The tuxedos were fitted right
You would play the melodies
Of your life for all that would hear
Just as suddenly it was over
The music lost its magic
I played one last time
As I closed my eyes
I began to cry
I felt you next to me again
As I finished the song and quietly stood for the final bow
I saw you
In white
In front of you crystal piano
Smiling at me as you played
The same melody
Now it lives on on me.

Walking among
The mighty forest trees
I feel something calling out to me
As I draw closer I see a man
Dressed in traditional buckskin
As I watch him
He moves his hand
As if wanting me to join him
Beside the fire.

I walk forward slowly
As if in awe of this man
As he speaks
I watch the flames dance
To his words
He spoke of a time
Where buffalo ran free
Across the plains
Peaceful plains
That rolled in the winds.

He spoke of a man
Who had a warrior spirit
He was the son of a mighty chief
He was devoted to his tribe
He sacrificed himself to protect them

I saw images of this warrior
In my mind as the flames
Entranced me with its
Hypnotic dance

This man in the flames
Did not look like the man
Who was speaking
It was as if this image
Was nestled in my heart
For there he stood
A man proud
And tall
With the spirit of a warrior

When the story was told
The storyteller smiled
"You have found your Spirit Warrior...."

He turned
And walking away
He disappeared
What was he
A ghost?
A spirit guide?
But I did
Find him
My Spirit Warrior.

Remebering your voice
And the tone
The gentleness
Protectiveness
It started up again.

Why?
I was over you
I let go of you
I moved on without you
Why is this happening.

I wont turn again
I go forward
Not backwards
So make up your mind

Just please
Understand
What is past is past
I will be sure
It will
Never happen again.

Once upon a midnight dreary
While you ponder weak and weary
Images of blood that is shed
Dance around inside my head

Chains jingle from above
As they hold you still my love
Why do you fight it dear
Is it out of fear
Struggle fight
With all your might
But I promise one will die tonight

Shudder as you feel
The sharp blade of cold steel
I get to play
Tonight is my night
Scream and cry as much as you like
No one will hear
They wont save you..
I am your fear
"Stay away from me.."
" Why... Im your perfect enemy.."

Now you ponder weak and weary
As death lingers close
The room is dank and dark
Careful what you wish for
Just like it once said...
Nevermore