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River May 2016
I'm the most negative person
I'm the most positive person
I'm the nicest, kindest, loveliest person
you'll ever meet
I'm the meanest, nastiest, cruelest of souls

I'm so skeptical
I'm so open hearted
I live my life with bounded feet
I dance to the beat of my own dream.

I am a conglomeration of contradictions
How the **** am I supposed to know who I am,
What my purpose is,
In which direction to follow
When my soul is both north and south
Light and dark
Love and evil
River May 2016
“I talked to a calzone for fifteen minutes last night before I realized it was just an introverted pizza. I wish all my acquaintances were so tasty.
” ~ Jarod Kintz
River Apr 2016
Cover my eyes
Blindness
Stars and
Unidentified fuzzy objects
In the recesses of my mind
Coming towards me
With closed eyes

The pitter-patter
Of the rain
On my window pane
And Lana is singing melancholy
And my time is spent in sweet folly
Is it all pointless?
Or, what are the signs pointing to?
Is there no truth?

Dilapidated Brooklyn apartment
Me, just a toddler
Pressing down on my eyes with my palms
So I could see stars
Or, like I used to say,
To "watch movies in my brain"

Now, me, twenty two
No longer ignorant and
so much less blissful
Remembering
Where pressing palms on eyes
Can take me.
River Apr 2016
Speaking up
For myself,
And you
Speaking up for the Universe

No need to sit back in fear
No need to be anyone's victim
You're stronger than you think
You're passionate about a cause
And it doesn't matter if they don't care

Burn the record of how many times you've been knocked down
Stand up, stand up
Don't ever ever give up
Cause you're too strong to surrender
So we got to stop pretending

Our minds are on fire
In our hearts: an insatiable desire
So why are we wasting our lives away
In our own figurative caves
Do you hear your call to change?
It's time to get up and change yourself
So we can change the world.
River Apr 2016
Gone With The Wind is one of my favorite movies. I resonate so strongly with both Scarlett and Melanie... I feel like Scarlett is all ego and Melanie is all heart and soul. I feel like these two characters are two voices of many in my psyche. I experience a constant internal battle within, as my inner Scarlett prattles relentlessly on, draining my energy, with her goals being vain pursuit, external validation and self preservation. My inner Melanie on the other hand, fully aware of my inner Scarlett's self sabotage, embraces Scarlett lovingly and compassionately, yet doesn't allow Scarlett to throw her off center or make her feel inferior, because it's impossible for Melanie to feel inferior or in desperate need because she knows her intrinsic worth. So, in all, I would say that Scarlett is my ego and Melanie is my Soul.~~ Just sharing my analogy with the community to shed light on a struggle many of us face~~
River Apr 2016
Children,
Spreading joy and wonder
Playing and fighting
Following their dreams
And inventing wild stories,
These all emerge from the hearts of children

And sometimes when I find I can no longer continue on in my self sabotage
I have an ideal to hold on to
The ideal children emanate
The lies my ego perpetuates
Are so hard to erase
I believe this story about myself and the world
That causes me feel like a basket case
But when I close my eyes
And embrace my inner child
I remember who I am
And I remember that *I can
River Apr 2016
Bored
Of all this noise and all these toys and this empty,
Empty void
I'm bored with rules and regulations
Tired of this home and this cold bed
I'm blinded by these white cracked walls that keep me in
I'm tired of this fear that doesn't let anyone in
I'm bored of this television and laptop
I'm tired of being twenty
Even though when I was a teen I was severely depressed
At least I looked forward to a brighter future
Now all I feel is intense anxiety and fear of leaving the nest
Accidents and crime prevail
And I let that hold me back from setting sail.

Bored, within these four walls
And I can barely breathe with ease
Because fear is constantly closing in on me
Sometimes I think all I need
Is arm that I can trust, to protect me from harm
But let's be realistic
There is no one in this world I can trust
Most hearts have hardened and become masochistic
So my own heart has begun to rust.
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