River

River Apr 2016

Slumber

Slumber
Through decay
Slumber through the whole day
Time just keeps ticking away
And night creeps stealthily and soon
Until there is no more light, not even from the moon

Go on, let us continue in our sleep
Let's continue numbing the truths we wish not to speak
For even I know our future is bleak,
For even I know our future is bleak

I may not spend all my hours
Educating myself on politics
I'm out chasing butterflies like I'm still 5
But it doesn't take a smart person to know
That if we collectively continue in the direction we are heading
It will all go...
Their will be no more earth to sow
No more life to grow

I guess, maybe
This Universal death is inevitable
Natural, though catastrophic
Like frightened animals anticipating a storm
We're in a frenzy, running in circles
Turning to myriad vices and hollow hopes
Only to reach the final day
And realize,
Transcendence was not to be avoided
For through transcendence
We awaken

A particularly sullen point of view

River Apr 2016

Eagle

Bike rides
After morning and before night
My wheels take me to new avenues
Where the novelty my eyes peruse
On these adventures spontaneity is what I pursue
I meander streets
Following the direction of my
Whimsical heart
I turn off my mind
I go for a ride
I open my eyes
Tune into my senses
Become aware of my instincts
And forget all my pretenses
Sometimes I go out like a detective
Tracking down glimpses of clues
That could lead to you
But instead
I accidentally come upon
Eagles, and sunsets
The bridge with the water below
And chasing the kids who stole
So, as life continues on without us being together
I will go out and bike during this lovely weather
Because out in the real world, I view uncertainty as endless possibility
And that, within the core of my being, brings me so much pleasure.

River Apr 2016

Like you so much

Like you so much it hurts
My body's aching
My heart is yearning
The song that reminds me of you is on repeat
Could you make my heart replete?

Sometimes I say Never mind
Sometimes I just want to shake you out of my mind
I think I don't have the time
I don't have the tolerance
To love again
Past mirrors and compliments into becoming each other's confidants

See it's really all slipping away
Last time I saw you
It was just a micro second
You skidded away on your long board
Came into my vision as quickly as you left
And I'm stuck in this stagnation
Breathing out life into this oblique resignation
I twist and turn, when will I learn
To not give my heart away again

Just have to stand on two feet
Because I have them and got to
Move forward and do, I think
But I can't get up from those days
It's all a haze
A dream that produces screams

Not ready
Not ready
Not ready to live
She said
On her last day.

River Mar 2016

Remnants of You

Remnants of you
Paint my walls
Pepper my subconscious

See the world is melting literally,
And I just can't open my heart
To accept this misery

Tides are rising
My emotions are in hiding
Iron heart, girl set a part
It's a subtle and calculating art
I collect men's hearts
And feel nothing inside.

Remnants of lost hope
Is what you left
In my apartment, in my soul and heart
But see,
I don't care
And that's what really bothers me.

River Mar 2016

My Center

My center
In tune
With the sun
And the moon

Equilibrium
Is what I seek
I am calm
In calamity I am meek

The waves thrash violently
On the surface
But underneath it all
I am still, on purpose

I used to dream
About white picket fences
Husbands
And being on the beach eating ice cream

But reality,
So sweet
Always throws me off my feet
And teaches me such intense lessons

I know nothing
But this
Rely on God
and follow your bliss.

When I say "husbands" I'm not talking about polyandry lol. Also, the God I refer to is free of any religious associations.

River Mar 2016

Different Now

It's different now
No longer am I sad about
The trivialities
That used to squeeze my heart dry
My heart is stronger now
I'm on my feet,
Grounded
Even astounded,
I guess
Because I'm different now
I don't know how
Through all the years
Of toil
Now my heart is spoiled
With love
And I'm grateful
All I can cry about is being too happy
All I can feel is thanks...

River Mar 2016

Path

Unknown path
The soles of my feet
Have taken a mind of their own
The earth is my river
My feet are the oars

I saw you
In the distance
Always in the distance
You're just a figment
Just one instance
I always forsake it
So much intensity,
I just can't take it

Tap into my brain
My heart
My name
Touch my hand
Let me feel you
Feel me
Feeling, easy

Pray to the Universe
For some fortuitous verse
My shyness is a curse
I try to shake it
But that only makes it worse

Dreams
Dreams are all I have of you
And collections of what could be
And what I think should be
You're right down there
And I'm right up here
Can we align
On the same wave
I need to ride this wave with you
I want to

Our paths are parallel
And soon they will intersect
We'll meet right in the middle
No worrying
No force
With ease we'll flow
Right to the green spring meadow
Where at last
Our hearts will understand

We will lie our bodies down in the grass
Our hopeful hearts will beat fast
So, I'll meet you there soon
I'm now walking the path

Our hearts are vagrants
Our divinely timed meeting
Will come soon
Our hearts entwined
Will fill our bones with the home
We've always searched for.